events of 2004...

so i couldn't even stay away for 24 hours. i need help. seriously.

(before i start this, i just want to say, i watched the first 5 episodes of desperate housewives last night. i'm hooked.)

so, here are some events of MY year. because, we all know that MY blog is all about ME. because in my world, i'm the fucking queen. hell yes.

january:
*we got monkey. bought her with jules and mel (not of mega-sized fame). poor baby fit in the palm of my hand. she was twitching in the heat (yeah, for some reason, it was about 90 degrees that one weekend in jan) and we thought she would die. we had no idea how hearty that little bunny was. she's fucking huge now.
*turned 27. wasn't as bad as when i turned 25 and went through my early mid-life crisis. woohoo! can't wait to turn 40. that'll be fun for steve.

february:
*my mom turned 55, my dad turned 61. i always think of them being in their late 30s, early 40s. i can't help it.

march:
*went to tahiti for steve's 35th birthday. it's fucking paradise. it's beeeeyoootiful. we stayed mainly on the island of moorea. there's a coral reef that protects the island about a mile out from the shore, so the water is so, so still. and very buoyant. even i could swim. (i don't know how to swim... especially not in a pool.) and the water's warm. so warm that except for the wetness, you don't know when you're stepping into the water. we went to the caribbean for our honeymoon and tahiti blows that place away...
*cousin's baby, sophia, turned 1. i can't believe it came so fast.

april:
*went to PA to visit steve's grandpa and other family for easter.
*saw morrissey

may:
*coachella. finally saw radiohead. it was fucking amazing.

june:
*brother turned 16, sister turned 17. (please, for the love of god, don't make comments about my sister almost being 18... or anything to that effect. please. i'm begging. you pervs.)
*sandra collins and dj icey at spundae. steve almost got into his first fight defending my honor. what an asshole that guy at the club was.

july:
*trip up to napa. to visit friends and wineries. mmm. silver oak, cakebread, grgich, oh my!
*comic-con. saw jude law... JUUUUUDE!
*started my blog. surprisingly, i haven't stopped blogging. i do that a lot. start things and don't finish. i'm lame that way. god, i love the blogger community. :D
*sarah mclachlan at the anaheim pond
*james lavelle at the spider club

august:
*concert at the hollywood bowl
*trip to napa for an old jr. high school friend's wedding. her name is abigail. his name is brad. i like to call them brabigail. but not to their faces.

september:
*a friend of mine married a jackass loser... but we ended up going to seattle and vancouver and having a fabulous time, so i think that cancels each other out. hehe.
*beastie boys at LBC

october:
*oktoberfest.
*new orleans. and voodoo fest. way too much drinking. wait, what am i talking about? i have never put those 4 words together... "way too much drinking" pffff.
*monster massive on halloween.

november:
*halo 2 finally came out.
*met mike and nina.
*our 2 year anniversary.
*new zealand and australia.

december:
*xmas with the folks

seriously, i think that this year was highlighted by the blog. i never would've met so many cool people otherwise... so, thanks to everyone who's stopped by! :)

looking forward to everyone's blogs in 2005 :)

today's my friday. woot!

man, i was swamped today. working sucks. i'm going to see i can leave now. i worked my ass off today.

will be back on january 4. although, i think i'm going to be SWAMPED when i'm back. i'm only back for a day and a half. wednesday afternoon, i'm taking off for vegas. not for fun, though. for work. damn it. i hate going to vegas for work. ooh, working in vegas makes it sound like i'm a stripper or something. hot!

so, yeah... if i don't post until 1/10, it's because i'm out of town. but i doubt i will be able to stay away from blogs that long, though... i'll get the shakes, for sure. hell, i'll prolly be back on tomorrow.

but in case i'm not, i hope everyone has a safe, happy, and fun new years eve, new years day....

*update. damn. i didn't get to leave early. fuck! it's 6:30 now! aw, man!*

stressed the fuck out

fuck. i hate month-end. i just feel like fucking screaming and crying all at once. that's not fucking, screaming, and crying. okay. how about i just say that i just fucking feel like screaming and crying all at once. okay. yeah. that makes more sense. or something.

it's all i can do to keep myself from screaming at people when they just look into my cube. i need to get the fuck away from this place.

i can't wait until tomorrow's over. at least we get new years eve off.

i was going to leave at 4, but the boss' boss keeps on coming around. i think he's checking on me. jeezus. no trust around here. :P

i'm leaving at 5. damn it. yeah.

luscious jackson and len

so, steve and i didn't get to have lunch together today. bummer.

went to my car and i had luscious jackson in the car. fever in fever out is a great fucking album. quite underrated, to be honest.

and that reminded me of len. you can't stop the bum rush is also underrated. they had one hit. steal my sunshine. i hate that fucking song. it's the absolute worst song on that album. i was cleaning (before steve and i got married) and i saw this cd. i remember thinking, "oh, jeezus, i HATE that song... do i dump him? but he has good taste in music... maybe i should give it a spin before i break up with him over this cd."

and i gave it a spin. and i loved it. i still hated that stupid first track, though.

and since we're on the L's here, check out lemon jelly. good chill out music.

in answer to the questions asked....

thanks for the recommendations, all... :)

CL:
1. Have you ever killed anything bigger than an insect? (intentionally or otherwise)
(no. but i have fantasized about killing psycho and getting away with it... i always had problems trying to figure out what to do with the bones and teeth. i was thinking grind them up into a fine powder and dumping it in the ocean. think that would work???)

2. What do you hate to do but do it anyway because Steve likes it?
(i don't do anything i don't like to do. i make him suffer. muwahahaha! i've tried things, but boy, we never did any of that again! :P hehe)

3. Have you ever walked in on someone having sex?
(not that i remember, but i've heard my parents having sex once. *shudder*)

YB:
1. If you could trade places with anyone, who would it be?
(someone smarter and wittier than myself. or smurfette. the only female in a village full of smurfs... that little slut. :P)

2. What is your favorite place that you've visited?
(hrm... i really LOVED tahiti. it was so beautiful... if you're looking for a nightlife, though, i wouldn't suggest going there... unless your nightlife consists of lots and lots of hot sex. woohoo!)

3. What's the biggest pet-peeve you have?
(i'm going to have to make a list. i could never pick just one... and it depends on what kinda mood i'm in... so in no order whatsoever:
*women talking to me in the restroom
*people who don't flush the toilet after themselves
*people who can't multi-task whilst driving
*stupid people
*super happy fucking people
*fake people
*people in general)

Adam:
1. Why aren't mandarin oranges sold in HUGE tubs for me to eat?
(but they are! wholesome choice near my house usually has them in tubs... they might even throw in the tub for you! :P)

2. Do angels really get their wings every time a kitten dies?
(no. why the fuck would they get them when a kitten dies? they weren't guarding the kitten so the kitten died. they don't get shit. stupid angels.)

3. What do you want in life?
(i just want to be satisfied.)

Jules:
Q1: will you name your first born after me?
(why you gotta bring up the kids? damn you.)

Q2: who do you really want to see at our 10 year?
(no one. everyone i want to see, i talk to now. everyone else can kiss my fucking arse. i'm only going because jeaneil scares the fuck outta me with her "mommy" voice.)

Q3: what do you want for your birthday? i need some ideas.. hehehe..
(check my amazon wishlist :P)

AmberSun:
Q1: What is the hardest thing about being married?
(damn! put me on the spot! hehe... without a doubt, it's gotta be the BEARD. hehe... actually, this question should really be asked to steve because i really don't have any complaints. i've been whining about how i always have to feed the bunny in the morning so he gets to sleep in a bit and i don't... but normally that doesn't bother me... i've just been whining... uhm... there needs to be compromise. people who can't compromise shouldn't get married. before i met steve i thought the toughest thing about being married would be seeing the same man every night. hehe... but thus far, that doesn't suck :P being in a routine took some getting used to. but being married to the most wonderful man in the world isn't wearing on me at all...)

Q2: Are you more like your mom or your dad?
(oh, god, i so want to lie and say i'm like my dad... but i'm my mother. it's scary. i see my future... and it's freaking me out.)

Q3: What's your favorite drink?
(there are so many to choose from... i like steve's concoctions (huh huh... cock)... but sometimes, i'm not in the mood for fancy drinks... i'm going to say vodka tonic. i will always drink one of those. preferably good vodka.)

MTMT:
(btw, shaun of the dead is a fucking great movie... check my list of best of 2004)

What is the happiest moment of your life?
(just one? i'm lazy. check it.)

What is your favorite kind of cheese?
(just one? damn... right now it's mascarpone.)

What are your top 3 musical guilty pleasures that you are embarrassed to share (please share them with everybody on the internet)?
(final fantasy x-2 soundtrack, and i'm being completely honest when i say i can't think of any others)

Nina:
Q1: When are you planning on coming to AZ for a visit?
(i'm going to have to defer this one to "the boss" because i'm ready anytime!)

Q2: If you could be a different ethnicity or gender would you?
(i always thought it would be cool to be a guy, and when i was a kid, i used to hate being asian because there weren't any other asians growing up, but now, i like it... so, if i had to change either one of them forever, i wouldn't do it.)

Q3: What do you mark as your highest achievment to date?
(keeping the bunny alive past her first birthday... actually, i think it's leaving psycho. it was tough. i had no money, almost no friends left... the ones i did have lived far away. i was pretty much all alone. but i made it.)

LAH:
1. When you were a kid, what did you secretly try when no one was looking? (ex:Eat dog food or something gross)
(i tried to turn peanuts into a snickers bar... like on that old commercial. sorry. i don't know anything gross i tried.)

2. Have you ever called a 900 number or sex chat equivalent?
(when i was ... pretty young. i think i may have been about 10 or 11, i called one. i was a lonely kid. "are you lonely? call... " yeah. i didn't realize it was for sex. oops.)

3. Have you ever lied about your age...and if so, what's your favorite age to be?
(HEY! that's 2 questions. when i was 20, going to bars was a pain. always had to lie and say i was 21. hehe... another time, we were at a club and this kid wouldn't leave me alone. he looked pretty young, so i told him i was 33. he still didn't leave me alone. i told him i was married to steve, and the kid didn't believe me because steve didn't care i was getting hit on by some little kid. jerk. and in answer to that second question -cheater- don't have one. lying up has always been good for me, though. "you look great for your age!")

last night

went to dinner with steve's boss. we had a good time. he was very personable. i didn't have to be fake or anything. i really liked him a lot. he's a tad long-winded. by a tad, i mean VERY. at least we didn't have to worry about uncomfortable silences. lots of navy stories (he was in 'nam)... it was all very interesting.

i had 4 fucked up dreams last night... 2 were fucked up. there was a 5th, but i can't remember it anymore.

1. steve and i are in LA. i was buying stuff. my friend ji was there and at some point, i noticed that my dollars weren't uniform in shape. as i got farther into the stack, they were xerox copies and b&w. and the copies weren't even centered. it would be just a corner of a dollar bill or something. also the currency had weird denominations. like $40 bills and $125 bills. i was getting frustrated because i couldn't remember all the places we'd been that day for me to go back and tell them i'd counterfeit dollars.

2. got a big box from the disney store. it said "happy holidays from RNB & JRN" xmas gifts. 2 big stuffed animal in the shapes of spiders and a big, blue fuzzy lilo and stitch blanket. we hadn't gotten the blanket out yet when this really big ass bug (which was also a stuffed animal) starts talking to us. she wants us to stay still so she can eat us. i say aloud, "i wish we had two big spiders to eat you!" (which i would never say in real life because spiders scare me.) the two stuffed spiders came in from the other room and start chasing this bug. they were leaping around the room. they're big. like, a foot in diameter. at first i thought puppet strings were brushing against my face, but it turns out those strings were web. don't remember anything else.

3. i was with a bunch of people who were supposed to be my friends, though none of them looked familiar. i had to pee, but apparently, we were supposed to pee in the meats and cheese section of Ralph's. also, the meats and cheeses were in a different section. it was by the employees door. anyway, i thought it was weird, but people were just walking by like it was normal. and i couldn't stop peeing. peeing like a racehorse. and then the dream rewound. i had to pee all over again. but this time, we went through the employee door. i went to the bathroom in there. but the toilet seat was so high up, i actually had to sit on it, instead of squat. my feet were a foot off the ground. there was no door. so while i'm peeing, each of these "friends" sat in a line and watched me pee. the first would get up and leave, and the second one would move up to the front of the line and watch me. it was unnerving.

4. in the same room as dream 2. jules is in an art class. there was about 10 or 15 people in this class. steve and i went to check it out. we get in the room and each person is kneeling by a horse. these horses are those tiny horses. their assignment is to sculpt a horse or something out of the horse's shit. every few minutes the horse would take a step up. if the horse got to the wall before the student was complete, the student got kicked out of the class. sorry, jules. you failed. heh.

what the fuck? what gross fucking dreams i had last night. bugs, piss, shit... ew.

2PAC

the man has a new fucking album every fucking year, seems like...

i know he's not dead... there's just no way he could possibly be dead. steve says 2pac has hundreds of unreleased songs on archive.

i am not buying that one bit. that's what they want you to believe....

i think he's in morocco...

stole from CL and YB

CL and YB had this on their blogs...

(A) First, recommend to me:
1. a movie
2. a book
3. a musical artist, song, or album

(B) Ask me three questions, no more, no less. Ask me anything you want. Answers will be posted next week--great time for strangers to say hi. ***

(C) Then go back to your blog, copy and paste this allowing your friends to ask you anything; say that you stole it from me.

***blogger note: i reserve the right to NOT answer any of these questions.... because i'm a fucking pussy like that. but please, ask away :P

xmas

xmas eve was nice... my parents and sister came by... we had dinner. didn't turn out too horribly. roasted chicken, green beans, barley and wild rice... apple pie... (still haven't tried making my own pie crust since the other incident. heh...

we watched two brothers with my parents. god, my mom loves those animal movies... the movie was really cute. i don't know if i would call it GOOD... i did like it, though... and the shots were amazing. those tigers were trained really well.... or, they just had hundreds and hundreds of hours of stuff and just spliced it all together... i dunno. at any rate, it was pretty damned amazing.

the parents went to church with my sister and we opened our gifts to each other and we got ready for xmas dinner at steve's aunt and uncle's home... it was nice. i went over around 12, steve went to get his mom and hung out with her for a bit... i helped cook and stuff... which, i guess i don't really mind doing... i love his aunt and uncle... they are really sweet. and i absolutely don't mind helping his aunt in the kitchen... some days are good for her, some days are bad... she has diabetes and has had toes amputated and such...

at any rate, i love to help her. she is a wonderful woman. but, her daughter... jeezus... she is usually really nice to me, but i thought i felt something a little weird about this visit. i don't know what it is... i don't want to say anything more. i love steve's family. they welcomed me in without question... okay, well, maybe a little... the stuff about me not being republican and me maybe being a heathen... heh... but, even so, they've always been so accepting of me...

anyway, we ate for like... 4 hours. dessert was yummy. steve's cousin can bake like nobody's business... some really good dark chocolate fudge and apple pie... it was fabulous...

afterwards, we went home, picked up my sister and went to my cousin's place. for gifts and stuff with their baby. she is really cute. a handful, but really cute. not in a bad way. she's just got a lot of energy... that i don't have. especially after that huge ass dinner. and 2 glasses of champagne. it's funny because normally just one glass of champagne gets me a little loopy, but i'd eaten so much that i didn't feel a thing until i'd finished the second glass... it wasn't even a REAL buzz, either. heh...

went home, played the happy bunny game with my sister and watched around the world in 80 days. i loved steve coogan in 24 hour party people. i thought he did a good job in this movie. i wanted to like it more than i did. it was kinda fun. but... it was missing something. i don't know what, though. the fighting scenes were typical jackie chan... i'm convinced they've gotta speed the tape up or something... i can't believe that he can still move like that... and that fast. it's unbelievable. i mean, he's 50 years old. not that 50 is old or anything... just kinda old to be doing the shit he's doing! oh, and they had some good hong kong stars in it. real ones. not just some random ass asian people.

took my sister to her church this morning... she's going on a ski trip with the youth group at her church. i always get pretty paranoid when she goes anywhere... i hope she has a good time. i hope she stays safe... she'd better remember to call me when she gets home....

what else did i do today.... i took a 3 hour nap. it was heavenly :) hehe... i am just so tired. i think it's because i got a christmas visit from aunt flo.... yay. uhm. yeah.

played some pikmin2. realized it's time to sell it.... and then turned on super mario sunshine... and the save file got erased or something. :( there are only 6 shine sprites. we had over 50 or something like that. :( damn. i gave myself motion sickness, though. had to quit playing. *barf*

i keep thinking today's monday... but it's sunday! and we don't have work tomorrow! i'm going to lounge around in pj's all damned day. it's going to RULE.

my booty... yar!

i totally got spoiled this year... besides all that shit i got from work, i got:

• "whatever, you moron" happy bunny game (which we played last night with my sister)
• new balance sneakers (i love new balance... even if their target market is like 50 years old)
• ella fitzgerald poster (thanks, jules!!! we love it!!!)
• Y: the last man - safeword (check out the whole series. it kicks ass.)
• lilo & stitch coloring book (i'm so going to color it in, too...)
• the true story of the 3 little pigs
• elf dvd(will ferrell cracks my shit up)
  
• fabriclive 18: andy c & dj hype (drum & bass magic)
  
• celso machado's varal
• opus: 25 years of his sunday best (i love opus and bloom county... i have since i was... maybe 9 years old...)
  
• a squishy monkey pillow
• depeche mode: one night in paris (exciter tour - the DM concert steve and i went to together... but, not in paris)
• 2 miffy & friends dvds
• miss spider dvd
• karaoke revolution 2 (sweeet!)
• the alice print we bought in australia... but a bigger one and framed. steve bought another copy from the guy in australia... the guy hasn't ever done an international order before, and didn't accept credit cards ... so steve had to mail him cash... i cried when i opened it.....)
• the book of bunny suicides (it's the korean version... although, it doesn't REALLY matter because there aren't any words, anyway... hehe)
  
• "peep this" notepad fridge magnet (i'm going to have to hide it when my mom comes to visit... hehe)
  
• hip hop bunny mug (i love hip hop and i love bunnies! heh)
  
• bee-otch mug (now... which mug do i bring to work to use there... hrm... hehe)
  
• le cordon bleu pastry recipe book... in korean.... which is really cool... one day i'll use it...
  
• stuffed totoro (from my sister. she's so cute)
• shotglass from el salvador and other various treasures from that far away land :P
  
• washer/dryer set (that's coming tomorrow)
• money/giftcards/etc....
  

damn... you'd think someone liked me or something.... so much to play with... so little time. i guess i got really lucky this year... :)

and btw, i told steve he could keep his beard... *sigh* i give up. heh.

i hope everyone else got what they wanted for xmas as well!!!! :)

and hope everyone had a wonderful, merry xmas....

laffy taffy, cleaning, and other crap...

i got a package from yankeebob today... laffy taffy because i won the laffy taffy contest... along with... hrm. i think veronica and someone else i don't believe i know... i'm going to stuff my face full of the stuff on xmas morning... i think that's what xmas is all about. stuffing my face.

i was going to clean and start cooking today... but... the cooking part didn't happen. went grocery shopping. and steve and i went shopping for a new washer/dryer set. we didn't buy anything. his mom is getting us the set for xmas. she's so sweet... they're expensive! i've never gone shopping for a washer/dryer before. dayam. i feel kinda bad she's getting it... i was lusting after the gas stoves. (damn you, woman.)

last night we watched ricky gervais' live 2. this one is called "politics." it's even less PC and funnier than his first one, "animals." if you like "the office" you MUST watch his stand up routines. they're so goddamned funny... and if you're not familiar with either ricky gervais or "the office" get yourself acquainted... it's some funny ass shit...

we went out for fondue tonight. i've never had fondue before. (i told you i was sheltered...) we had this delightful swiss cheesy melty thing... and a chocolate desserty one... and then i started getting nervous because i didn't take my lactaid beforehand... i have my good days and i have my REALLY bad days... so i was keeping my fingers crossed... nothing yet...

i tired. i very, very tired...

merry xmas... i'm going to be cooking all day tomorrow. wish me luck....

yay!

it is officially vacation!!!! woot! woot! do the disco call!

not sure how often i'll be posting... or if i'll be posting at all... i'm definitely back at work on tuesday. i'm pretty sure i won't be able to live without checking on blogs, though...

happy holidays!!!!

*and even though blogger hasn't updated my profile in a while, i just wanted to say that i believe THIS is my 500th post. holy shit.*

getting nervous

my boss' boss just gave me a box of chocolates. why? he already gave me a big gift.

i think it means that i'm going to be SCREWED the first week of january. shit. shit. shit.

mierda, i say.

yahoo's launchcast

is rocking my world right now... i have my very own channel... and i get to rate albums on their 4 star system.

basically from 0-4... 0 being "sweet baby jesus, don't play this again" to 4: "i'm going to have an orgasm, gimme more" okay, fine. those are my ratings.

and they play on random... yeah. it's cool.

my brain is on vacation.

but i finished my stupid spreadsheet. i hope i can go home now. :D

born slippy still rocks my world. i could never figure out what they were saying in the middle part ... so i just looked it up on lyricsfreak.com and holy shit! whaddaya know. he really was saying "mega mega white thing"...

okay, i have no fucking idea what that song is about. whatever. i love it. i think i need to ingest copious amounts of drugs. then it'll all make sense... yeah.... i need a dealer first. damn it! so many things in the way of enlightenment.

it's only 1:45

and i wanna go home....

all i can think about is what i'm making for xmas eve dinner... and if i wanna change anything... and how i need to go shopping for food in the morning...

i made chocolate cake last night. that's what i want for dinner. :D mmmm. chocolate. came out better than the last chocolate cake i made. i think next time will be good.

but, GOD, why is so difficult to bake?

sleazeball

so, i had to go get a signature for a PO. and the guy who needs to sign it is looking me up and down. and not stopping. i'm so fucking glad i totally covered up. mock turtleneck, pants, boots. and i'm wearing my leather jacket. you can't see any skin on me. well, except my face and my hands.

so i got tired of him looking, so i pushed my stomach out as far as i could get it to go, slouched over so it looked like i had no boobs.

but i'm thinking i may have made a mistake. now he's going to gossip with all the other men about how i'm gaining weight.

they're worse than girls. i swear.

holy shit!

i just realized that today is like friday for me.

my mood just got 1000x better.

scored!

uhm, not that...

yesterday, we got like 3 big ol' boxes in the mail... one was from friends... (thanks, guys! not opening it until xmas, though... we're going to be good.) one was from my boss' boss... who is basically the closest you can get to being president, if you're a white man. a really nice gift basket. it's all this stuff you need for breakfast in bed. really sweet.

was i supposed to get him something? i dunno. i mean, he only makes slightly more than i do. and by slightly, i mean at least 10 times more than i do. :P but i feel guilty. i gave the man a card.... sheesh.

the other package was our xmas present to us from us! a brand spankin' new AV PC. built in TV tuner... (all we need is cable. heh) i think it's an 80GB, 512MB... one of them fancy brite screens. a tad on the heavy side, but beeeeyooootiful. i just *heart* it. boy, it's a good thing that one guy that i help out a lot gave me some cash... it's all legal! i swear! it was just a little gift of appreciation. i love that man.

i had a dream last night that steve and i were on a spaceship. and there was no one else on the ship except for this guy i knew from high school, todd. in the middle of the room we were in, there was this circular ... thing. all around it had handles. starting with the color red, it went through the rainbow. but there weren't just 7 handles. it was huge. it started with red and in shades changed to orange, yellow, green, etc...

steve and i didn't know what to do with these big handles. todd said, "i'm going to figure it out." and ran out the airlock. steve and i just looked at each other like, wtf just happened????

there was some discussion as to what happened to his body... i can't really remember specifics.

and just a few seconds later, we were landing. we looked out of the window and there's this uninhabited planet. there were signs of a civilization (buildings and cities and such) but no creatures. and right when we should've hit the ground the hardest (we weren't strapped in, but we were bracing ourselves for the worst impact possible) we went completely weightless. it wasn't just me. the whole ship was just gliding along the ground. the smoothest landing ever.

and i still remember that feeling of weightlessness. it was weird.

no more watching battlestar galactica right before bed for me....

it's weird that todd was in my dream, though. he was such a sweetheart. and funny as hell. until we got into college and he started dating this girl, laura. damn, she was boring. and he turned into her. it was too bad... he had a great personality.

my boss is the sweetest...

my boss gave me my xmas gift... a bottle of silver oak and an amex gift card.

i want to go home and guzzle my silver oak RIGHT NOW.

the silliest movie in the world

watched the chronicles of riddick last night. it was soooo funny! not as funny as the day after tomorrow, but it was right up there on the silly factor. those one-liners ... they slayed me. as a comedy, it's not too bad. as a real action flick, it kind of sucks. a lot.

also, vin diesel can not fucking act. hollywood, please stop giving mr. vin diesel roles in movies. thank you.

went to fox sports grill last night. they're in scottsdale, irvine, seattle, west nyack, houston, and one coming in atlanta...

the bar is always fucking packed. more tvs than anyone would ever need, game room or something upstairs... good place to pick up chicks, so i've heard... apparently, a lot of girls go there to pick up on guys. it's a win-win sitch.

good thing we went to the restaurant part of it. i hate crowds. food is decent, the prices are really decent, so i can't ever figure out why the restaurant is always empty. must be because there aren't any tvs in there. just sucks that they're affiliated with the fox network.

GMAIL

they just sent me 10 invites again...

i have 9 invites left... and not 9 more friends...

that's sad...

if anyone wants a gmail account, send me an email: grace.bon@gmail.com and i'll send you an invite...

xmas gifts

i thought i was all done with xmas gifts... but then my boss' admin just gave me one. and it's really cute. it's this little PJ set from american eagle... i forget what the top says but the bottoms say "meet me under the mistletoe" ... at least it's not cameltoe... :P

at any rate, i didn't get her anything. i gotta get her something... what do i get her? gift card to sephora or mac or something? but that would mean i'd have to go to the mall. NOOOO!

alcohol? but she doesn't drink much. maybe a bottle of midori sour or something. i know she likes the girly drinks...

damn it! why did she give me something???? i'm so bad at finding gifts for people!!! i like giving them gifts, just not picking them out. especially when i don't really know them that well... well, i guess we know each other well enough for her to get me little PJs.

and i have to get them tonight because she's not in on wednesday! argh!

what to get? what to get????

the weekend...

i finally got some reading done this weekend... i said, "fuck all this shit i need to do for xmas" and just plopped down with a book and read.

i haven't had uninterrupted reading time like that in a long time. i've had the amazing adventures of kavalier & clay on my nightstand now... for 2 or 3 years and never had the time to start it. when i have thick books to read, i like to have the time to get into it... because normally, once i stop, i have a hard time picking it up again because inevitably, i'll have to start over. starting over is very discouraging to me. it's why i haven't finished playing final fantasy X or kingdom hearts. i'm so close to finishing the games, but i can't because i'm not strong enough yet so that means i have to backtrack to up my strength and such. and i hate backtracking.

at any rate, kavalier & clay was a really good read. way better than i thought it would be. it's a novel about the beginnings of 2 comic book authors. it's a really easy read... it's on the longish side (about 650 pages), but it doesn't feel like it's that long. he's really descriptive and i enjoyed it very much. even the story itself has elements of a comic book story to it. but, i think even people who aren't into comic books would really like it.

went to a xmas party on saturday night. well, it was more like a xmas get together than a party. steve has these friends. i like them. they're really low key. i don't have much in common with them, but they've always been nothing but nice to me. anyway, her best friend is... kind of... uhm... i don't know how to explain her. if you've ever watched saturday night live and watched a skit with Debbie Downer, you'll understand what she's like. everything she has to say fucking BUMS ME OUT. she's a teacher in long beach. steve and i will have to home school our children. we're frightened of teachers like that. she kinda looks like this, but not quite as purple or good-looking.

also, she is SO jealous of them. at their wedding, she was crying at the table. but not in that, "oh, i'm so happy for my BESTEST friend. i love her so much and they look so happy." more in a way like, "i feel so sorry for myself because i'm a no personality bitch. i should be getting married. oh, god. when is it my turn? it's not fair. god, i hate her, but she's the only friend i have, so i have to suck it up and be her maid of honor. i'm so going to try and seduce her husband when she's not looking because i'm a back stabbing bitch." yeah. fun times. we ended up playing trivial pursuit. god, i hate playing that game with people who have those encyclopedia games and remember everything. fuck. i lost. steve won. at least one of us did :)

sunday i finished the last couple of chapters of the book and finished pikmin 2. i earned 10,000 pokos! finally! that game is so cute. i wonder if they're going to make a pikmin 3.

watched the nightmare before christmas last night. believe it or not, i've never watched that. i knew about it... i knew all the characters (mostly from kingdom hearts)... but i never watched it. so i led a sheltered childhood. sue me. and i found out that danny elfman not only did the music for the movie, but he was the singing voice for jack skellington. interesting....

also watched casshern. interesting movie. it's live action, but they did a lot of animation on top, so it had an interesting look to it. kinda like sky captain and the world of tomorrow, it had a retro, yet futuristic look to it. (i still need to watch that, too. jude!!! i love you!!!! ) i really liked the look of it... the action scenes are pretty good, but there aren't enough of them. gets kind of heavy at the end.

i don't know if i was a little confused because sometimes the plot doesn't completely fit together or because something was lost in the translation. at any rate, the summary can be found on the imdb link above.

we opened one of the gifts i got for steve for xmas. effen vodka. the black cherry vanila flavor. apparently effen means something about being smooth or balanced. i know what effen means to me, though :P muwahahaha...

anyway, it was tasty. it has a rubberized grip on the bottle ... they claim it keeps it colder. i think it's for when you're tah-rashed, you don't drop it and break it.

finally, here is the pic of steve with a beard. the picture is a little orange because the sunset comes in through our kitchen. also, his beard looks and feels a lot thicker than the pic. weird.

giest, cece, don't fucking encourage him. thanks. :P

crazy, stupid ass people

*crap! i saved as draft instead of publishing this on saturday. :(*

read an article about this woman who was strangled to death... for her fetus. this lady breeds rat terriers or something, so she thought this other woman was coming over to buy one from her. freakin' crazy lady (known as FCL, from here on out) gets behind her, strangles her, slashes her belly laterally and takes the other lady's 8 month old fetus out... cuts the umbilical cord and takes off.

then, she calls her husband and tells her that she just gave birth. so, FCL's husband and two children drive out and meet her in some parking lot.

1. how STUPID is her husband? why would he think that child was his? and how many months pregnant did he think his wife was? do they not TALK to each other? if she was preggers, and she lost her child, don't you think she would be a LEEEEETLE bit upset? did she hide that from him as she was coming up with her diabolical plan???? what in the hell???

2. wouldn't he wonder why she wasn't in a fucking hospital? do most people in their parts just give birth in a parking lot? is that normal in the sticks or something? i didn't think so. and why wouldn't she call him before? did it just POP the fuck out?

3. how STUPID is FCL? did she think she wasn't going to get CAUGHT???? and what was she going to do when her STUPID ASS husband realized, "hey.. that last kid... don't look nuthin' like me...."

4. how desperate does one have to want a child, that instead of just trying again, you'd slash someone's body up for their child. christ, it's only 9 more months. let's see... 9 more months, or forever in jail... or the death penalty, even. let's think about this.... she's just like scott peterson. fucking morons. think shit through, people!

good. lock away more morons. jeezus christ. one less idiot for me to run into and hate.

suh-weet!

finally got me a new system. it's a tablet. it's purty. and fast.



i likee :D

and my mouse is so damned cute. it's about 3 inches long and 1 inch wide. or, the length of my middle finger and 2 fingers wide. whatever.

it's going to give me problems in the long run, i know it.

it's about time i got a new system. except the IT guy moved all my stuff over. i hate when people go into my system. makes me nervous. i like to keep my shit hidden.

i *heart* steve so much

like cece says about roy...

if steve ever tries to leave me, i'm chaining him up... except not outside because:

1. we don't have a backyard
2. i don't want him anywhere neighbors could see him... or hear him call for help.

and i will, too. i'm fucking crazy like that.

he's coming home today! yay! and he won't have internet access until he's actually back in town. so he can't read this post and stay away because he's too scared to come home. muwahahahaha...

last night's dinner went okay. i was a little uptight until i got a vodka tonic and a few glasses of wine in me. i actually have no idea how much wine i really had because they just keep on coming and pouring... maybe 2 glasses? maybe 3 or 4? who really knows? eh, no one's keeping count, anyway. i didn't get out of control or anything. wine makes me happy. it's the vodka shots that make me crazy. :P

it's probably a good thing i don't really have friends near me. we'd all turn into alcoholics. it wouldn't be pretty. dinner was fantastic. we went to antonello ristorante at south coast plaza. probably the best italian restaurant i've ever been to. (then again, we don't usually go to too many italian restaurants... even though i love italian food.) i wouldn't make steve take me there, though. kind of expensive. tasty desserts.

we had a really good wine, too. except i can't remember the name of it now. i don't think i'll ever remember. damn. we could probably find it at hi-time wine cellars (the best liquor store ever. it's your one-stop vice shop. liquor, cigarettes, cigars, candy, chocolate and tasty chocolate creations.)

so, yeah. it didn't suck. i almost had a heart attack when i saw the bill, though. i don't know why. you think i'd be used to seeing those, especially since i've been with them when they go out in vegas.

and my boss almost had a heart attack when he saw how much i ate. everyone was all mortified. "my god! you're a frickin' animal!"

hey, i never claimed to be lady-like.

i was the youngest one at the table, as usual. "what? you were born in 1977??? i just graduated from college!" one of the few times i feel young again. heh... not that i think i'm old. just every once in a while, i feel like i shouldn't be 27 already. i feel like i should be... i dunno. younger, damn it!

i told the boss how i'd been with him now for 4 years now. "shit! i gave you the best years of my life!!!" funny that i've known him longer and i probably spend more time with him than i do with steve. not ha ha funny. weird funny.

i got home and got a message on my phone. i was all buzzed and my phone says i missed a call from nina! so i called her back. and as the phone rang, i realized that she's one hour ahead. oops. :( i felt so bad.... we had a nice conversation... i missed her. she's really funny... you know how funny she is on her blog? well, multiply that by 10, at least... she was killing me....

she wanted to know what to get steve. i wish i had a good answer for her. shit, i don't even know what to get steve. this is going to be the worst xmas for him ever :( i only got him a few things... i dunno. it drives me insane that whenever he wants something, he just goes out and buys it. he doesn't leave me anything good to get him for xmas. see, nina? he's not perfect. he is a pain in my ass at xmas time.

Best of 2004

and i know everyone's going to be doing a "best of 2004" list... but that's okay. i'm unoriginal. so fuck off. :P

they are in no particular order because i couldn't choose a #1 out of each category. i really tried to keep the lists short... but i just couldn't for some of the categories....

Best TV Shows:
LOST
The Simpsons
Battlestar Galactica (coming out in 2005 for the rest of the US)
honorable mention has to go to Pornucopia for having the the name that makes me giggle. okay. i changed my mind. honorable mention goes to Long Way Round because i *heart* ewan mcgregor.

Best Video Games:
Pikmin 2
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door
Halo 2

Music:
Air: Talkie Walkie
Roni Size: Return to V
De La Soul: The Grind Date
Andy C: Nightlife 2
DJ Green Lantern: New York State of Mind
Bjork: Medulla (fucking blew my tiny little mind)

Best Concerts:
Ursula Rucker
Beastie Boys at LBC
Coachella in it's entirety (RADIOHEAD, the cure, air... and the list goes on and on!)

Foreign Flicks:
Shaun of the Dead
Appleseed
House of Flying Daggers
Oldboy (although, this movie may have come out in 2003. i can't remember now.)
honorable mention has to go to Taeguki: The Brotherhood of War because they're my people. :P okay, and one more for La Mala Educacion for Pedro Almodovar and Gael Garcia Bernal. *meow*

Movies:
Napoleon Dynamite
Shrek 2
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
honorable mention goes to Mean Girls because i love Tina Fey.

Movies I Thought I Would Hate, But I Liked:
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
Van Helsing
13 going on 30
honorable mention has to go to Elf because it's that season. (even if it came out in 2003)

Movies I Thought I Would Like, But I Hated:
The Terminal
Home on the Range
The Day After Tomorrow

Movies I NEED to see:
The Incredibles
Closer
I ♥ Huckabees
mmm, Jude Law. (jeanette, are you happy i finally used the ♥. you're pushy. :P)
honorable mention has to go to Team America: World Police. (i still can't believe i haven't seen it yet.)

Comic Books I *Heart*:
Blue Monday
Bone (i swear it's not dirty. it's really good. i promise.)
Y: The Last Man

i'm sure i'm forgetting a lot of shit... but i have a bad memory. sue me.

*(blogger note: cripes, i hope all the links are linked to the right shit. damn.)

stupid santa ana winds

i think they're the santa anas, at least... i'm wearing a long skirt today, so that wasn't helping. it was catching all the wind and i barely made it from my car to the door. seriously! that's a strong wind.

either that, or i REALLY need to start going back to the gym.

tonight's our xmas dinner. we don't have a company xmas party or anything like that, so every year (except for last year) our boss takes some people out. i'm not really social or anything, so these events are always a little bit painful for me. until i suck down that first glass of wine! hehe. well, even then it's uncomfortable.

i wish i could be one of those people who could just mingle and not feel all self-conscious about it.

it was so gross... last night i had to change the bunny's litter. it SMELLED so bad. i wanted to retch. usually steve does that. he's a good hubby. i let the bunny in for a bit and she went straight to the corner with the diaper (one of those bed liners for people who pee in their beds) and peed. a LOT.

so i changed that out and put out another one. she went back to it and peed a lot. again. and pooped all over it. i was like, "god, you're so weird!" and i called steve to tell him about it and he told me that i needed to change out the litter.

oh, yeah. forgot about that. i went outside to retrieve it and it was FULL of poop and pee. it was so damned heavy. *shudder* thank god those poops are just little pellets. i don't think i could ever have a dog or anything. those poops are like human poops. ew.

and do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to go into sav-on and buy a big ol' bag of those bed wetting diaper pads? i hate doing that. stupid bunny. one of these days i'm going to run into someone i know. *cringe*

and it's sad that the highlight of my night was cleaning out the bunny's litter. at least i got to play pikmin.

mmm, chocolate

i could seriously go for some chocolate right now. i don't even care what kind at this point. but i guess i don't want it that bad because i'm too lazy to go to the vending machines to get it.

i guess it's good that i'm lazy. i'm just gonna pig out on frozen mini snickers bars when i get home. i love putting chocolate in the freezer and eating them frozen.

on an unrelated note, i'm not going to give in to the temptation! i'm not shaving steve's beard off. i'm drawing the line at nagging :P i really should stop, though. i'm just giving him more reason to not shave it...

i mean, when i quit smoking for him, he didn't nag me.

but, god! a clean-shaven face would make a great xmas present :P

why the fuck not?

i'm bored so i'm going to bite off of nina and LE...

Favorite Christmas Movie: it's a wonderful life (i'm a sap, i know)
Favorite Christmas Television show: i didn't get to watch tv as a kid. and we don't have tv now.
Favorite Christmas Song: no song. but my favorite xmas album is the ella fitzgerald xmas album.
Favorite Christmas Food: the mini-reese's that come in that candy cane plastic tube. okay, any chocolate that comes in a candy cane plastic tube.
Most Hated Christmas Movie: i don't think i have one...
Most Hated Christmas Song: feliz navidad
Most Hated Christmas Food: i've never had fruitcake, so i don't have a most hated food.
Favorite Christmas quirk people indulged me on: well, shit. my list is turning out to be fucking boring.
Favorite place I ever celebrated Christmas: son of a bitch! i suck!
Favorite Holiday Decoration: our kissy snowflake :) we didn't have mistletoe, but we had this 3-D snowflake that we hung up...
Favorite Person to spend the holiday with: steve, of course :P
Favorite person to shop for: and steve, of course :) he's usually pretty easy with his amazon wishlist. unfortunately, he only had like 5 items on there this year. rat bastard. so i had to use my "imagination."
Most annoying Christmas habit: not taking a shower. well, it's annoying for everyone else who has to deal with my unwashed hair and body.
Favorite Christmas bonus: getting steve something he's not expecting and seeing his reaction... oh, and staying in my p.j.'s all day (ditto)... and no work for a few days. woot!

why i make a bad call girl

last night i drove out to see steve. i was pretty irritable because i hit traffic on the 91E. i know there's supposedly always traffic on it... but it was 7:30. jeezus people. go home! or go home earlier! what the hell is wrong with these people? there are so many fucking people on the road... and then it would clear up for 2 minutes and then start again. why? where are you people fucking going???? why do you live out in bumblefuck? get a job out in bumblefuck. holy...

either that or there were a shitload of people going out for a booty call. who knows.

at any rate, here are a few reasons why i make a bad call girl...

1. i don't do sexy. i really tried. i had my hair done like a porn star, my shiny lipstick on, i even had lingerie on under the coat i was wearing... high ass heels... but i got there and all i could think about was food... "i'm hungry." steve raises his eyebrows... and i say, "no. for food." talk about a mood killer.

2. i can't watch porn without a "wtf" look on my face. there was this show on. it wasn't really porn. it was called ... wait for it... "pornucopia"... kind of a documentary about porn, if you will. it was kind interesting and entertaining. in case you're wondering, we weren't watching it to make us hot and horny. it was just on. also, how can you not watch a show called pornucopia????

3. i don't take money. steve offered to give me gas money and i turned him down. what the fuck? i'd never make any money...

4. i'd always be late. not because i'm primping, but because i'd get lost. i had the easiest directions ever yesterday and i missed my exit to the 215. the 91 TURNS INTO the 215 for chrissakes. in my defense, there were quite a few cars there. i was in the fast lane and i needed to be all the way to the right to exit 215S. i ended up on 215N. i had to exit and turn around. what a pain in the ass.

5. i can't stay looking "sexy" for more than 15 minutes. after 15 minutes, i just want to take off my shoes, put my hair up in a ponytail and eat pizza.

yeah... HEY. i found one thing that i like about steve's beard. uhm, 'nuff said.

this morning, driving back on the 91W was pretty scary. all these people that drive it every day... damn, they're just taking their lives in their hands! it's only a matter of time before you get into an accident. seriously. i only saw one today, but i could see how there would be quite a few every day.

just too many cars... and jesus forbid i should leave half a car length between me and the car in front of me! any car in the next lane over would start pushing their way in. why? what's the fucking point? and every time that would happen, my lane would completely stop. that's what they get, assholes.

and what's with the slamming of the brakes? they get a few hundred feet and they gun it... WHERE THE FUCK DO THEY THINK THEY'RE GOING TO GO? and then they'd just SLAM on their brakes. i'd try not to follow them too closely, and then the car behind me would start tailgating me so i'd try to maintain some distance in front and in back of me... and as soon as i did that, another car would squeeeeze in there. fuck. i knew i should've driven home last night.

the only thing i miss about a morning commute is the music i'd listen to. last night and this morning, i was listening to deck safari. (by air) i was listening to it this morning and i was thinking, god, it's so fucking eclectic. on the link it says it's a 2 cd set, but my mp3 said there were 4 parts. so i dunno. i was thinking it was like their ultimate mix tape or something. but, i guess these songs were all part of their personal cd collection and these songs all inspired their album, moon safari, which is my favorite album of theirs.

at any rate, some of the songs are full songs, others are just parts of songs, like when you watch those commercials for cd collections and they play bits of songs. it was kinda like that. at any rate, if you love air, you will probably love this cd.

man, i'm TIRED. i didn't sleep well last night... maybe because i wasn't used to the bed or the pillow. and i kept on kicking steve. so i guess he didn't sleep well either. :( oops. i woke up at least 2 times when i heard him say, "ow!" sorry, baby :(

and i'm the worst bunny momma ever :( i got home, got her breakfast out (parsley, cilantro, lettuce, kale, carrots, celery... damn, she's spoiled) ... and i went to the sliding door like always. i opened the door, and she ran towards me. i opened the screen door and she jumped over the wooden board we keep there. that thing has got to be like 2 feet high. she was so freaked out :( and she was spazzing out all over the place. i had to pet her for half an hour before she was calm again. and then i put her back out so she could eat her breakfast and instead of devouring it like she normally does, she was eating it slowly and then she'd come back to the door... and just look at me like, "mommy :( why did you leave me? :(" it was so sad.

guess we can't leave her home alone anymore. needy little brat.

2 more hours...

until i can leave this hellhole. i can't wait to see steve. i just want to ... uhm, never mind.

so, he didn't shave his beard last weekend again. and since he's not at home this week, there's no way in hell he's shaving... the last time he shaved was 11/19. we're working on 4 weeks here. eep.

i'm not praying to the baby jesus anymore. he doesn't give a shit about me and the rugburns on my face. i'll try santa next.

dear santa:
all i want for xmas is for steve to shave his facial hair off. i've been very, very good. okay, fine. i haven't been very, very good. but i haven't been HORRIBLE. doesn't that count for something?
thanks, i owe you one.
g

i was talking to a friend last night for a bit and she said, " you know, reading your blog... it really seems like you really, really hate your job."

"i really, really do hate my job."
"why don't you quit?"
"i know this going to sound stupid, but, it's because of my boss."

i can't quit because i like my boss. so not only am i afraid that if i apply elsewhere they will reject me, but i'm afraid that my boss will be upset with me if i quit. which, really makes no sense at all because if i quit, it's not like i'm ever going to see him again. so, why would it matter if he was upset with me? at any rate, being rejected is only a tiny part of it. it's not the main reason why i don't leave.

and if for some reason, one day he should quit, would he even care that i was still here? well, one thing's for certain... the day he leaves, i'm out of here. he's pretty much the only reason why i'm still here.

guess i don't have loyalty tattooed on my back for nothing.

dream last night

i was visiting my bro at his school. we were on top of this snow covered hill... all of a sudden, he disappeared and i looked over the edge of this hill (which was looking more like a cliff) and then i slipped and fell... all the way to the bottom. i hit rocks and trees on the way down so i was all bruised up. i stood up and instead of wearing the big red jacket i was wearing when i was on the top of the hill, i was wearing a white tank top and white shorts. really short shorts. and i could see all the bruises.

i stood up and i was at my college. it didn't look like my college, but somehow, i just knew it was my college. i had to take a piss, so i went to the toilet, which was in the room. there was no door. and there was a big window. i could see out. i'm guessing the other side was a mirror or something because no one was really looking in or anything. and then i see people coming down the hill and somehow i know they're coming into my room. also, somehow, i just know it's a boys dorm. so i'm trying to hurry, but i can't pee. i mean, it's barely just trickling out...

so there i am, all exposed and as soon as the door opens, i wake up. come on! if that really happened, i would've stopped it mid-stream and gotten dressed. why am i so retarded in my dreams?

stupid seller at amazon

i bought a book as one of steve's xmas presents. it said that it was in very good condition. when i got it, it wasn't in very good condition. i mean, i wouldn't have listed that book as being in very good condition. maybe "fair" or "fine" or whatever their rating system is.... the color on the cover was kind of worn off, the back cover had a crease in the corner, that they'd so nicely straightened out for me... and it's so worn out.

so i sent the bitch an email and she basically just told me that if i don't want it, send it back. and it's too bad that my definition of "very good" is different from hers. the thing is, she wasn't necessarily rude about it. but I WANT HER TO KISS MY GODDAMNED ASS!

i've never had a bad experience with an amazon seller before...

so i'm kind of in a bind. she shipped it fast, but the book was in the wrong condition. do i give her a really bad rating? or an average one?

and why is it that some people, when they complain, get everything they ask for and then some. and when i complain, i get nothing. sheesh.

not that i really know what i want. it's not that i want the book for free. or anything like that. just an apology. is that too much to ask for? jeezus christ.

i mean, i checked the seller's rating before i bought it... 4.7 stars out of 5... not bad, right?

so, if you buy from amazon, don't purchase from booksdirect2u.com that's all i can say... i'm still thinking about the rating....

lesson #537

if for some reason you need to sneeze whilst shaving your legs, take the razor off your leg before it happens.

ouch. stupid, stupid, stupid.

day 2 without steve. i'm going through withdrawls. i may have to go visit him... he is only an hour away. i mean, when we were just dating, i would've gone to see him, even if i was tired... why would it be any different, right?

things i like about him not being home:
i can use all the hot water in the morning and not feel bad.
i can eat A LOT of kimchee at night and not feel bad that i'm all stinky.
i can fart whenever i feel like it.
i can giggle after i fart and not feel like a retard (especially because i'm laughing all by myself).
i don't have to go to the gym.
i can be as messy as i wanna be.
i have time to open all the xmas gifts and carefully retape them. (just kidding, steve. hehehe)

things i don't like about him being gone:
no lunchtime hugs and kisses.
no movies (believe me, if you saw all the wiring in our house, you wouldn't know how to watch a movie, either).
i have to squeegee the shower walls after showering.
i have to clean out the bunny's litter.
no one's home to scratch my back before i go to sleep (and i don't like those wooden back scratchy thingies).
it seems colder at home, even with the heater on.
the bunny won't come inside when he's not home.
no belly kisses.

there's more, but i'm too busy to finish my list...

GOD, i'm needy. hehe.

msn messenger (beta)

my boss just downloaded the latest messenger for msn. i typically use msn messenger at work... when i remember to log in.

he's going nuts with all the new things. i'll get like 3 or 4 "winks" in a row... and "nudges"

nudges make me want to throw up a little bit. it's like the "buzz" in yahoo messenger. makes the screen all shaky.

they've got this weird thing, though where some of the smileys and winks and such, you have to pay for. who the fuck is going to pay for them? they're insane.

ahhh, a night of solitude for me. leftovers for dinner, books to read, pikmin to play. not enough time!!!!

just another manic monday...

i feel like a lardass. i tried baking again on saturday. made another apple pie (thank god for those refrigerated crusts) and a chocolate cake. i kinda fucked it up. they were edible, at least.

fuck baking. stupid baking....

i've been swamped since i walked in the door this morning... and steve is out of town this week :(

it's not like he's far away or anything, but i still miss him. i'm too used to having him around, i guess. alone time is nice, but ... i dunno. *sigh* for some reason i miss him more than usual today.

maybe because work's sucking and i need a noon hug and kiss :(

last night i went to church with steve and his mom. it was the kid's christmas program.... it was so cute! for about 5 minutes. ya know, when your own kid's not involved and you're just watching a bunch of tone deaf, untalented kids putting on some skit, it's just not that interesting.

there was one boy who ... looked like he was a handful at home. just spazzing out all over the stage. and two of the girls looked like they watch too much britney at home. they're all shaking their hips and stuff... yeah... nothing like watching a bunch of 9 year olds shakin' their money makers.

what i thought was weird was, there were about 40 kids and only about 10 of them were boys. so many girls! in 10, 15 years, these girls are all going to be fighting each other for the affection of one of those boys. sad. like girls aren't catty and petty enough already.

i feel like eeyore today. guess it's another case of the monday blues.

good news, though... i'm not cooking xmas dinner anymore. i only wanted to do it to take a load off of steve's aunt. but i guess she's pretty set on doing it. woohoo! i just have to bring over one dish.

i think i will still have my family over on xmas eve, though. which will be nice because i won't have to make a turkey... oh, and we can now have kimchee on the dinner table, too :P hehe. mmmm, kimchee.... oh! and i can use my disposable dishes. hehehe.

so much pressure's off me now that his family won't be there. phew. i was really freaked out about the whole thing...

cripes. back to work for me :(

F R I D A Y

i feel a lot better now...

it was pretty shitty for a while, but it's okay. i feel like i can breathe now...

also, it's almost officially the weekend.

i have xmas shit to do:
wrap gifts
do xmas cards
finish buying xmas gifts
wrap those gifts
practice baking a cake
ship gifts out

i still need to:
get my car washed
take clothes to dry cleaners
clean bunny's ... uhm. stuff...
vacuum
clean in general

i'll be lucky if i just get the xmas cards and the gift wrapping done. i just want to sleep, eat, shit, play pikmin. not necessarily in that order.

steve's going to be gone all next week... i'm a little sad :( but on the up side, i'll be able to wrap his gifts in secret... nosey little bastard. :P

i love when my boss gets little gifts from his customers. he usually gives them to me. mmm. cheeses and chocolates and other random tastiness for me :D

happy weekend! :)

today is shite

i can't even begin to explain how much today sucks ass.

it's 3:30. and i can't stay late tonight. i have babysitting duties. christ.

is it xmas yet? i need the time off.

on the happy side, we watched dodgeball last night. it was pretty effin' funny. i decided that i like ben stiller better when he's playing over the top characters like zoolander or the guy in this movie than when he's playing the normal guy like in there's something about mary.

i didn't know that christine taylor and ben stiller were married... man, she looks like marcia. i didn't know she played marcia in the brady bunch movie until last night.

oh, and btw, you will NEVER hear that song "milkshake" the same way again...

fuck me. back to work.

I AM A SUCKER

i think i may have this tattooed on my forehead. and if i don't have one there already, i should just get it done and over with...

last night, this cute little boy came by selling magazine subscriptions. steve was at the gym. shit. i knew i should've gone to the gym... but i was cooking dinner. so, he comes by, gives me the sell... and i buy it.

i got ripped off. of course.

why couldn't it have been an ugly obnoxious kid that came over??? then i probably wouldn't have had a problem telling him i wasn't interested. but he was so charming and cute. god, i hate that kid. if i ever see him in my neighborhood, i'm going to... probably do nothing and scurry off.

i sent off a cancellation letter today. i hope he doesn't know it was me. fuck, why do i even care???

just one more reason why we can't have kids. i will never be able to say no to them and they'll turn out to be little spoiled brats.

steve, you may want to get me a "no solicitors" sign for our front door. i'm going to need it next week when you're gone.

there's nothing worse than listening to co-workers discuss movies. or anything pop culture for that matter.

don't get me wrong. i can't remember titles of movies, quotes from movies, actors and actresses names, etc... but i can tell the difference between a good movie and a bad movie....

and another thing, don't fucking ask me my opinion on movies you want to see if you already have a preconceived notion of it... and you're just going to look at me with a sneer on your face and tell me that i'm weird. what, i'm weird because i DON'T think tom cruise is good looking? or because i think he's overrated? because i'm not a big fan of george clooney? because i have no desire to see jennifer lopez and richard gere dance in some stupid ass movie? because i think "closer" will be a good movie? because i watch anime? because i HAVEN'T read the da vinci code or anything by sue grafton? OH. and just because i've not read the da vinci code, it doesn't mean i don't fucking read. OH. and another thing... just because "closer" has infidelities in it... it doesn't mean i want to cheat on steve. jesus christ.

when "i am sam" was out, i overheard someone say, "i am sam was the best indie flick i've ever seen." for the last time, people, "i am sam" is NOT an indie flick! fuck sean penn! he's fucking overrated, too. and i'm sorry... bill murray should've gotten the oscar, NOT him.

i have to deal with these uncultured pricks every day.

and i get my earbuds untangled finally, and my fucking cd player in my computer doesn't work right now. shit! internet radio... must find... good station....

leftovers for lunch

i love having leftovers for lunch... especially today....

steve brought home some thai green curry from trader joe's. christ, how i love that store. you can pick up anything off their shelves and you never have to worry that it might taste bad. the only bad thing about it is if not enough people buy something, they'll stop carrying it... but i guess it's not such a bad thing. makes more room for more tastiness...

they have this great basmati rice milk. i was a little concerned at first... i mean, it just sounds wrong. but it's really good... you can also pick up good beer and wine there for cheap. besides that charles shaw. i HATE that "wine." it's such shit! i won't go into that again, though.

if i ever get fired for the shit i say on my site about work, i'm applying to work there...

the simple life 2: drinking game

last night, we got disc 1 of the simple life 2. i think nicole is funny as fuck... paris on the other hand, well, let's just say she's not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

at any rate, steve and i were drinking (lightly, i swear) and so we started taking a drink each time paris or nicole said "that's hot" or "loves it" or "do you love it?" boy... that adds up.

since i'm a lightweight, i didn't do a shot each time like we were planning on doing, i just took a sip of my drink. but, anyone who knows steve, knows he makes some strong ass drinks...

i was SO buzzed... i only remember some of what i was saying last night... and it was something like:

meh... where'd my other bunny slipper go? can you kiss my belly? oh, and scratch my back? oh, i have a knot in my shoulder. it's a knotty knot. hehehe. knotty. hehehe. sounds like naughty. hehehe. i only want you to do 3 things for me tonight. yeah. can you get me some water? can you find my bunny slipper? oooh, those christmas tree lights are pretty. KISS MY BELLY!

i don't know what my fascination with belly kisses was yesterday. but that damned beard was tickling me. i'm ticklish. it sucks.

steve thinks i'm crazy. or as he likes to say, "i KNOW you're crazy."

at any rate, i woke up and i had bags under my eyes. i don't know if this is true, but this girl at work told me that if i drink a lot of water before i go to sleep, i'll get bags under my eyes. i'm starting to believe her. it seems to happen every time. maybe it's all psychosomatic. but i had to drink water. i was thirsty. something about heavy breathing makes me thirsty :P muwahaha...

the world's BEST bad movie!!!!

revenge of the ninja (1983). we caught the last half hour or so in melbourne. we couldn't figure out what the movie was because we missed the credits somehow.

anyway, it kicks so much ass!

bad acting, bad plot, bad screenplay.

but, god it's just SO bad that it's oh, so good...

the basic premise is a man and his son (who's only like 8 years old) are being chased for some reason by some guys... anyway, whatever. who needs a plot??? they kick much ass. and that's all that matters. i need to purchase this dvd.

disclaimer: if you're looking for a real ninja flick, don't watch this one.

happy, shiny people

piss me the fuck off...

there's this guy at work, who is always trying to chat me up. he passes my desk EVERY FUCKING DAY at least 4 times... coming into the office, going to lunch, coming back from lunch, and leaving the office. sometimes, i get lucky and he has to walk by my desk for various meetings, etc.

every time, he has to say something to me. and it can't just be "hi, how're you?"

he will stop. look at me for a few seconds and say, "you look different. did you do something to your hair?" or "what's the matter? are you okay?" "awwww, it can't be THAT bad!"

for your fucking information, happy smiley guy, i didn't do anything different, nothing's the matter, and YES it can fucking be THAT bad.

today he stopped, looked at me... and said, "you didn't do anything to your hair!" ha ha. fucking funny.

i know he's just a friendly guy. and he does it to everyone. but why does he always feel the need to try to "cheer me up" when he thinks i'm down? fuck! let me wallow in my fucking misery!

and when i'm moody, i for sure don't want to have to fake a smile just to make him go away.

call me stuck up, call me what you will, but i am NOT in the mood for this bullshit...

AND FUCK! someone's got some stupid jingly noisemaking thingie that's playing "deck the halls" ... on fucking repeat. my xmas spirit just went away completely.

dear baby jesus...

please make steve shave his beard off this weekend. please? i'll even go to church on sunday, if you do. i know, it's silly to try and make deals with you, but i'm desperate. ...

we're going on 3 weeks now... and it's hurting my face. rugburns on faces are never pretty. i know he mentioned to his friends that it was probably coming off this weekend... but i need a guarantee. he said "maybe" last weekend, too.

and why did you let my dad tell steve that it looked good. why???? do you hate me? is it because i don't tithe, go to church, read the bible or pray? i swear, i'll go this weekend. as for everything else, well... baby steps, jesus. baby steps.

oh, and while you're at it, please make sure that the beardoff never happens again. please?

amen.

the voices in my head

i am feeling... i dunno. blah.

i'm fucking moody. dunno why.

i feel like there's a lot of noise in my head. this cacophonous roar... it's not like i have voices talking to me, really... it's just more like lots of voices... uhm, making lots of noise. making it difficult to think. i can't keep anything straight right now.

i realize this is probably making me sound crazy right now.... whatthefuckever. i feel kind of like i'm out of control... not doing crazy shit. but more like ... aw, fuck it. i can't explain. i am losing my goddamned mind.

i know i'm stressed out because my left eye has not stopped twitching since i woke up this morning. it's kind of unnerving, as well. and steve said i was grinding my teeth last night in my sleep... yeah. something's up. i just don't know what yet.

had my last cooking class last night. it was nice. learned how to make the tastiest chocolate cake i've ever had... not too sweet.... i don't know if i should even attempt to make it, though. i am the world's worst baker. i've accepted it. embraced it, even.

this lady brought over bottles of wine for the class to share. nice gesture. however, it was charles shaw. just LOOKING at that wine gives me a headache. nothing gives me a worse headache than bad wine. i wouldn't even use charles shaw for cooking, let alone drinking.

go ahead. call me a wine snob. steve does it all the time. there are decent cheap wines out there, people. don't resort to drinking charles shaw and 2 buck chuck. for chrissakes! that shit will make you go BLIND! BLIND, I TELL YOU! it's like drinking popov vodka. just don't do it!

anyway, i can't help it that i went to school in wine country, now can i? so i was spoiled. sue me. i just can't get myself to drink shit. that's where i learned to drink wine and love it. oh, and the food there is so fantabulous. i miss it. steve doesn't see the allure of it. fine. whatever. call me a snob again and call it a day.

(and for the record, even though steve calls me a wine snob, he can't stomach charles shaw, either... and that man can drink ANYTHING.... so if you haven't tried it, ignore the hype. it's BAD. BAD. BAD.)

anyway, i think she may have been an alcoholic, though because she poured herself several FULL glasses. it's highly likely that she finished off a whole bottle by herself in less than 2 hours. what a lush. i wish i could handle my liquor like that.

at least i have an oatmeal creme pie for breakfast.

i just want to stay home and play pikmin 2 all day. is that so wrong? i almost have all 10,000 pokos...

i fucking hate my job. i hate these people. i hate their stupid fucking fake smiles.... i want to beat everyone. with a fucking baseball bat and a letter opener. those would be my weapons of choices. mostly because they're readily available. don't ask me why someone here has a baseball bat. i think it's here for me to beat other people with.

o, christmas tree....

here are some of my favorite ornaments...


i love stitch... and i love how he looks all petrified that he's getting a kiss... stitch reminds me of a little koala. a fuzzy blue koala. or a wombat. cute! :D


eeyore's got a liiiiitle candy addiction... he's my favorite pooh character.


rudolph! i don't think i need to say more...


and this really could be my favorite ornament... a fuzzy stitch.


mashimaro is our little star atop our tree...


and here's our tree... yes, it's little, but it has a lot of heart. for a fake tree, that is...

gmail kicks ass. sort of.

gmail used to be my only email account that i never got spam on. it was sweet!

stupid ass me told a friend the other day how i never get spam on my gmail account.

the next fucking day, i started getting spam in there. son of a bitch! why'd i open my stupid fucking mouth about it????

the last couple of days i've gotten 56 pieces of spam. what the fuck is that??? christ. i've already got a hotmail account, yahoo account, aol account, work account, and a couple of other accounts that i never check anymore.

how the fuck do those spammers find me????

don't make me open another account... *whimper*

how to dismantle an atomic bomb

finally got around to watching that SNL episode with luke wilson i *heart* him (leave me alone, jeanette... i'm html illiterate) and u2.

that was some funny ass shit... and btw, i want to have a threesome with the wilson brothers. i'll settle for just one, though. and then afterwards we can have a champagne brunch and i'll laugh and laugh because they're just so cute and funny...

uhmmmm... oh, yes. the post.

i forgot that i'd given u2's newest album a spin. i didn't think it was spectacular. i have every single one of u2's albums, but i wouldn't really consider myself a huge fan. but i do like them a lot.

i even like the in between albums when they didn't really sound like u2, like zooropa and pop.

sadly, they will never have another album like joshua tree ever again.

on the up side, though, this album sounds like u2... but not so much that it doesn't sound distinctive. (REM, anyone?)

i'm not sure if i want to give it another listen or if i want to never listen to it again. not that i dislike it. i just wasn't blown away. i guess i should give it another spin... everyone else seems to love it so... i have to find out what the appeal is.

APPLESEED

now, this was a fun, kickass movie... i didn't see the original or read the manga on which this is based, so i don't know how close the movie adaptation is to the manga.

it's set in the future. the main character, deunan knute, is the key to preventing the human rebel group from destroying the peaceful society that was created on olympus with the bioroids (manmade humans). oh, she's also this kickass soldier.

at any rate, there are some flaws in the story line... so i couldn't like it more, but i really did enjoy it. the technical aspects of this movie are just gorgeous. beautiful movie. great fighting scenes. i'm going to say 4 stars...

steve told me that the guy who wrote the original manga (masamune shirow) is also the creator of ghost in the shell. that manga influenced the wachowski brothers in the making of the matrix.

how's that for kickass?

i wish i was cool enough to be a geek... steve's geek friends (i just *heart* them) are starting a movie club. i might not be cool enough to join, but at least i have the connections to watch the flicks! yes! i *heart* steve! :) he's my connection to the cool geek guys and i'm his connection into the asian clubs with the skanks :P what a fabulous relationship we have. hehe.

my daddy *updated*

so, i finished my second presentation for today so i thought i'd fuck around...

was looking at our australia pics again and i remembered something my dad said to me when they dropped by on saturday night...

"steve takes good pictures of you. you could be a model! boy, if people only saw your pictures, they'd think you were cute or something!"

thanks, daddy!

i love my daddy, though... even though he says fucked up shit. hmmm... i wonder who i take after :P

he used to introduce me to his friends, "this is grace, the ugly daughter."

i know (or i think i know. hehe) that he used to say that because he wanted to hear them say how cute i was and stuff... "no, no... your daughter's not ugly! how could you say such things to her!" because if he said, "this is grace, my cute daughter." they would think, "oh, god. he only thinks she's cute because she's his daughter..."

yeah. so in his own fucked up way, he was fishing for compliments...

one time this one friend (who was all into psychology and shit) was so mortified and gave my dad such a verbal beating... that my dad actually felt bad... made me come back down the stairs and asked me in front of the guy if he was making me feel bad... that was worse than him telling his friends that i'm ugly. heh...

my dad's the best, though. even if he does depend on me a little too much...

***and an update... my dad emailed me and he asked me for a favor. and he'd buy me a big dinner next time i see him.
me: i don't need a big dinner... don't worry about it...
dad: why? are you on a diet? you don't need to be on a diet. because guys like fat girls... not like obese. but fat. like you.

holy god. the man's going to give me a complex!***

how many times....

do i need to rant about people talking to you in the bathroom until people stop it????

i went to the restroom and this girl starts chatting me up. first starting with "how's your weekend" then talking about work... i'm trying to take a piss over here. when there was finally a pause long enough, i slipped into the stall... and she's still fucking talking to me....

i was silent...
girl: grace?
me: uhm... are you still talking to me?
girl: yeah...
me: uhm... can you talk to me later when i'm out of the bathroom?
girl: oh, yeah. sure! no problem!
me: thanks...

and then she waited for me. what the fuck? this is at LEAST the third time i've ranted about this and the problem is just NOT getting better... what makes people think it's socially acceptable to talk to you when you're trying to take care of your business...

it's already embarrassing going to the bathroom because you can practically SEE INSIDE the stall when you're in it! when i'm in a stall, i can see people CLEARLY. i know who has walked into the restroom after me... GOD! i hate our bathrooms at work.

on a lighter note... the best part about the rain yesterday?

it was the orange county marathon yesterday. muwahahahahahaha!

just thinking about all of those runners in the cold rain makes me giggle.

it's monday already????

feels like the weekend just started :(

what the fuck is this white shit on my sweater? i just got it back from the dry cleaners and the sleeve has this white shit on the end. looks like dried spunk. not that i would know what that looks like, i always wash it off really fast ;P muwahaha... anyway, it's fucking gross.

nothing too exciting this weekend...

friday night went to my cousin's... now, i'm sure this is going to make me sound like a freak and/or an idiot, but i didn't know that you're not supposed to put regular dishwashing liquid in the dishwasher. my mom almost never used the dishwasher and we never use it at home. i don't know. makes me feel like the dishes aren't really clean unless i handwash them.

i don't think it would be a good idea to even use ours now... the tubes are probably all dried and cracked...

at any rate, my cousin was almost out of cascade. so we just put in a TINY bit of dishsoap. i assumed it would bubble up a bit, so she only put in a LITTLE bit...

holy christ. it was pouring out of the dishwasher...



i know the picture is small, but... the one squatting is my cousin... i've got my jeans rolled up... and all of the white on the ground? those are suds. it was like a bubbly ass waterfall...

and steve very kindly came by and took a picture... while he was laughing at us.

jerk.

so yeah. that was... uhm. fun... sure.

watched elf. what a fun movie! i didn't think i wanted to watch it. i mean, i do like will ferrell and all, but i dunno. it hadn't really appealed to me. but i found it to be really cute.... i kept on cracking myself up on the ride to work this morning thinking about parts in the movie... i'm going to say it's a 4 outta 5...

had a listen to collision course, the linkin park/jay-z collaboration EP. it's less of a collaboration than it is just a mash of their songs. they did a good job combining their songs together... if you're looking for something original stay away from it. only good if you're a hardcore linkin park and jay-z fan. you can't be a fan of just one of them. i'm not exactly a hardcore fan of either so i was just kind of annoyed by the whole thing.

i baked a pie for the first time in my life. let's just say i'm going to buy pies from now on. look, no one told me i needed to put butter on the bottom of the pan. sheesh. i tried making the crust (which had a lot of butter in it) but i botched it up. so i bought one of those pillsbury refrigerated ready-made crusts... but i guess it didn't have much butter in it. so had i not botched up the crust, it probably wouldn't have needed the butter. oh, never mind. i've decided. i hate baking.

stupid fucking pies.

what else, what else.... steve made me breakfast on saturday morning :) yay! i slept in so late on saturday morning... oh and sunday, too. i almost never sleep in. i slept in until about 9 or so on saturday and until 11 on sunday. crazy. usually i'm up by at least 7 or 7:30 on weekends...

OH! and we put up our christmas tree. now it really feels like xmas. it didn't feel like it at all because it just seemed to be too early for xmas. it just crept up on me... so, we listened to ella fitzgerald sing the christmas songs and we decorated the tree... i started my xmas shopping... i'm almost done. woohoo!

already looking forward to the next weekend, even though i don't think we have anything planned...

LOST

another post about lost...

i *heart* that show... i just watched last wednesday's episode at lunch...

good god!!!! i couldn't stop saying to steve, "OH, SNAP! OH, SNAP!"

is it weird that he and i carpool to work and have lunch together (just about) every day? everyone i say that to replies, "oh, god... i could never do that! i love my husband (or wife) but, i need time away from him (or her)!"

i never feel like i get sick of him. i get the feeling that sometimes he might get sick of me, but he never says anything to me... maybe it's because we're still newlyweds (according to jeanette's definition... i mean, we do it doggie style at least 6 times a week. KIDDING! :P hehehe...)

at any rate, i just drank a bottle of sierra mist. it's the closest thing our cafeteria has to ginger ale or sprite... i couldn't eat my turkey sandwich, though. the smell of turkey was making me feel even more nauseated. and that's never good. i actually took a bite and had to spit it out. i did eat a few baby carrots and a tastykake. mmmm. tastykake.

i never drink soda. right now, i can't stop burping. i've always wanted to learn how to burp LOUD... it just never seems to work for me. what am i doing wrong????

UGH

why am i nauseated? i thought maybe it was because i was hungry. (i get sick when i'm hungry.)

so i ate 3 animal crackers... i almost puked just now. i barely choked it down. i should probably take a sip of some water or some tea right now, but just thinking about ingesting something else is making me feel even sicker.

and NO, i'm not prego so shut the fuck up.

i have 5 animal crackers left. do i eat them? oh, god... maybe i need to eat them. maybe i'm just sicker than normal because i was TOO hungry...

maybe i should go to the bathroom and purge myself of the three animal crackers and the tea i had this morning...

why???

why do i get so many email solicitations from "christian lending companies" and "christian dating services?"

it just doesn't make any sense. first of all, i'm not really a christian. second of all, i don't need to borrow money. and third, i'm married.

why don't they stop? and every time i put one of them on a spam list, i get 2 or 3 more...

and what the fuck does "christian lending principles" mean, anyway???? their rates are lower? or they're nicer to you when they repo your car? or maybe they pray for you when you can't make a payment. it's just stupid.

list of movies we've watched: "ten" last night. iranian movie that came out a while back. i thought it was really good. ten encounters in a woman's car. (not dirty encounters)... also shows the dynamics between her and her son... and how modern iran has changed... women still don't have the rights that men do, but it seems that their role has become more assertive... then again, i don't know how true to life this movie really is... there are only two camera angles. one is on the driver (the main character) and one is on the passenger. it almost looks like a documentary. and i really love documentaries... 4 or 4.5 out of 5...

on the plane back from australia:
bourne supremacy. i didn't realize that franka potente was only going to be in this movie for about 5 minutes. i don't know. i had mixed feelings about it. when i was watching it, i was all into it. (i scare easily while watching movies.) but... now that i'm thinking back... matt damon makes a very poor assassin/hero guy. as far as sequels (and blockbuster type movies) go, though, i thought it was pretty well done. not too bad. i'd give it a 3 or 3.5 out of 5 stars...

manchurian candidate. interesting premise... i'd be interested in seeing the original to see how it compares. this movie had one ESPECIALLY creepy part in it. i got seriously grossed out. it wasn't gory or anything. it was just... wrong. i thought meryl streep was great, though. denzel, sometimes i like him, sometimes i don't. i really liked him in out of time. i thought he was really good with eva mendes. i'd also give it a 3 or 3.5.

the terminal. i couldn't be more disappointed in this movie. i should've known. the boobs at my work all fucking loved it. "oh, tom hanks! he was so great!" "oh, tom hanks! he's so talented!" "oh, tom hanks! i want to get on all fours and suck your cock!"

okay, granted, he does a good job of pulling of some russian-type accent. but it tries too hard to be charming... and okay, i almost cried near the end when i found out what the fuck he was carrying in the planters can of peanuts... and what was up with the the black girl and the latino guy? she liked him because he was a trekkie? how'd she know? did he actually put that in the love note? and how could you marry someone just because he's a trekkie? they've never even talked... what the fuck ever... i'd give this one a 3.

catwoman. i thought halle berry did the best she could with such a shit movie... and shit direction. and shit everything... i don't know, though. there are some fun parts to it... i really wanted to like the flick. the best part of the whole movie was halle's hot catwoman outfit. one day, i want to grow up to be halle. i'm going to give it 1.5 stars. 1 star is for halle berry looking hot in her outfit. the .5 is for benjamin bratt because he looked really cute. i'd give him a 0.3, but that's just stupid. much like the movie. and i was so tired. i should've just slept through it... but i couldn't sleep for some reason. it was painful. and good god, sharon stone's face looked just absolutely awful! like they'd done some serious CG work to it... maybe it was supposed to look like that... but that would be giving the director just way too much credit.

had a battlestar galactica marathon the other night. we were 4 episodes behind... how i love that show...

a chat with the bro's counselor dude

i talk to my brother's counselor (known as a family rep) every 2 weeks.

the last few times i talked to him, the news was bad. i was finding shit about my brother i just did not want to know... i mean, i could deal with the drug use, even the sex with girls. okay, not really. but that's not MORTIFYING... i mean, it's bound to happen, right?

everything else, i just want to forget that i know. i couldn't even tell my parents. i had to email them because i have to tell them everything that FR and i talk about. and that just sucks...

thank god today wasn't that bad. if i found out one more thing about my brother, i would've died.

i don't know... what the fuck went wrong??? i remember how he was as a kid... and i can conjure up those pictures in my mind... and it's so different than how he is now... i miss his hugs and his smiles. i miss him telling me he loves me. i miss him coming to me and asking me for advice. i miss his little bowl hair cut. hehe... i miss his little drooly kisses on my face.. and how he used to hug my leg when he was little... and his husky little voice... i just... ugh...

at any rate, i felt kinda good today, though. the FR told me that he had given chris an email i'd sent with printouts of the pictures i'd attached and apparently, my bro had a big ol' shit eating grin on his face. possibly, he's selling them to other boys so they can masturbate to them and he's happy that he's going to make some money (or condiments or whatever it is that they barter over there) .... but, i'd like to think that he misses me. misses all of us.

i'm hoping he grows up to become a nice, mature young man. he can be nice... he's just seriously confused for some reason. i just hope he finds his way....

last observations...

a few other things… (sorry about the neverending posts about the vacation. it's almost over, i swear.)

i found THE world's best skincare line. ever. AESOP. it smells delightful. not too sweet like at bath and body works... unfortunately, i can't seem to find anywhere to buy the facial cream i like... i don't know what i'm going to do when it runs out... i might break down and cry... or fall to the floor and rock myself to sleep whilst in the fetal position. they have it at barney's, but i couldn't find my particular facial cream. and i don't know if the australian places will ship to the states... *sigh* i won't think about it until i run out... :(

oh, and they have these soap slabs that are awesome. i like this one in particular. i never really took care of my skin too much, but i'm not getting any younger... especially when i travel, i notice these lines on my face... AHHHH! NO!!!! so yeah... time to start buying good products and stop using lubriderm body lotion on my face... oh, and the regular soap probably isn't helping.


(and they wrap it all up so cute... steve said it's just blueberry netting. what the hell is blueberry netting? oh. so the birds don't eat them. fuck! farmboy just ruined my packaging. whatever. i still like it.)

fosters isn’t australian for beer. i never saw a can of fosters anywhere. i did see a lot of toohey’s and VB (Victoria bitter), and crown lager (which is actually by foster's). but i didn't see any cans of actual foster's.

the girls in australia may need to get introduced to the ab cruncher machine. they’re not obese or anything, but almost all of them could stand to lose between 20-25 lbs. it’s weird. they’re all like that. there’s almost no diversity in body shapes. i noticed that the girls in melbourne were particularly chubby and wore tiny little outfits. i don’t know if it’s because the outfits were so tiny that it seemed to accentuate the chubbiness… or if they were just chubbier than the other aussie girls. let's just say that none of these girls were there. i think those girls may be from a different country...

the boys (especially in melbourne) love to have that messy, messy, just been fucked hairdos. oh! and faux-hawks.

flies suck ass. they’re fucking everywhere… if you don’t mind kamikaze flies diving into your face, food and drinks, you’ll be just fine. i don't know if it's just a seasonal thing or what... i can't imagine that it would be seasonal, though because everyone else didn't seem freaked out by it. they were all used to it or something...

the toilets have a full flush/half flush button. i guess the full flush is for those heavy duty shits or something… the toilet seats are angled differently… and they’re kind of small. steve said, “i can’t fit my junk down in there.” i can’t stop laughing. holy god!!!

and the public restrooms there are gorgeous. clean, full (or almost full) doors so no one can peep in at you as they're walking by... the only thing that's kind of unnerving is when you flush, it's like a goddamned waterfall is coming out and you're going to get swept away or something.

i think they make their sausages out of lamb or something. i don’t know what it is, but it’s not pig. and it’s gamey. i hate me the gamey meat. steve thinks it’s venison. i wouldn’t know. i've never in my life had venison. i can't eat bambi!!!

breakfasts come with a cooked tomato and mushrooms. yummy. i likee the breakfasts here.

most of their town names sound dirty… towns that end in “wang” and start with “bung” make me giggle. like kurrawang and bungonia… that’s funny… oooh! and megalong! oh, wodonga is the name of a town we passed through. every time i saw the name on a sign, i’d start singing the thong song: “wodong-da-dong-dong-dong.” it had a population of 35K. but where was everyone? stores close at odd times, restaurants close at odd times… we can’t figure anything out, unless we’re in a major city. steve observed that the only places that are open with consistency are the wineries. our kinda place.

beets in burgers. when aussies come to the states, do they request beets on the side?

i have seen ketchup once this whole trip. at a mcdonald’s. if anyone has any sort of tomato based condiment, it’s this tomato sauce. tangy and sweet sauce… with a consistency not unlike the sweet and sour sauce at mcdonald’s. but chunkier. it’s good. so… we got to mcd’s and i request tomato sauce… and whaddaya know? they have ketchup! in the nicest packages ever! you know when you go to mcd’s and you get those ketchup packets? and they almost feel as though they’d fall apart if you play with them too much? and they’re super easy to tear apart and open up? these were made out of this thick material. you couldn’t crease it if you tried.

actually, i didn’t see many condiments at all. steve claims he's going to have ketchup with everything when we get home... with burgers, with fries, with beer :P

why doesn’t the US go to the metric system? it’s all so logical… steve said carter tried doing that in the 70s or something. i don’t really remember the 70s. i wish i could say it was because i did a lot of drugs, but it’s because i was like 2 or something. i found myself changing everything to miles in my head … i couldn’t tell if 120km was far or not. i mean, it’s kinda far, but how far is it really? yeah… every single time i saw a sign, i’d tell steve how many miles it was. i don’t think he cared. in fact, it was probably just really annoying him.

they have the tastiest chocolate bars here. i must try them all! one of the ones i like is called “picnic.” mmm…. tasty wafer thingies and peanuts and caramel goodness all covered in chocolate. the other is “time out.” some other flaky tastiness on the inside… goddamn, but the geniuses at cadbury are evil!!! they also have hazelnut flavored snickers here. i never got around to trying that...

the soft serve ice cream is really weird here. steve had one the other day. it was like cool whip atop a cone. the one at mcdonald’s was slightly better in consistency, and only a tad bit better in taste. not that i don’t love cool whip. i do! on top of pies and desserts and steve and stuff like that! but not when i’m expecting ice cream.

arnott’s makes the best goddamned cookies in the world. steve’s addicted to the milk coffee cookies (i think). more like biscuits if you ask me. i loved their kahlua cookies (which were covered in chocolate) and their caramel crowns (also covered in chocolate). they were so good.

i think there was only one restaurant we went to where there was a line on the receipt to leave a tip. i guess no one else expects tips.

there’s also no tax. and no pennies. everything gets rounded to the nearest 5 cents.

okay. now that i've inundated everyone with way too many details and pics about our vacation, i'll go back to writing mean shit about people i hate.

OZ: 4

Thursday, November 25, 2004

weird dream. it was like i was playing a video game, but i was in it. and i met up with this guy character, who ended up being a bad guy. and my dad was in it, too… he was telling me what my next missions were. there was the save point downstairs that i had to get to, but i had to battle all these monsters (scarier versions of the monsters in paper mario) and i had to protect my brother who was locked in the front seat of a car. when i got to him, i stuck him in the back seat under the front seat.

the fighting wasn’t turn-based, unfortunately. and i had to fight with axes and swords and i had all this slime and blood all over my hands and i could barely grip my weapons because they were all slippery. i finally got to the save point and the guy (that i thought was a good guy, but was really bad) took me to this other level. and then i had to fight him. i chopped off his head and the people on my team are yelling at me to burn it before it regenerates a new head on his body, but i don’t know how to start a fire… and he grows a new head and he says to me, “i could do this all day.”

steve comes in and fights the guy in another room. i’m fighting other creatures and it’s all i could do to stay alive. he comes back in just a few minutes and all the creatures vanish. and he says, “there was nothing to it.”
“you killed him? already?”
“what, you thought i couldn’t kill him?”
“no, it’s not that! i just didn’t know you’d kill him so fast! did you burn his head?”
“no, why?”
“awww, crap!”
and then the fighting starts again. steve goes back in to fight the bad guy. as long as steve is with me, it’s pretty calm. but the fighting gets really rough once he leaves me to fight the other guy. yeah... this trip's been filled with weird ass dreams.

sometimes when steve leaves me (i’m in the car and he runs off to take a scenic pic… or like when he dropped me off at the airport to take the rental car back) i imagine that something horrible happens. like a car runs him over or something. not that i want that to happen. but all sorts of awful scenes play through my mind. i guess i’m afraid that he won’t be here with me forever. i always get scared and i can’t help it. but when he’s not around, my brain always wanders in that direction. it’s frightening. i can’t even imagine what i would do…

we went to the gym (i know! i can’t believe i went either!) and it was sad how out of shape i am. then we spent some time in the hot tub. it was really nice because it wasn’t blazing hot like hot tubs tend to be.


(ahhhh...)

i’m in love with this lotion here at peppers… i just love it. i am going to need to take that when i leave. mmm…kinda smells like chocolate mint. mmm…i just want to lick myself! all over!

here we are at bondi beach. hotel is called ravesi’s. hip little joint. unfortunately, i’m moody tonight. i just feel like crying and i’m whiney. damn! stupid fucking hormones!

it’s been a very long day. i’m exhausted. before we drove down to sydney, we stopped by echo point and saw “the 3 sisters.” apparently, the other 4 sisters have eroded away. no, really. that’s what the sign said. there used to be 7 rock formations, called the 7 sisters…. and there’s this huge aboriginal folklore story thing that goes along with it… but, they say that unless you’ve been “initiated” it is forbidden for non-aborigines to know the full story. yeah, right! they probably don’t know it either! yeah! :P at any rate, it was a really pretty view. breathtaking, awe-inspiring and all of that.


(us at echo point)


(steve with the 3 sisters. hussies.)

oh, and we also found out why the road peppers is on is called “sublime point road.” it’s too bad we didn’t find out last night for sunset. oh well…

after echo point, we went to wentworth falls. i’ll bet that’s quite a sight when it’s been raining. seemed like it’s been kind of a dry winter in australia. that waterfall just kept on going down, down, down… i couldn’t even see the bottom. it was insane.


(don't quote me on this, but i don't think that's the bottom of the falls at the bottom of the picture... it might be... i dunno... i couldn't see that far down. i'm short.)

drove back down the great western highway to sydney. found our way to bondi beach and our hotel there. it was approximately 3pm by that time, but the sun was still pretty hot, so we laid out for a bit. but i’m still super pale. (does anyone know how to pronounce bondi? is it bond-eye? or bond-ee?)


(bondi beach. if you look REALLY carefully, you might be able to see nekkid boobs :P hehe. just kidding. i don't know. but knowing steve, i'm sure he got one or two in there... hehehe...)

at the beach, i finally got around to reading “a grief observed” by c.s. lewis. an acquaintance gave it to me when joe died. she was a good friend of his… she said it helped her a lot. i have been unable to open that book since that time. in a way, i felt like, “wow. c.s. lewis really just fucking understands me!” other times it just pissed me off. ultimately, i ended up throwing the book out when i was done. just a load of christian silliness that just pissed me the fuck off when it was over. i don't know why.

ate, then took a shower for our date to the sydney opera house. we thought the show started at 8. oops. it was 7:30. we almost made it on time… heh. it’s okay. it’s good we missed the first act. steve took some nice pics of the building while there was still a little bit of light left.


(the opera house and the opera house bar)

the building’s a lot nicer from farther away. from close up, you can see every blemish. it is a marvelous building, though.


(all i need is a cigarette! i'd look so fucking cool!!! well, except for the flyaway baby hairs...)

we saw a ballet… i can’t remember the name right now. i think it was girls gone wild. :P no… it was in french…. i think it was "the girl runs wild." it was a very cute love story… and it was fabulous… ballerinas (and ballerinos :P what do they call male ballet performers?) sure are flexible. i could never be a ballerina. first of all, i’m not flexible. second of all, you have to smile the whole fucking time you’re performing. don’t their faces just HURT? damn. my face hurts when i have to smile more than 5 times a day at work.

steve said he’s sorry for not having “ballet booty.” hehehe…those guys have these butts that are just cut. their legs, too. you can see the muscles rippling under the spandex… anyway, i prefer steve’s buttcake… :D

and then, the whining started. i was tired and hungry and we had spent so much money on the tickets and the parking ($25!) so i was feeling guilty about spending more money on food. especially when i felt like a lard ass… all the good eatin’. so then i was moody and upset… poor steve :( and then i thought maybe i wanted to have a drink, but then i realized i’m just moody and i should probably go to sleep… we ended up opening a bottle of beer at our mini-bar. neither one of us had ever opened anything from a mini-bar before. are we losers????

anyway, it was a crown lager and it was terrible. steve didn’t think it was THAT terrible… i could barely drink it. i made steve drink it. blech. i wanted to open the champagne, but i was pretty sure it was kind of not so good champagne. that’s a guaranteed headache.

oh, speaking of mini-bars, every single hotel in AUS and NZ seems to have a damned mini-bar. damn them, with their evil temptations!!! like chocolates and nobby’s nuts… hehe… nobby's nuts... and alcohol… lots of alcohol…

but, good god i’m out of shape. we ran up 4 flights of stairs out of the parking garage, then across the way and up more steps into the opera house. goddamn, there were a lot of stairs. and goddamn, i’m out of shape. i could barely breathe by the time we got to the top.

our hotel room was really cool… very cute, very hip place. but… the carpet. the carpet was just filthy! i don’t even want to know what kind of debauchery goes on in there! hehehe. speaking of debauchery, i just remembered my dream had something to do with e… but what? i don’t remember.


(i know... it doesn't look like it would be a room where people would be having orgies... all over the place... but i know it happened! i know it!)

we walked up and down campbell parade (which appears to be the main drag along the beach and where our hotel is located)… everything looked like it was closing up shop around 11 or 11:30PM. but the lobby at our hotel was just hopping! i should’ve just sucked it up and partied. i’m such a goddamned baby. goddamn those fucking hormones!!!

the first floor is a bar, the second floor is a restaurant and has a corridor to 4 rooms and the third floor has some other rooms and some suites. anyway, there’s this soundproof door to our rooms. and as soon as that door shuts, you can’t really hear anything that’s going on. but it’s loud out there.

Friday, November 26, 2004

it’s already Friday. i guess i was just really tired yesterday. today’s shaping up to be another gorgeous day. so yeah… yesterday i was just such a whinger! no more! i’m still tired…. i hope i can recuperate in melbourne.

and what is it about this place??? i have to take a shit 2-3 times daily. DAILY. it’s just not right. i’m not sure if it’s the copious amounts of food i’m eating, or if i’m just highly irregular because i’m off my schedule… it’s getting ridiculous, though.

it’s so gorgeous out… and i started singing that mr. rogers theme song. “it’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor… would you be mine? could you be mine?” do they sell those shows on dvd? i would so buy them.

there’s this door in our room to our own private balcony. unfortunately, we can’t figure out how to open it. it’s not that the view’s particularly nice or anything, it’s just the principle. why can’t we enjoy our balcony, goddamnit????

i wonder what the baby bunny’s up to… getting spoiled by grandma, probably…

listened to mix master mike’s album: bangzilla. great mix CD. makes me want to jump up and shake my booty. except i’m in the car… and there’s limited range of motion…

gwen stefani’s solo album is a lot of fun. wholly unoriginal and not exactly inspiring or anything… lyrics are trite, beats are trite, melodies are trite… yet, it’s still a lot of fun, bubblegum pop. i wasn’t expecting more than that from her.

peanut butter wolf on one world… that was a great mix. hrm… but i can’t remember much of it right now. i’m not sure if it’s because i slept in the car for most of it or because it was unmemorable… what i do remember, though, i enjoyed.

had a listen to boards of canada. not sure which album. normally, listening to a whole BoC album makes me fall asleep, and this album was only slightly different. i like them, but in measured doses. it had its moments when i really listened, other times, it was just there. it’s not that i’m opposed to “ambient” music, but it’s not really something i can typically get into.

today’s day one of our 2 days of lots of driving. not really looking forward to it.

right now, i feel like there’s a lot of noise in my brain. shouldn’t it be quiet in there??? shouldn’t i be all relaxed??? i feel uneasy right now and i don’t know why. my brain is going nuts. maybe i should get up and shower. maybe i should stop writing and just cuddle up to steve. maybe i should not be so clingy and just leave him alone to sleep. poor guy’s done all the driving and does all he can to make me happy. he’s going to be sick of me after this trip.

i thought i’d be sore today after all the exercise from yesterday…. i guess the worst is yet to come tomorrow. i hope not, though… this tiny bit of calf soreness is tolerable. almost even enjoyable. yes, pain! give it to me! :P i got more exercise yesterday in one day than i have in the last month or two. we did a helluva lot of walking (and running).

hey, look! we got the thanksgiving game live. i like the bears’ throwback uniforms. it’s orange. i love orange. actually, to be honest, i don’t know what the current one looks like… but i definitely like the old ones.

ooh. just saw a commercial for “the best beer songs” cd collection. they have a lot of compilation cds for sale on tv. anyway, this one is funny… it’s got “unbelievable” by emf, “right here, right now” by jesus jones, “red, red wine” hey… wait a second…that's not a beer song! oooh. and “turning japanese.” uhm…okay. i’m not sure what makes this a great beer song album…

we’re driving to canberra right now. it’s australia’s capital. we’re listening to masters at work. kenny “dope” gonzalez… “back when he used to spin hip-hop,” according to steve.

holy shit. i just found out that KRS-ONE isn’t KRS-1. now i get it… steve said it stands for “knowledge reigns supreme over nearly everyone.” i didn’t get it before… i just asked him why it’s “nearly everyone” instead of just “everyone” and he said, “knowledge doesn’t reign supreme over bush.” that was funny…. i guess it’s not “knowledge SHOULD reign supreme over everyone,” is it? :P

before we left bondi beach, we went to this CD store “dirt cheap cds.” all cds and dvds were $10. crazy! we bought 3 different cd sets. one of the sets we got is a 6-cd set! yowza! we scored! and the other 2 are 2-cd sets. one is masters at work and the other is an old ministry of sound set. one disc is pete tong, the other is boy george. it’s old, from ’97 or something like that. there were a lot of cds we wanted to get, but we don’t really have a whole lot of room to bring shit back.

steve was all pissed leaving sydney because it took us like 45 minutes to get out of sydney and its environs. what the hell? and the maps i had just weren’t that good. they’re not consistent. and they don’t all have the number of the highway on the map… and on the signs, they don’t always have the same names as the ones on the maps. it was ugly. *sigh* maybe i’m just a bad navigatrix. :(

CHRIST, but there are a lot of fucking flies here! i guess they have nowhere to go or something, but STILL!!!! FUCK! I HATE FLIES!!!! they’re fucking everywhere. everywhere, i tell you!


(canberra: capital of australia.)


(the view from the top)

almost to thredbo. i swear, there’s something growing in my eye. it’s swollen … i think it’s the tear duct that’s swollen. fuck! i think those flies laid eggs in my eye! son of a bitch! goddamn those flies!

the road to thredbo from jindabyne is just so beautiful. the trees and rock formations, dramatic valleys. so gorgeous. right near thredbo, the trees are all clustered together… looks kinda like broccoli…. mmm… broccoli.


(right outside thredbo)

Saturday, November 27, 2004

3 dreams last night. this last one i’m still mad about. i don’t know why. it’s stupid. let’s just say that the dreams where steve acts like psycho are worse than the nightmares about psycho, himself. i don’t even know why i have those dreams. i think it’s because steve’s always doing stuff to make me happy… and i guess for some reason, i’m afraid that one day, he’s going to get tired of trying to make me happy and he’s going to become some kind of jerk. i know that’s not going to happen, but it doesn’t stop my dreams from happening.

before that, i had a dream about mel. she was trying to set up a mexico cruise with her and me, steve and stan. she wanted to show me how well he treats her or something… don't remember the first one right now.

we took the ski lift up at thredbo. there’s no snow there right now, but the lifts still operate for people who want to take in the mountain views. it seemed as though it was never going to end. it started getting really cold on the lift, closer to the top. the wind was crazy. when we finally got there, we walked up to the mt. kosciuszko lookout. i swear it was an 8km walk to the lookout and back to the lift. i can’t believe how much snow there would have to be during the winter to cover all the brush and bushes and trees and stuff.


(there's this mountain biking trail down the mountain. i have no idea how these guys get on and get their bike on so fast... those lift chairs come up on your butt fast!)

the walk up was covered in snow in one part. we built another “snowman.” by the time we came back down the hill, he was visibly melting.


(this is a big snowman compared to the last one we built!)

6:20PM. still driving to melbourne. i hope we get there soon. we just stopped for gas and food. there was a mcdonald’s there. steve had a mcoz. they put beets in their burgers. i’m not exactly a fan of the beet. psycho used to force me to eat them … and i already wasn’t fond of them. good thing steve likes the beets.

at the gas station, steve picked up this coffee drink called, “rush.” “rush” is more like a milk drink with a splash of coffee flavoring. it was so fucking nasty. i have never had such a disgusting drink. i hate milk. i detest it. steve loves milk. i saw him chug almost a full liter of milk during this trip. *shudder*

i didn’t wanna go to the mcdonald’s because i didn’t want the aussies to think, “stupid, fat americans, all they do is eat at mcdonald’s. they don’t even branch out and try new foods…” but there was nowhere else to eat… and i was about to get cranky… (i get seriously hangry when i don’t eat. that’s not a typo. when you’re so hungry you get angry? hangry. thanks for that word, johnny). i got this delightful chicken foldover thing. basically a chicken taco, but the taco shell is this rosemary flatbread. and the chicken was nicely seasoned. it was good. i was pleasantly surprised.

as we were driving down from thredbo, it was pretty warm. i fell asleep for a bit and i got the most fucked up sunburn ever. i was wearing a ¾ length t-shirt… so, half my forearm on both arms are burned. however, on my left arm, i was also wearing a watch. so around my wrist, i have an inch or an inch and a half thick white band where i didn’t get burned…. it’s awful. and it hurts. and it’s ugly. stupid, stupid sun.

and lord, it was warm. i had to change on the side of the road because i was sweating.

they’ve got all these public service announcements on the side of the road… they tell you to take a power nap if you’re sleepy. my favorite one was, “drowsy drivers die.”

by the time we get to melbourne, we’ll have driven about 1800km. unlimited mileage rules! although…. would it be mileage? or is it kilometerage? that’s kind of unwieldy, isn’t it?

just drove past a town named puckapunyal. and steve said, “i’d like to puck a poon, y’all.” i can’t stop giggling… and then he asked me if i had a pun he could puck… he’s the funniest! god! i love the australian town names! and yes! i’m immature! no, i don’t care.

goddamnit. my arms burn. a lot.

wow. we listened to all the cds we bought. guess it’s back to the cds we brought with us from home.

Sunday, November 28, 2004

we got to melbourne last night around 9PM. it’s actually st. kilda where we’re staying. it’s the prince hotel. it’s so cool! i love it! modern furnishings and it’s attached to a club which brings in some great talent. unfortunately, nothing great this weekend. we walked up and down the main drag. i feel bad… i mean, if steve had come with someone else, he would’ve had more fun. all he does is try to make me happy and we don’t do anything because i want to make him happy  i’m sure if he’d come here with his buddies, they would’ve gone barhopping and clubbing…


(our room at the prince)

we had dinner at a pizza place. i ordered one slice and he gave me two :) he must’ve felt bad for me because i wasn’t all dressed up or something. "poor girl. looks like a slob. she ain't gettin' laid tonight." hehe. steve said it was because the pizza guy thought i was cute. the guy told me it was because he had an extra slice. i believe the pizza dude.

on saturday nights, the kids get all dressed up… dressed to the nines! the girls looked like they were trying too hard to look pretty and/or classy. the boys look like they’re trying too hard to look like they don’t care. maybe i’m just used to the so. cal. people, but these people looked pretty haggard. the girls were definitely worse off than the guys. also, most of them looked like they didn’t know how to walk in heels. they were all wobbly. it was bizarre. hey, i'm not being catty. this is shit steve told me, too…

we went back to the room, drank some champagne and then watched part of this movie that was filmed in ’83. it was SO bad, that it was good. i must find that movie somehow… but how????

this morning, we went to the outdoor crafts market. saw some really cool art. melbourne has some great artists and photographers. we bought some art from this guy, george something or other…


(we bought a print of this piece. it's called "alice" after some movie (which is based on some novel). whatever. it's us... wandering around australia. :D hehe)

and i bought this wristband thing from this lady who makes little wallets and wristbands. her company’s called cybertart. i’m a cybertart :P


(posing like an asian schoolgirl :P with my new cybertart wrist wraparound thingie thing. all i need is the skirt and ... oh, fuck it. it's too much of a hassle.)

and GOOD GOD! why did no one tell us of this fly infestation problem they’ve got going on in australia? and now that the food’s gone, they’ve left us alone. normally, though, they don’t… they don’t ever leave us alone. christ. it’s awful. this fly problem, they’ve really got to fix this… i have never seen so many damned flies. except on a dairy farm. i wonder why all of those people who tried to give us friendly, helpful hints didn’t mention the goddamned flies? what, did they only fucking attack us? god! i hate flies.

so we just hung out all day. we thought we were going to run around and stuff, but i just wanted to relax. we’d been on the go the whole time, so i just wanted to vege out. i fell asleep on the beach. my back got pretty burned. my bikini top got all faded out. i don’t know if it’s the chlorine from the hot tub or the sun when i was drying it out in the back seat of the car. i had to trash it. good thing i didn’t bring my cute black bikini. i would’ve been depressed.

whoever did the interior design for the rooms at the prince needs to come over and do our home. they do so much with limited space. it’s great…

neither one of us is up to running around tonight. i’m a little anxious about going back to work… really not looking forward to it.


(sunset at st. kilda beach. our hotel was just across the street)

we had a really great time… steve planned everything so great… i tried to help him look for hotels and i got so many shitty ass hotels. he did a lot of research and it really paid off… thanks, baby :)

i don't want to stop writing... because when i stop writing, it means the vacation's over.....

why is it not friday yet???

i'm so goddamned tired... i don't want to go to sleep at night. i'm tired, but i don't want to waste my home time sleeping. which is weird. because i love sleep.

*sigh*

i'm so annoyed... i got some sort of bug bite on my ass... my butt is constantly itching. i'm always trying to sneak in a scratch when no one's looking. i probably look all suspicious like i'm about to steal office supplies. i don't know why i'm so paranoid. you can't even really see me in my cube. i guess i'm afraid someone's going to catch me off guard when my hand is down my pants and they just walk around the corner or something... i dunno... eh, fuck 'em.

my eyes itch. they burn, even. i've been dropping eye drops into them at least once an hour. maybe i'm allergic to the eye drops! NOOOOOOOO!

but that can't be true. i've put those in my eyes before.... anyway, they've been itching since before we came home... i guess it's allergies, but it's not allergy season is it? fuck. i think i'm just allergic to work.

i burned the top of my head on vacation. know what that means? flakes. BIG ASS FLAKES. i look like i have the worst case of dandruff ever. i tried to take out the big pieces this morning... but that of course made more flakes... but more little flakes. which are harder to take out. so now it looks like it's a REAL dandruff problem as opposed to just nasty skin peeling off the top of my head. i want to shave my hair off and dunk my head in lotion.

yesterday at work, this guy asked me what my new last name was...
"bon."
"no, really. what is it?"
"bon."
"what did you change your last name to?"
"i didn't change it. it's bon."
*silence*
"why not? are you some kind of feminist or something?"
"okay, you know what? first of all, i don't think someone like you would understand. second of all, steve doesn't care. third of all, it has nothing to do with feminism, but i'm not going to waste my time trying to explain it to you."
"steve doesn't care?" (of course, that's the only thing he cares about.)

steve's friend shares a cubicle wall with this guy and overheard everything so he pipes up with, "that's 'cause steve's scared of her."

me: WHAT???? shut the hell up.
other guy: yeah, i would be too!
*other guy and steve's friend laughing*
me: that's because he's smart. *evil eye*

i know i've had a big old rant about the name changing thing before... but... i hate feeling pressure from people about it... the more pressure i feel, the less inclined i am to do it... like when i quit smoking. there was no pressure for me to quit so i did. had there been pressure, i wouldn't have stopped. maybe i'm afraid of failure. i don't know. and i don't know why i'm so damned backwards.

and then i asked steve if he was scared of me and he said yes!!! well, fine! be scared! muwahahahaha!

i'm soooo bored

it's been so long since i've been bored at work... it's really nice.

i'm just reading blogs, IMing friends... pretending i'm working...

except it gets really hard to pretend that you're working when you're IMing and reading funny blogs...

when i work, i scowl. it's not that i just don't smile, i just look pissed... because if i don't, people think it's a good time to chat ... about themselves/their dogs/their kids/my life/my lack of kids/the "angel" tree downstairs/the blinking voicemail light on my phone.

it's really annoying. i took the chair out of my cubicle so people would stop sitting in it to chat.

i don't know what to do. when i'm just being normal, they come to bother me. when i'm being rude, they think they can cheer me up and come to bother me... it's a no win situation. but at least i'm being all pissy, i can act like a bitch and they just assume i'm PMSing.

mmm... i just had strawberry jam and peanut butter flavored jelly bellys... together... mmmm... too bad they don't have a wheat bread flavored one. oh... gross. i just had a PB one with a lemon one. oh, christ... i feel like wiping my tongue off on my jacket.

i need more jelly bellys... i like to mix the flavors. sometimes it's pleasant, most of the time it's not. you'd think i'd stop doing it... the admin just needs to quit buying these for the boss...

my friend just emailed me telling me to go to some show that her friend's playing some jazz at. it sounds like fun and all... she says it's "brothel jazz." HOT! :P i'll have to think about it, though... it's so close to christmas and all... i have xmas dinner to fix, ya know?

i'm still nervous about that damned turkey... stupid poultry. maybe i should order one that's already made or something... eep. i don't have a problem with the sides, i think... oh, crap. i don't know. i'm going to choke... i wonder how steve's cousin's thanksgiving turned out... it was probably perfect... oh god...

it's december and i don't have shit for steve yet... SHIT! i hate to go shopping!!!! i guess i'd better get online before it's too late... i still have to get everyone their gifts... i like giving gifts. it's fun... but this year, it feels like it's just come up so fast...

another year's gone by... and what have i accomplished this year? i finished paper mario :P we convinced nina and mike to get a gamecube... who, in turn convinced quyen to get a gamecube... :P

but i don't think i've really done anything worthwhile... anything to better myself or the world... that's depressing. i'm not going to think about that anymore.

steve sent a customer or someone our new zealand pics and they said the pics were gorgeous and i was too! god! i LOVE the people he works with! they're always so kind! or they have really bad eyesight. whatever. i'll take any compliment i can get! woohoo!

only an hour left... i gotta get the hell outta here... my eyelids are getting droopy.

beards

i'm not a big fan of the beard... in fact, i kind of loathe it. by kind of, i mean really. on other people, i don't care, but not on steve! :(

so, a few days (maybe weeks ago) steve sent me this email (maybe it was a link... i can't remember now) about some boys growing their beards out until march. i thought it was funny. he mentioned in the email that he wouldn't do it but it would be funny to do... blah, blah, blah...

i shrugged it off... didn't really think about it...

we went on vacation. and when we go on vacation, steve doesn't bring his razor or shave or anything. i can understand that... it's vacation! (even though i still shave my legs! ahem!)

at any rate, i don't mind beard growth then because i know it's coming off when we get home.

he hasn't shaved it yet. so i start getting paranoid and i've been nagging him about his beard. and then i started with the, "but you said you weren't going to do that stupid beard growing thing until march thing..."

and he denied it! he said he didn't say it! okay, maybe he didn't VERBALLY say it... maybe i misunderstood his email... but i don't think i did...

god! it's going to smell like food or something! and he said he doesn't dribble, but i don't think that matters....

so, finally at lunch, i asked him again when he was going to shave it off and he said, "this weekend? maybe..."

maybe???? maybe???? whatever... i'll take what i can get...

part III: australia

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

my face got a little burned from the drive. also, that international date line screwed with my birth control pills… argh! stupid pills... stupid, stupid pills.

i’m sitting at the airport with our luggage. waiting for steve to come back after dropping off the rental car. there’s this busload of japanese stewardesses and pilots that just drove in. i wonder if their airline takes them on tours and stuff when they reach their destination.

kinda chilly out here today. i think auckland’s a little cooler than rotorua. i’m all confused about directions here. and i don't know if anything is north or south of here … i guess heading south is like heading north for us?

currently, we’re on our way to australia. there was a departure fee of $25 (NZD) we had to pay when we left NZ. i’ve never seen that before. steve said that every airport in asia has it… even the ones they just had layovers for. ouch. i don't remember that in korea. maybe there wasn't one in korea. or, my dad probably just took care of it.

my nose is killing me. blowing it way too often and the dry air in the plane isn’t really helping. it’s all raw and peeling. gross. fuck!

there’s a weight limit on qantas for carry-ons. they think mine weighs too much because it’s a kind of wide carry-on. really, only the bag is kinda heavy, the contents are actually very light. steve on the other hand, has this carry-on that’s got to weigh at least 30 lbs and they just wave him on through. it’s crazy…

what, they think that because i'm a chick i have a shitload of crap???? i mean, come on! it's just some shirts and pants... christ... i brought basically one shirt for each day, 2 pairs of jeans (and i'm wearing a pair), 2 pairs of shorts, socks, underwear... it's not that heavy!!!! leave me ALONE! christ!

we're on the plane now... and HMPH! i was reading an article about gamer chicks over steve’s shoulder and he just waved me away. RUDE!

watched anchorman: the legend of ron burgundy. it was funnier than i thought it would be. not a great comedy, but entertaining enough. steve liked it more than i did… which isn’t to say that i disliked it. it definitely had its funny moments, but i think that it was trying too hard at times.

ugh. weather’s looking awful. we haven’t even really started descending yet and it’s cloudy and foggyish.

our credit card started denying all our charges. i don’t know why. it’s not like we keep a balance on it or anything. and we have a high limit. i swear, every time we leave the country, that credit card company freaks out. even when steve bought my engagement ring, it did the same thing. and then conveniently, the customer service number on the back for international calls doesn’t work. the customer service is all fucked up because bank of america bought it. i know it! i hate those fuckers! the worst service EVER.

drove from sydney to salamander shores. i, of course, slept most of the way there. and steve, of course, did a great job of finding the place.


(view from our room)

it’s beautiful. we’re right on the beach and this peninsula is so narrow, that you can see the sunrise and the sunset, from practically the same view point.


(sunset)


(another sunset pic)

we walked to the internet café. it seemed so much closer when we drove it. it was a pretty far walk. i had to email my boss’ admin about work. god. what is wrong with me? i can’t relax on vacation! we got there 10 minutes before he closed up shop. thank god…. he let me on for a few minutes. i don’t know what i would’ve done if they were closed. unfortunately, i didn’t even have time to check my blog :( damn it!

right when we got back home, it started raining and it was really windy. so we ducked into the sports bar which is attached to our hotel. got 2 beers and a water, and she gave us 3 raffle tickets. turns out at 6:30, they do this giveaway thing. at 6:30, they ended up calling one of our numbers! i was shocked! we got a $25 voucher to use at the restaurant. the other giveaway was some seafood platter… yeah. i don’t know about that one. we had a really good dinner. i had fish and chips. mmmm... fried food.

we have a robin’s egg blue camry. steve let me drive it last night for a short distance, after we were done with the bar. (by the way, the bar was packed. not much to do in soldier’s point, apparently.) it’s fun driving on the other side of the road… but it’s really tough to estimate how much room is on the left side of the car, when you’re on the right side. you’d think you could just reverse driving in your head… but apparently not.


(i'm buzzed! and i'm driving! oh! it's the wrong side of the road! oh, wait! that's the right side of the road! i should drive when i'm buzzed all the time!)

we came back to the room and to my absolute horror, i saw a huge cockroach crawling around in my one open pocket in my suitcase. son of a bitch! i almost died. i should’ve expected it, though. there was a huge can of bug spray above the mini-bar. steve took the bug outside. god. i hate roaches. it was even bigger than the one i saw in LBC last week... (god, was it only last week? i'm so tired...) that fucker was at least 1.5" long... and possibly 3/4 to an inch fat. fat little fucker!!! oh, god... i'm cringing again...

i’m tired again. too sleepy to go on…


(this bird is like the crows that torment me at home... their caws aren't nearly as abrasive, but... they're pretty big and scary, too.)


(big ass pelican)

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

i wish i could type this… it would be so much faster and neater. i know there’s so much that i’m forgetting to write about…i feel so confused and i don't know why. i should feel relaxed, no?

steve woke up early to take sunrise pics. i went back to sleep.

my carnet de voyage isn’t very interesting. i wish my brain were more organized. maybe i could write a decent one, then. it’s just all so frustrating. i wish it was like craig thompson's...


(really good graphic novelist... check out blankets, if you ever get a chance, to)

my allergies aren’t quite so bad here as they were in NZ… but they’re still here. australians seem to have a stronger accent than people in NZ. having a pretty hard time understanding what anyone’s saying.

i’m still tired. must be the jet lag… so, what’s on the itinerary for today… breakfast, wine tasting, fauna world, then on to peppers. i wonder what else?

we went to our breakfast buffet. they have this spaghetti out… and it tastes just like spaghetti-o’s but not in "o" shapes. at 9AM, this lady went out to feed the birds. they’re gorgeous birds… but LOUD. it was crazy… chaotic, even. they were everywhere. i was still in the restaurant and i could see steve outside. and this bird landed on his head… so i started laughing out loud… and everyone starts looking at me like i’m crazy. i’m not crazy, goddamnit! doesn't everyone hear these voices in their heads?


(there seemed to be hundreds of these birds flying around, attacking each other for food, squawking about...)

we went directly to fauna world. i think that was the highlight of steve’s trip, thus far. i’m not exactly an animal person, so about a half hour into it, i was ready to leave. but we had to stay until at least 11 because that’s when they do the animal feedings. when we first walked in, there was this big ol’ peacock just hanging out outside… at first, i thought it was a statue because it was so still… and then it moved… and steve’s taking pics of it and then it starts yelling or squawking or whatever it is that peacocks do. i was petrified.


(what a fucking show off)

we bought these little paper bags of food... little pellets. we walked into the area where the animals are and they all came in and molested us. we must’ve been the first people with food that day… these goats were coming after me. especially this big black one. okay, it wasn’t that big, just bigger than the others and it was PUSHY. fuck! i hated him... he started getting up on his back legs and he'd have his front hooves all over me... and i was wearing a white fucking tank top. i'm a fucking genius. stupid ass little goat... oh, goats sound like they're just yelling at you. MEH! MEH! and their freaky eyes!!! oh, god! the eyes! spawn of satan!


(evil little fucker! he was all headbutting the other baby goats who were trying to get food... GOD! i'm going to have nightmares about him)

well, the little ones were okay, though. i liked the really little ones. and then there was this joey with his foot hurt :( he was so cute!!!! i got to pet him…maybe he was a wallaby. whatever.


(i'm so cute and little!!!!!! oh, god! the evil goat's in this picture, too!!!)

they had all sorts of animals there – wombats, koalas, kangaroos, wallabys, water buffaloes, camels, tons of different types of birds, bunnies!, guinea pigs, goats, pigs… good god! there were a ton of animals, which in turn, attracted flies. gross. you know, no one ever told us that australia had a fly problem… steve fed some joeys. they were mauling him for pellets. it was really cute.


(i'm a wombat! got anything good up in here to eat???)


("look at me, woman! look at me!" -- dude, that peahen is NOT giving a shit about him!!!)


(i have never seen a bird like this before... is it an albino peacock???)


(steve's super popular with the aussie ladies)


(my little pony)


(the cutest little baby koala ever!!!)

drove down to hunter valley for wine tasting. we only hit 2 wineries. i was too tired to go on. the first had this sparkling shiraz. it was CRAZY! and it was tasty, too. we had to get a bottle. they said that all over australia, they’ll make pretty much any wine sparkling. and it’s served cold. it was great. the second sucked. i’m not even going to say their name. no free advertising for them.


(this is hungerford hill... very cool, unique building... i guess it used to be a church? i don't know if that exact building was a church or a church was just in that location. at any rate, it's not really sacrilege because wine is the blood of jesus, right?)

they have these snacks called cheezels. they're like cheetos, but in an “o” shape. why are the american ones called cheetos when they’re not in an “o” shape? and why aren’t the cheezels called cheetos? i don’t get it.


(mmm... cheezels)

i slept for the next 2 hours, while steve drove us to the blue mountains. we stayed at peppers resort. i fell in love with it there. modern furnishings, pretty hip. i thought i wouldn’t care about our accommodations, but i do! i love it! i can’t wait to check out the hot tub tomorrow. :P


(please don't ever make me leave here!!!!)

went for indian food in a neighboring town. the samosas weren’t that good. they were really bland… but they had a pretty good yogurt sauce that saved the samosas from being bad… the main courses were good, though. their korma sauce was excellent. the naan was super thick, but tasty.

tomorrow, we’re back in sydney. bondi beach :) and we’re going on a date to the opera house :) good night. *yawn*

van helsing

with all the bad press van helsing got, i thought it was just going to SUCK ASS... i was expecting pretty much nothing...

i found it to be a very entertaining flick...

sure it's pretty stupid, but it was non-stop action. i spilled beer on myself... i knew what was going to happen... i knew when it was going to happen... but... it still startled me...

i let out a little scream and my arm kinda jerked... and there was the beer... all over my little blanket. damn it!

and hugh jackman and kate beckinsale make great eye candy. *grawr*!

i liked hugh as wolverine and everything... but i really swooned for him when he was curly in "oklahoma." he was just adorable!

once again, i completely ruined another movie for steve...

"oh, no, honey, don't you go in there!"
"no! not UP the stairs!!!"
"oh, heeeeelllll no! aw... heeeeellll no!"
"they're all gonna DIIIIIIE!!!!!"
*gasp* "what's going to happen?" "i don't know." "WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN???"

i'm the worst person to watch movies on dvd with... i'll clutch onto your hand, arm, leg, whatever's in reach... (okay, maybe not WHATEVER's in reach :P hehe)

there's just something about watching a movie at home that makes me the most annoying movie watcher in the world. i think it's because if it's really that important, we can just rewind it... i dunno...

i don't do that in the theater or when other people are over... poor steve... :( how he suffers...

not that i need ANOTHER one, but...

a new blog i'm enjoying: http://virtuallymine.blogspot.com/

found it because jeremy's blog wasn't working and there was just one link at the top of the page. i didn't know what it was for... i guess it was the next blog button... and voila! another blog for me to read when i'm supposed to be working! yay!