events of 2004...

so i couldn't even stay away for 24 hours. i need help. seriously.

(before i start this, i just want to say, i watched the first 5 episodes of desperate housewives last night. i'm hooked.)

so, here are some events of MY year. because, we all know that MY blog is all about ME. because in my world, i'm the fucking queen. hell yes.

*we got monkey. bought her with jules and mel (not of mega-sized fame). poor baby fit in the palm of my hand. she was twitching in the heat (yeah, for some reason, it was about 90 degrees that one weekend in jan) and we thought she would die. we had no idea how hearty that little bunny was. she's fucking huge now.
*turned 27. wasn't as bad as when i turned 25 and went through my early mid-life crisis. woohoo! can't wait to turn 40. that'll be fun for steve.

*my mom turned 55, my dad turned 61. i always think of them being in their late 30s, early 40s. i can't help it.

*went to tahiti for steve's 35th birthday. it's fucking paradise. it's beeeeyoootiful. we stayed mainly on the island of moorea. there's a coral reef that protects the island about a mile out from the shore, so the water is so, so still. and very buoyant. even i could swim. (i don't know how to swim... especially not in a pool.) and the water's warm. so warm that except for the wetness, you don't know when you're stepping into the water. we went to the caribbean for our honeymoon and tahiti blows that place away...
*cousin's baby, sophia, turned 1. i can't believe it came so fast.

*went to PA to visit steve's grandpa and other family for easter.
*saw morrissey

*coachella. finally saw radiohead. it was fucking amazing.

*brother turned 16, sister turned 17. (please, for the love of god, don't make comments about my sister almost being 18... or anything to that effect. please. i'm begging. you pervs.)
*sandra collins and dj icey at spundae. steve almost got into his first fight defending my honor. what an asshole that guy at the club was.

*trip up to napa. to visit friends and wineries. mmm. silver oak, cakebread, grgich, oh my!
*comic-con. saw jude law... JUUUUUDE!
*started my blog. surprisingly, i haven't stopped blogging. i do that a lot. start things and don't finish. i'm lame that way. god, i love the blogger community. :D
*sarah mclachlan at the anaheim pond
*james lavelle at the spider club

*concert at the hollywood bowl
*trip to napa for an old jr. high school friend's wedding. her name is abigail. his name is brad. i like to call them brabigail. but not to their faces.

*a friend of mine married a jackass loser... but we ended up going to seattle and vancouver and having a fabulous time, so i think that cancels each other out. hehe.
*beastie boys at LBC

*new orleans. and voodoo fest. way too much drinking. wait, what am i talking about? i have never put those 4 words together... "way too much drinking" pffff.
*monster massive on halloween.

*halo 2 finally came out.
*met mike and nina.
*our 2 year anniversary.
*new zealand and australia.

*xmas with the folks

seriously, i think that this year was highlighted by the blog. i never would've met so many cool people otherwise... so, thanks to everyone who's stopped by! :)

looking forward to everyone's blogs in 2005 :)


today's my friday. woot!

man, i was swamped today. working sucks. i'm going to see i can leave now. i worked my ass off today.

will be back on january 4. although, i think i'm going to be SWAMPED when i'm back. i'm only back for a day and a half. wednesday afternoon, i'm taking off for vegas. not for fun, though. for work. damn it. i hate going to vegas for work. ooh, working in vegas makes it sound like i'm a stripper or something. hot!

so, yeah... if i don't post until 1/10, it's because i'm out of town. but i doubt i will be able to stay away from blogs that long, though... i'll get the shakes, for sure. hell, i'll prolly be back on tomorrow.

but in case i'm not, i hope everyone has a safe, happy, and fun new years eve, new years day....

*update. damn. i didn't get to leave early. fuck! it's 6:30 now! aw, man!*


stressed the fuck out

fuck. i hate month-end. i just feel like fucking screaming and crying all at once. that's not fucking, screaming, and crying. okay. how about i just say that i just fucking feel like screaming and crying all at once. okay. yeah. that makes more sense. or something.

it's all i can do to keep myself from screaming at people when they just look into my cube. i need to get the fuck away from this place.

i can't wait until tomorrow's over. at least we get new years eve off.

i was going to leave at 4, but the boss' boss keeps on coming around. i think he's checking on me. jeezus. no trust around here. :P

i'm leaving at 5. damn it. yeah.

luscious jackson and len

so, steve and i didn't get to have lunch together today. bummer.

went to my car and i had luscious jackson in the car. fever in fever out is a great fucking album. quite underrated, to be honest.

and that reminded me of len. you can't stop the bum rush is also underrated. they had one hit. steal my sunshine. i hate that fucking song. it's the absolute worst song on that album. i was cleaning (before steve and i got married) and i saw this cd. i remember thinking, "oh, jeezus, i HATE that song... do i dump him? but he has good taste in music... maybe i should give it a spin before i break up with him over this cd."

and i gave it a spin. and i loved it. i still hated that stupid first track, though.

and since we're on the L's here, check out lemon jelly. good chill out music.

in answer to the questions asked....

thanks for the recommendations, all... :)

1. Have you ever killed anything bigger than an insect? (intentionally or otherwise)
(no. but i have fantasized about killing psycho and getting away with it... i always had problems trying to figure out what to do with the bones and teeth. i was thinking grind them up into a fine powder and dumping it in the ocean. think that would work???)

2. What do you hate to do but do it anyway because Steve likes it?
(i don't do anything i don't like to do. i make him suffer. muwahahaha! i've tried things, but boy, we never did any of that again! :P hehe)

3. Have you ever walked in on someone having sex?
(not that i remember, but i've heard my parents having sex once. *shudder*)

1. If you could trade places with anyone, who would it be?
(someone smarter and wittier than myself. or smurfette. the only female in a village full of smurfs... that little slut. :P)

2. What is your favorite place that you've visited?
(hrm... i really LOVED tahiti. it was so beautiful... if you're looking for a nightlife, though, i wouldn't suggest going there... unless your nightlife consists of lots and lots of hot sex. woohoo!)

3. What's the biggest pet-peeve you have?
(i'm going to have to make a list. i could never pick just one... and it depends on what kinda mood i'm in... so in no order whatsoever:
*women talking to me in the restroom
*people who don't flush the toilet after themselves
*people who can't multi-task whilst driving
*stupid people
*super happy fucking people
*fake people
*people in general)

1. Why aren't mandarin oranges sold in HUGE tubs for me to eat?
(but they are! wholesome choice near my house usually has them in tubs... they might even throw in the tub for you! :P)

2. Do angels really get their wings every time a kitten dies?
(no. why the fuck would they get them when a kitten dies? they weren't guarding the kitten so the kitten died. they don't get shit. stupid angels.)

3. What do you want in life?
(i just want to be satisfied.)

Q1: will you name your first born after me?
(why you gotta bring up the kids? damn you.)

Q2: who do you really want to see at our 10 year?
(no one. everyone i want to see, i talk to now. everyone else can kiss my fucking arse. i'm only going because jeaneil scares the fuck outta me with her "mommy" voice.)

Q3: what do you want for your birthday? i need some ideas.. hehehe..
(check my amazon wishlist :P)

Q1: What is the hardest thing about being married?
(damn! put me on the spot! hehe... without a doubt, it's gotta be the BEARD. hehe... actually, this question should really be asked to steve because i really don't have any complaints. i've been whining about how i always have to feed the bunny in the morning so he gets to sleep in a bit and i don't... but normally that doesn't bother me... i've just been whining... uhm... there needs to be compromise. people who can't compromise shouldn't get married. before i met steve i thought the toughest thing about being married would be seeing the same man every night. hehe... but thus far, that doesn't suck :P being in a routine took some getting used to. but being married to the most wonderful man in the world isn't wearing on me at all...)

Q2: Are you more like your mom or your dad?
(oh, god, i so want to lie and say i'm like my dad... but i'm my mother. it's scary. i see my future... and it's freaking me out.)

Q3: What's your favorite drink?
(there are so many to choose from... i like steve's concoctions (huh huh... cock)... but sometimes, i'm not in the mood for fancy drinks... i'm going to say vodka tonic. i will always drink one of those. preferably good vodka.)

(btw, shaun of the dead is a fucking great movie... check my list of best of 2004)

What is the happiest moment of your life?
(just one? i'm lazy. check it.)

What is your favorite kind of cheese?
(just one? damn... right now it's mascarpone.)

What are your top 3 musical guilty pleasures that you are embarrassed to share (please share them with everybody on the internet)?
(final fantasy x-2 soundtrack, and i'm being completely honest when i say i can't think of any others)

Q1: When are you planning on coming to AZ for a visit?
(i'm going to have to defer this one to "the boss" because i'm ready anytime!)

Q2: If you could be a different ethnicity or gender would you?
(i always thought it would be cool to be a guy, and when i was a kid, i used to hate being asian because there weren't any other asians growing up, but now, i like it... so, if i had to change either one of them forever, i wouldn't do it.)

Q3: What do you mark as your highest achievment to date?
(keeping the bunny alive past her first birthday... actually, i think it's leaving psycho. it was tough. i had no money, almost no friends left... the ones i did have lived far away. i was pretty much all alone. but i made it.)

1. When you were a kid, what did you secretly try when no one was looking? (ex:Eat dog food or something gross)
(i tried to turn peanuts into a snickers bar... like on that old commercial. sorry. i don't know anything gross i tried.)

2. Have you ever called a 900 number or sex chat equivalent?
(when i was ... pretty young. i think i may have been about 10 or 11, i called one. i was a lonely kid. "are you lonely? call... " yeah. i didn't realize it was for sex. oops.)

3. Have you ever lied about your age...and if so, what's your favorite age to be?
(HEY! that's 2 questions. when i was 20, going to bars was a pain. always had to lie and say i was 21. hehe... another time, we were at a club and this kid wouldn't leave me alone. he looked pretty young, so i told him i was 33. he still didn't leave me alone. i told him i was married to steve, and the kid didn't believe me because steve didn't care i was getting hit on by some little kid. jerk. and in answer to that second question -cheater- don't have one. lying up has always been good for me, though. "you look great for your age!")

last night

went to dinner with steve's boss. we had a good time. he was very personable. i didn't have to be fake or anything. i really liked him a lot. he's a tad long-winded. by a tad, i mean VERY. at least we didn't have to worry about uncomfortable silences. lots of navy stories (he was in 'nam)... it was all very interesting.

i had 4 fucked up dreams last night... 2 were fucked up. there was a 5th, but i can't remember it anymore.

1. steve and i are in LA. i was buying stuff. my friend ji was there and at some point, i noticed that my dollars weren't uniform in shape. as i got farther into the stack, they were xerox copies and b&w. and the copies weren't even centered. it would be just a corner of a dollar bill or something. also the currency had weird denominations. like $40 bills and $125 bills. i was getting frustrated because i couldn't remember all the places we'd been that day for me to go back and tell them i'd counterfeit dollars.

2. got a big box from the disney store. it said "happy holidays from RNB & JRN" xmas gifts. 2 big stuffed animal in the shapes of spiders and a big, blue fuzzy lilo and stitch blanket. we hadn't gotten the blanket out yet when this really big ass bug (which was also a stuffed animal) starts talking to us. she wants us to stay still so she can eat us. i say aloud, "i wish we had two big spiders to eat you!" (which i would never say in real life because spiders scare me.) the two stuffed spiders came in from the other room and start chasing this bug. they were leaping around the room. they're big. like, a foot in diameter. at first i thought puppet strings were brushing against my face, but it turns out those strings were web. don't remember anything else.

3. i was with a bunch of people who were supposed to be my friends, though none of them looked familiar. i had to pee, but apparently, we were supposed to pee in the meats and cheese section of Ralph's. also, the meats and cheeses were in a different section. it was by the employees door. anyway, i thought it was weird, but people were just walking by like it was normal. and i couldn't stop peeing. peeing like a racehorse. and then the dream rewound. i had to pee all over again. but this time, we went through the employee door. i went to the bathroom in there. but the toilet seat was so high up, i actually had to sit on it, instead of squat. my feet were a foot off the ground. there was no door. so while i'm peeing, each of these "friends" sat in a line and watched me pee. the first would get up and leave, and the second one would move up to the front of the line and watch me. it was unnerving.

4. in the same room as dream 2. jules is in an art class. there was about 10 or 15 people in this class. steve and i went to check it out. we get in the room and each person is kneeling by a horse. these horses are those tiny horses. their assignment is to sculpt a horse or something out of the horse's shit. every few minutes the horse would take a step up. if the horse got to the wall before the student was complete, the student got kicked out of the class. sorry, jules. you failed. heh.

what the fuck? what gross fucking dreams i had last night. bugs, piss, shit... ew.



the man has a new fucking album every fucking year, seems like...

i know he's not dead... there's just no way he could possibly be dead. steve says 2pac has hundreds of unreleased songs on archive.

i am not buying that one bit. that's what they want you to believe....

i think he's in morocco...


stole from CL and YB

CL and YB had this on their blogs...

(A) First, recommend to me:
1. a movie
2. a book
3. a musical artist, song, or album

(B) Ask me three questions, no more, no less. Ask me anything you want. Answers will be posted next week--great time for strangers to say hi. ***

(C) Then go back to your blog, copy and paste this allowing your friends to ask you anything; say that you stole it from me.

***blogger note: i reserve the right to NOT answer any of these questions.... because i'm a fucking pussy like that. but please, ask away :P



xmas eve was nice... my parents and sister came by... we had dinner. didn't turn out too horribly. roasted chicken, green beans, barley and wild rice... apple pie... (still haven't tried making my own pie crust since the other incident. heh...

we watched two brothers with my parents. god, my mom loves those animal movies... the movie was really cute. i don't know if i would call it GOOD... i did like it, though... and the shots were amazing. those tigers were trained really well.... or, they just had hundreds and hundreds of hours of stuff and just spliced it all together... i dunno. at any rate, it was pretty damned amazing.

the parents went to church with my sister and we opened our gifts to each other and we got ready for xmas dinner at steve's aunt and uncle's home... it was nice. i went over around 12, steve went to get his mom and hung out with her for a bit... i helped cook and stuff... which, i guess i don't really mind doing... i love his aunt and uncle... they are really sweet. and i absolutely don't mind helping his aunt in the kitchen... some days are good for her, some days are bad... she has diabetes and has had toes amputated and such...

at any rate, i love to help her. she is a wonderful woman. but, her daughter... jeezus... she is usually really nice to me, but i thought i felt something a little weird about this visit. i don't know what it is... i don't want to say anything more. i love steve's family. they welcomed me in without question... okay, well, maybe a little... the stuff about me not being republican and me maybe being a heathen... heh... but, even so, they've always been so accepting of me...

anyway, we ate for like... 4 hours. dessert was yummy. steve's cousin can bake like nobody's business... some really good dark chocolate fudge and apple pie... it was fabulous...

afterwards, we went home, picked up my sister and went to my cousin's place. for gifts and stuff with their baby. she is really cute. a handful, but really cute. not in a bad way. she's just got a lot of energy... that i don't have. especially after that huge ass dinner. and 2 glasses of champagne. it's funny because normally just one glass of champagne gets me a little loopy, but i'd eaten so much that i didn't feel a thing until i'd finished the second glass... it wasn't even a REAL buzz, either. heh...

went home, played the happy bunny game with my sister and watched around the world in 80 days. i loved steve coogan in 24 hour party people. i thought he did a good job in this movie. i wanted to like it more than i did. it was kinda fun. but... it was missing something. i don't know what, though. the fighting scenes were typical jackie chan... i'm convinced they've gotta speed the tape up or something... i can't believe that he can still move like that... and that fast. it's unbelievable. i mean, he's 50 years old. not that 50 is old or anything... just kinda old to be doing the shit he's doing! oh, and they had some good hong kong stars in it. real ones. not just some random ass asian people.

took my sister to her church this morning... she's going on a ski trip with the youth group at her church. i always get pretty paranoid when she goes anywhere... i hope she has a good time. i hope she stays safe... she'd better remember to call me when she gets home....

what else did i do today.... i took a 3 hour nap. it was heavenly :) hehe... i am just so tired. i think it's because i got a christmas visit from aunt flo.... yay. uhm. yeah.

played some pikmin2. realized it's time to sell it.... and then turned on super mario sunshine... and the save file got erased or something. :( there are only 6 shine sprites. we had over 50 or something like that. :( damn. i gave myself motion sickness, though. had to quit playing. *barf*

i keep thinking today's monday... but it's sunday! and we don't have work tomorrow! i'm going to lounge around in pj's all damned day. it's going to RULE.

my booty... yar!

i totally got spoiled this year... besides all that shit i got from work, i got:

damn... you'd think someone liked me or something.... so much to play with... so little time. i guess i got really lucky this year... :)

and btw, i told steve he could keep his beard... *sigh* i give up. heh.

i hope everyone else got what they wanted for xmas as well!!!! :)

and hope everyone had a wonderful, merry xmas....


laffy taffy, cleaning, and other crap...

i got a package from yankeebob today... laffy taffy because i won the laffy taffy contest... along with... hrm. i think veronica and someone else i don't believe i know... i'm going to stuff my face full of the stuff on xmas morning... i think that's what xmas is all about. stuffing my face.

i was going to clean and start cooking today... but... the cooking part didn't happen. went grocery shopping. and steve and i went shopping for a new washer/dryer set. we didn't buy anything. his mom is getting us the set for xmas. she's so sweet... they're expensive! i've never gone shopping for a washer/dryer before. dayam. i feel kinda bad she's getting it... i was lusting after the gas stoves. (damn you, woman.)

last night we watched ricky gervais' live 2. this one is called "politics." it's even less PC and funnier than his first one, "animals." if you like "the office" you MUST watch his stand up routines. they're so goddamned funny... and if you're not familiar with either ricky gervais or "the office" get yourself acquainted... it's some funny ass shit...

we went out for fondue tonight. i've never had fondue before. (i told you i was sheltered...) we had this delightful swiss cheesy melty thing... and a chocolate desserty one... and then i started getting nervous because i didn't take my lactaid beforehand... i have my good days and i have my REALLY bad days... so i was keeping my fingers crossed... nothing yet...

i tired. i very, very tired...

merry xmas... i'm going to be cooking all day tomorrow. wish me luck....



it is officially vacation!!!! woot! woot! do the disco call!

not sure how often i'll be posting... or if i'll be posting at all... i'm definitely back at work on tuesday. i'm pretty sure i won't be able to live without checking on blogs, though...

happy holidays!!!!

*and even though blogger hasn't updated my profile in a while, i just wanted to say that i believe THIS is my 500th post. holy shit.*

getting nervous

my boss' boss just gave me a box of chocolates. why? he already gave me a big gift.

i think it means that i'm going to be SCREWED the first week of january. shit. shit. shit.

mierda, i say.

yahoo's launchcast

is rocking my world right now... i have my very own channel... and i get to rate albums on their 4 star system.

basically from 0-4... 0 being "sweet baby jesus, don't play this again" to 4: "i'm going to have an orgasm, gimme more" okay, fine. those are my ratings.

and they play on random... yeah. it's cool.

my brain is on vacation.

but i finished my stupid spreadsheet. i hope i can go home now. :D

born slippy still rocks my world. i could never figure out what they were saying in the middle part ... so i just looked it up on lyricsfreak.com and holy shit! whaddaya know. he really was saying "mega mega white thing"...

okay, i have no fucking idea what that song is about. whatever. i love it. i think i need to ingest copious amounts of drugs. then it'll all make sense... yeah.... i need a dealer first. damn it! so many things in the way of enlightenment.

it's only 1:45

and i wanna go home....

all i can think about is what i'm making for xmas eve dinner... and if i wanna change anything... and how i need to go shopping for food in the morning...

i made chocolate cake last night. that's what i want for dinner. :D mmmm. chocolate. came out better than the last chocolate cake i made. i think next time will be good.

but, GOD, why is so difficult to bake?


so, i had to go get a signature for a PO. and the guy who needs to sign it is looking me up and down. and not stopping. i'm so fucking glad i totally covered up. mock turtleneck, pants, boots. and i'm wearing my leather jacket. you can't see any skin on me. well, except my face and my hands.

so i got tired of him looking, so i pushed my stomach out as far as i could get it to go, slouched over so it looked like i had no boobs.

but i'm thinking i may have made a mistake. now he's going to gossip with all the other men about how i'm gaining weight.

they're worse than girls. i swear.

holy shit!

i just realized that today is like friday for me.

my mood just got 1000x better.


uhm, not that...

yesterday, we got like 3 big ol' boxes in the mail... one was from friends... (thanks, guys! not opening it until xmas, though... we're going to be good.) one was from my boss' boss... who is basically the closest you can get to being president, if you're a white man. a really nice gift basket. it's all this stuff you need for breakfast in bed. really sweet.

was i supposed to get him something? i dunno. i mean, he only makes slightly more than i do. and by slightly, i mean at least 10 times more than i do. :P but i feel guilty. i gave the man a card.... sheesh.

the other package was our xmas present to us from us! a brand spankin' new AV PC. built in TV tuner... (all we need is cable. heh) i think it's an 80GB, 512MB... one of them fancy brite screens. a tad on the heavy side, but beeeeyooootiful. i just *heart* it. boy, it's a good thing that one guy that i help out a lot gave me some cash... it's all legal! i swear! it was just a little gift of appreciation. i love that man.

i had a dream last night that steve and i were on a spaceship. and there was no one else on the ship except for this guy i knew from high school, todd. in the middle of the room we were in, there was this circular ... thing. all around it had handles. starting with the color red, it went through the rainbow. but there weren't just 7 handles. it was huge. it started with red and in shades changed to orange, yellow, green, etc...

steve and i didn't know what to do with these big handles. todd said, "i'm going to figure it out." and ran out the airlock. steve and i just looked at each other like, wtf just happened????

there was some discussion as to what happened to his body... i can't really remember specifics.

and just a few seconds later, we were landing. we looked out of the window and there's this uninhabited planet. there were signs of a civilization (buildings and cities and such) but no creatures. and right when we should've hit the ground the hardest (we weren't strapped in, but we were bracing ourselves for the worst impact possible) we went completely weightless. it wasn't just me. the whole ship was just gliding along the ground. the smoothest landing ever.

and i still remember that feeling of weightlessness. it was weird.

no more watching battlestar galactica right before bed for me....

it's weird that todd was in my dream, though. he was such a sweetheart. and funny as hell. until we got into college and he started dating this girl, laura. damn, she was boring. and he turned into her. it was too bad... he had a great personality.


my boss is the sweetest...

my boss gave me my xmas gift... a bottle of silver oak and an amex gift card.

i want to go home and guzzle my silver oak RIGHT NOW.

the silliest movie in the world

watched the chronicles of riddick last night. it was soooo funny! not as funny as the day after tomorrow, but it was right up there on the silly factor. those one-liners ... they slayed me. as a comedy, it's not too bad. as a real action flick, it kind of sucks. a lot.

also, vin diesel can not fucking act. hollywood, please stop giving mr. vin diesel roles in movies. thank you.

went to fox sports grill last night. they're in scottsdale, irvine, seattle, west nyack, houston, and one coming in atlanta...

the bar is always fucking packed. more tvs than anyone would ever need, game room or something upstairs... good place to pick up chicks, so i've heard... apparently, a lot of girls go there to pick up on guys. it's a win-win sitch.

good thing we went to the restaurant part of it. i hate crowds. food is decent, the prices are really decent, so i can't ever figure out why the restaurant is always empty. must be because there aren't any tvs in there. just sucks that they're affiliated with the fox network.



they just sent me 10 invites again...

i have 9 invites left... and not 9 more friends...

that's sad...

if anyone wants a gmail account, send me an email: grace.bon@gmail.com and i'll send you an invite...

xmas gifts

i thought i was all done with xmas gifts... but then my boss' admin just gave me one. and it's really cute. it's this little PJ set from american eagle... i forget what the top says but the bottoms say "meet me under the mistletoe" ... at least it's not cameltoe... :P

at any rate, i didn't get her anything. i gotta get her something... what do i get her? gift card to sephora or mac or something? but that would mean i'd have to go to the mall. NOOOO!

alcohol? but she doesn't drink much. maybe a bottle of midori sour or something. i know she likes the girly drinks...

damn it! why did she give me something???? i'm so bad at finding gifts for people!!! i like giving them gifts, just not picking them out. especially when i don't really know them that well... well, i guess we know each other well enough for her to get me little PJs.

and i have to get them tonight because she's not in on wednesday! argh!

what to get? what to get????

the weekend...

i finally got some reading done this weekend... i said, "fuck all this shit i need to do for xmas" and just plopped down with a book and read.

i haven't had uninterrupted reading time like that in a long time. i've had the amazing adventures of kavalier & clay on my nightstand now... for 2 or 3 years and never had the time to start it. when i have thick books to read, i like to have the time to get into it... because normally, once i stop, i have a hard time picking it up again because inevitably, i'll have to start over. starting over is very discouraging to me. it's why i haven't finished playing final fantasy X or kingdom hearts. i'm so close to finishing the games, but i can't because i'm not strong enough yet so that means i have to backtrack to up my strength and such. and i hate backtracking.

at any rate, kavalier & clay was a really good read. way better than i thought it would be. it's a novel about the beginnings of 2 comic book authors. it's a really easy read... it's on the longish side (about 650 pages), but it doesn't feel like it's that long. he's really descriptive and i enjoyed it very much. even the story itself has elements of a comic book story to it. but, i think even people who aren't into comic books would really like it.

went to a xmas party on saturday night. well, it was more like a xmas get together than a party. steve has these friends. i like them. they're really low key. i don't have much in common with them, but they've always been nothing but nice to me. anyway, her best friend is... kind of... uhm... i don't know how to explain her. if you've ever watched saturday night live and watched a skit with Debbie Downer, you'll understand what she's like. everything she has to say fucking BUMS ME OUT. she's a teacher in long beach. steve and i will have to home school our children. we're frightened of teachers like that. she kinda looks like this, but not quite as purple or good-looking.

also, she is SO jealous of them. at their wedding, she was crying at the table. but not in that, "oh, i'm so happy for my BESTEST friend. i love her so much and they look so happy." more in a way like, "i feel so sorry for myself because i'm a no personality bitch. i should be getting married. oh, god. when is it my turn? it's not fair. god, i hate her, but she's the only friend i have, so i have to suck it up and be her maid of honor. i'm so going to try and seduce her husband when she's not looking because i'm a back stabbing bitch." yeah. fun times. we ended up playing trivial pursuit. god, i hate playing that game with people who have those encyclopedia games and remember everything. fuck. i lost. steve won. at least one of us did :)

sunday i finished the last couple of chapters of the book and finished pikmin 2. i earned 10,000 pokos! finally! that game is so cute. i wonder if they're going to make a pikmin 3.

watched the nightmare before christmas last night. believe it or not, i've never watched that. i knew about it... i knew all the characters (mostly from kingdom hearts)... but i never watched it. so i led a sheltered childhood. sue me. and i found out that danny elfman not only did the music for the movie, but he was the singing voice for jack skellington. interesting....

also watched casshern. interesting movie. it's live action, but they did a lot of animation on top, so it had an interesting look to it. kinda like sky captain and the world of tomorrow, it had a retro, yet futuristic look to it. (i still need to watch that, too. jude!!! i love you!!!! ) i really liked the look of it... the action scenes are pretty good, but there aren't enough of them. gets kind of heavy at the end.

i don't know if i was a little confused because sometimes the plot doesn't completely fit together or because something was lost in the translation. at any rate, the summary can be found on the imdb link above.

we opened one of the gifts i got for steve for xmas. effen vodka. the black cherry vanila flavor. apparently effen means something about being smooth or balanced. i know what effen means to me, though :P muwahahaha...

anyway, it was tasty. it has a rubberized grip on the bottle ... they claim it keeps it colder. i think it's for when you're tah-rashed, you don't drop it and break it.

finally, here is the pic of steve with a beard. the picture is a little orange because the sunset comes in through our kitchen. also, his beard looks and feels a lot thicker than the pic. weird.

giest, cece, don't fucking encourage him. thanks. :P


crazy, stupid ass people

*crap! i saved as draft instead of publishing this on saturday. :(*

read an article about this woman who was strangled to death... for her fetus. this lady breeds rat terriers or something, so she thought this other woman was coming over to buy one from her. freakin' crazy lady (known as FCL, from here on out) gets behind her, strangles her, slashes her belly laterally and takes the other lady's 8 month old fetus out... cuts the umbilical cord and takes off.

then, she calls her husband and tells her that she just gave birth. so, FCL's husband and two children drive out and meet her in some parking lot.

1. how STUPID is her husband? why would he think that child was his? and how many months pregnant did he think his wife was? do they not TALK to each other? if she was preggers, and she lost her child, don't you think she would be a LEEEEETLE bit upset? did she hide that from him as she was coming up with her diabolical plan???? what in the hell???

2. wouldn't he wonder why she wasn't in a fucking hospital? do most people in their parts just give birth in a parking lot? is that normal in the sticks or something? i didn't think so. and why wouldn't she call him before? did it just POP the fuck out?

3. how STUPID is FCL? did she think she wasn't going to get CAUGHT???? and what was she going to do when her STUPID ASS husband realized, "hey.. that last kid... don't look nuthin' like me...."

4. how desperate does one have to want a child, that instead of just trying again, you'd slash someone's body up for their child. christ, it's only 9 more months. let's see... 9 more months, or forever in jail... or the death penalty, even. let's think about this.... she's just like scott peterson. fucking morons. think shit through, people!

good. lock away more morons. jeezus christ. one less idiot for me to run into and hate.



finally got me a new system. it's a tablet. it's purty. and fast.

i likee :D

and my mouse is so damned cute. it's about 3 inches long and 1 inch wide. or, the length of my middle finger and 2 fingers wide. whatever.

it's going to give me problems in the long run, i know it.

it's about time i got a new system. except the IT guy moved all my stuff over. i hate when people go into my system. makes me nervous. i like to keep my shit hidden.

i *heart* steve so much

like cece says about roy...

if steve ever tries to leave me, i'm chaining him up... except not outside because:

1. we don't have a backyard
2. i don't want him anywhere neighbors could see him... or hear him call for help.

and i will, too. i'm fucking crazy like that.

he's coming home today! yay! and he won't have internet access until he's actually back in town. so he can't read this post and stay away because he's too scared to come home. muwahahahaha...

last night's dinner went okay. i was a little uptight until i got a vodka tonic and a few glasses of wine in me. i actually have no idea how much wine i really had because they just keep on coming and pouring... maybe 2 glasses? maybe 3 or 4? who really knows? eh, no one's keeping count, anyway. i didn't get out of control or anything. wine makes me happy. it's the vodka shots that make me crazy. :P

it's probably a good thing i don't really have friends near me. we'd all turn into alcoholics. it wouldn't be pretty. dinner was fantastic. we went to antonello ristorante at south coast plaza. probably the best italian restaurant i've ever been to. (then again, we don't usually go to too many italian restaurants... even though i love italian food.) i wouldn't make steve take me there, though. kind of expensive. tasty desserts.

we had a really good wine, too. except i can't remember the name of it now. i don't think i'll ever remember. damn. we could probably find it at hi-time wine cellars (the best liquor store ever. it's your one-stop vice shop. liquor, cigarettes, cigars, candy, chocolate and tasty chocolate creations.)

so, yeah. it didn't suck. i almost had a heart attack when i saw the bill, though. i don't know why. you think i'd be used to seeing those, especially since i've been with them when they go out in vegas.

and my boss almost had a heart attack when he saw how much i ate. everyone was all mortified. "my god! you're a frickin' animal!"

hey, i never claimed to be lady-like.

i was the youngest one at the table, as usual. "what? you were born in 1977??? i just graduated from college!" one of the few times i feel young again. heh... not that i think i'm old. just every once in a while, i feel like i shouldn't be 27 already. i feel like i should be... i dunno. younger, damn it!

i told the boss how i'd been with him now for 4 years now. "shit! i gave you the best years of my life!!!" funny that i've known him longer and i probably spend more time with him than i do with steve. not ha ha funny. weird funny.

i got home and got a message on my phone. i was all buzzed and my phone says i missed a call from nina! so i called her back. and as the phone rang, i realized that she's one hour ahead. oops. :( i felt so bad.... we had a nice conversation... i missed her. she's really funny... you know how funny she is on her blog? well, multiply that by 10, at least... she was killing me....

she wanted to know what to get steve. i wish i had a good answer for her. shit, i don't even know what to get steve. this is going to be the worst xmas for him ever :( i only got him a few things... i dunno. it drives me insane that whenever he wants something, he just goes out and buys it. he doesn't leave me anything good to get him for xmas. see, nina? he's not perfect. he is a pain in my ass at xmas time.


Best of 2004

and i know everyone's going to be doing a "best of 2004" list... but that's okay. i'm unoriginal. so fuck off. :P

they are in no particular order because i couldn't choose a #1 out of each category. i really tried to keep the lists short... but i just couldn't for some of the categories....

Best TV Shows:
The Simpsons
Battlestar Galactica (coming out in 2005 for the rest of the US)
honorable mention has to go to Pornucopia for having the the name that makes me giggle. okay. i changed my mind. honorable mention goes to Long Way Round because i *heart* ewan mcgregor.

Best Video Games:
Pikmin 2
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door
Halo 2

Air: Talkie Walkie
Roni Size: Return to V
De La Soul: The Grind Date
Andy C: Nightlife 2
DJ Green Lantern: New York State of Mind
Bjork: Medulla (fucking blew my tiny little mind)

Best Concerts:
Ursula Rucker
Beastie Boys at LBC
Coachella in it's entirety (RADIOHEAD, the cure, air... and the list goes on and on!)

Foreign Flicks:
Shaun of the Dead
House of Flying Daggers
Oldboy (although, this movie may have come out in 2003. i can't remember now.)
honorable mention
has to go to Taeguki: The Brotherhood of War because they're my people. :P okay, and one more for La Mala Educacion for Pedro Almodovar and Gael Garcia Bernal. *meow*

Napoleon Dynamite
Shrek 2
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
honorable mention goes to Mean Girls because i love Tina Fey.

Movies I Thought I Would Hate, But I Liked:
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
Van Helsing
13 going on 30
honorable mention has to go to Elf because it's that season. (even if it came out in 2003)

Movies I Thought I Would Like, But I Hated:
The Terminal
Home on the Range
The Day After Tomorrow

Movies I NEED to see:
The Incredibles
I ♥ Huckabees
mmm, Jude Law. (jeanette, are you happy i finally used the ♥. you're pushy. :P)
honorable mention has to go to Team America: World Police. (i still can't believe i haven't seen it yet.)

Comic Books I *Heart*:
Blue Monday
Bone (i swear it's not dirty. it's really good. i promise.)
Y: The Last Man

i'm sure i'm forgetting a lot of shit... but i have a bad memory. sue me.

*(blogger note: cripes, i hope all the links are linked to the right shit. damn.)

stupid santa ana winds

i think they're the santa anas, at least... i'm wearing a long skirt today, so that wasn't helping. it was catching all the wind and i barely made it from my car to the door. seriously! that's a strong wind.

either that, or i REALLY need to start going back to the gym.

tonight's our xmas dinner. we don't have a company xmas party or anything like that, so every year (except for last year) our boss takes some people out. i'm not really social or anything, so these events are always a little bit painful for me. until i suck down that first glass of wine! hehe. well, even then it's uncomfortable.

i wish i could be one of those people who could just mingle and not feel all self-conscious about it.

it was so gross... last night i had to change the bunny's litter. it SMELLED so bad. i wanted to retch. usually steve does that. he's a good hubby. i let the bunny in for a bit and she went straight to the corner with the diaper (one of those bed liners for people who pee in their beds) and peed. a LOT.

so i changed that out and put out another one. she went back to it and peed a lot. again. and pooped all over it. i was like, "god, you're so weird!" and i called steve to tell him about it and he told me that i needed to change out the litter.

oh, yeah. forgot about that. i went outside to retrieve it and it was FULL of poop and pee. it was so damned heavy. *shudder* thank god those poops are just little pellets. i don't think i could ever have a dog or anything. those poops are like human poops. ew.

and do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to go into sav-on and buy a big ol' bag of those bed wetting diaper pads? i hate doing that. stupid bunny. one of these days i'm going to run into someone i know. *cringe*

and it's sad that the highlight of my night was cleaning out the bunny's litter. at least i got to play pikmin.


mmm, chocolate

i could seriously go for some chocolate right now. i don't even care what kind at this point. but i guess i don't want it that bad because i'm too lazy to go to the vending machines to get it.

i guess it's good that i'm lazy. i'm just gonna pig out on frozen mini snickers bars when i get home. i love putting chocolate in the freezer and eating them frozen.

on an unrelated note, i'm not going to give in to the temptation! i'm not shaving steve's beard off. i'm drawing the line at nagging :P i really should stop, though. i'm just giving him more reason to not shave it...

i mean, when i quit smoking for him, he didn't nag me.

but, god! a clean-shaven face would make a great xmas present :P

why the fuck not?

i'm bored so i'm going to bite off of nina and LE...

Favorite Christmas Movie: it's a wonderful life (i'm a sap, i know)
Favorite Christmas Television show: i didn't get to watch tv as a kid. and we don't have tv now.
Favorite Christmas Song: no song. but my favorite xmas album is the ella fitzgerald xmas album.
Favorite Christmas Food: the mini-reese's that come in that candy cane plastic tube. okay, any chocolate that comes in a candy cane plastic tube.
Most Hated Christmas Movie: i don't think i have one...
Most Hated Christmas Song: feliz navidad
Most Hated Christmas Food: i've never had fruitcake, so i don't have a most hated food.
Favorite Christmas quirk people indulged me on: well, shit. my list is turning out to be fucking boring.
Favorite place I ever celebrated Christmas: son of a bitch! i suck!
Favorite Holiday Decoration: our kissy snowflake :) we didn't have mistletoe, but we had this 3-D snowflake that we hung up...
Favorite Person to spend the holiday with: steve, of course :P
Favorite person to shop for: and steve, of course :) he's usually pretty easy with his amazon wishlist. unfortunately, he only had like 5 items on there this year. rat bastard. so i had to use my "imagination."
Most annoying Christmas habit: not taking a shower. well, it's annoying for everyone else who has to deal with my unwashed hair and body.
Favorite Christmas bonus: getting steve something he's not expecting and seeing his reaction... oh, and staying in my p.j.'s all day (ditto)... and no work for a few days. woot!

why i make a bad call girl

last night i drove out to see steve. i was pretty irritable because i hit traffic on the 91E. i know there's supposedly always traffic on it... but it was 7:30. jeezus people. go home! or go home earlier! what the hell is wrong with these people? there are so many fucking people on the road... and then it would clear up for 2 minutes and then start again. why? where are you people fucking going???? why do you live out in bumblefuck? get a job out in bumblefuck. holy...

either that or there were a shitload of people going out for a booty call. who knows.

at any rate, here are a few reasons why i make a bad call girl...

1. i don't do sexy. i really tried. i had my hair done like a porn star, my shiny lipstick on, i even had lingerie on under the coat i was wearing... high ass heels... but i got there and all i could think about was food... "i'm hungry." steve raises his eyebrows... and i say, "no. for food." talk about a mood killer.

2. i can't watch porn without a "wtf" look on my face. there was this show on. it wasn't really porn. it was called ... wait for it... "pornucopia"... kind of a documentary about porn, if you will. it was kind interesting and entertaining. in case you're wondering, we weren't watching it to make us hot and horny. it was just on. also, how can you not watch a show called pornucopia????

3. i don't take money. steve offered to give me gas money and i turned him down. what the fuck? i'd never make any money...

4. i'd always be late. not because i'm primping, but because i'd get lost. i had the easiest directions ever yesterday and i missed my exit to the 215. the 91 TURNS INTO the 215 for chrissakes. in my defense, there were quite a few cars there. i was in the fast lane and i needed to be all the way to the right to exit 215S. i ended up on 215N. i had to exit and turn around. what a pain in the ass.

5. i can't stay looking "sexy" for more than 15 minutes. after 15 minutes, i just want to take off my shoes, put my hair up in a ponytail and eat pizza.

yeah... HEY. i found one thing that i like about steve's beard. uhm, 'nuff said.

this morning, driving back on the 91W was pretty scary. all these people that drive it every day... damn, they're just taking their lives in their hands! it's only a matter of time before you get into an accident. seriously. i only saw one today, but i could see how there would be quite a few every day.

just too many cars... and jesus forbid i should leave half a car length between me and the car in front of me! any car in the next lane over would start pushing their way in. why? what's the fucking point? and every time that would happen, my lane would completely stop. that's what they get, assholes.

and what's with the slamming of the brakes? they get a few hundred feet and they gun it... WHERE THE FUCK DO THEY THINK THEY'RE GOING TO GO? and then they'd just SLAM on their brakes. i'd try not to follow them too closely, and then the car behind me would start tailgating me so i'd try to maintain some distance in front and in back of me... and as soon as i did that, another car would squeeeeze in there. fuck. i knew i should've driven home last night.

the only thing i miss about a morning commute is the music i'd listen to. last night and this morning, i was listening to deck safari. (by air) i was listening to it this morning and i was thinking, god, it's so fucking eclectic. on the link it says it's a 2 cd set, but my mp3 said there were 4 parts. so i dunno. i was thinking it was like their ultimate mix tape or something. but, i guess these songs were all part of their personal cd collection and these songs all inspired their album, moon safari, which is my favorite album of theirs.

at any rate, some of the songs are full songs, others are just parts of songs, like when you watch those commercials for cd collections and they play bits of songs. it was kinda like that. at any rate, if you love air, you will probably love this cd.

man, i'm TIRED. i didn't sleep well last night... maybe because i wasn't used to the bed or the pillow. and i kept on kicking steve. so i guess he didn't sleep well either. :( oops. i woke up at least 2 times when i heard him say, "ow!" sorry, baby :(

and i'm the worst bunny momma ever :( i got home, got her breakfast out (parsley, cilantro, lettuce, kale, carrots, celery... damn, she's spoiled) ... and i went to the sliding door like always. i opened the door, and she ran towards me. i opened the screen door and she jumped over the wooden board we keep there. that thing has got to be like 2 feet high. she was so freaked out :( and she was spazzing out all over the place. i had to pet her for half an hour before she was calm again. and then i put her back out so she could eat her breakfast and instead of devouring it like she normally does, she was eating it slowly and then she'd come back to the door... and just look at me like, "mommy :( why did you leave me? :(" it was so sad.

guess we can't leave her home alone anymore. needy little brat.


2 more hours...

until i can leave this hellhole. i can't wait to see steve. i just want to ... uhm, never mind.

so, he didn't shave his beard last weekend again. and since he's not at home this week, there's no way in hell he's shaving... the last time he shaved was 11/19. we're working on 4 weeks here. eep.

i'm not praying to the baby jesus anymore. he doesn't give a shit about me and the rugburns on my face. i'll try santa next.

dear santa:
all i want for xmas is for steve to shave his facial hair off. i've been very, very good. okay, fine. i haven't been very, very good. but i haven't been HORRIBLE. doesn't that count for something?
thanks, i owe you one.

i was talking to a friend last night for a bit and she said, " you know, reading your blog... it really seems like you really, really hate your job."

"i really, really do hate my job."
"why don't you quit?"
"i know this going to sound stupid, but, it's because of my boss."

i can't quit because i like my boss. so not only am i afraid that if i apply elsewhere they will reject me, but i'm afraid that my boss will be upset with me if i quit. which, really makes no sense at all because if i quit, it's not like i'm ever going to see him again. so, why would it matter if he was upset with me? at any rate, being rejected is only a tiny part of it. it's not the main reason why i don't leave.

and if for some reason, one day he should quit, would he even care that i was still here? well, one thing's for certain... the day he leaves, i'm out of here. he's pretty much the only reason why i'm still here.

guess i don't have loyalty tattooed on my back for nothing.

dream last night

i was visiting my bro at his school. we were on top of this snow covered hill... all of a sudden, he disappeared and i looked over the edge of this hill (which was looking more like a cliff) and then i slipped and fell... all the way to the bottom. i hit rocks and trees on the way down so i was all bruised up. i stood up and instead of wearing the big red jacket i was wearing when i was on the top of the hill, i was wearing a white tank top and white shorts. really short shorts. and i could see all the bruises.

i stood up and i was at my college. it didn't look like my college, but somehow, i just knew it was my college. i had to take a piss, so i went to the toilet, which was in the room. there was no door. and there was a big window. i could see out. i'm guessing the other side was a mirror or something because no one was really looking in or anything. and then i see people coming down the hill and somehow i know they're coming into my room. also, somehow, i just know it's a boys dorm. so i'm trying to hurry, but i can't pee. i mean, it's barely just trickling out...

so there i am, all exposed and as soon as the door opens, i wake up. come on! if that really happened, i would've stopped it mid-stream and gotten dressed. why am i so retarded in my dreams?

stupid seller at amazon

i bought a book as one of steve's xmas presents. it said that it was in very good condition. when i got it, it wasn't in very good condition. i mean, i wouldn't have listed that book as being in very good condition. maybe "fair" or "fine" or whatever their rating system is.... the color on the cover was kind of worn off, the back cover had a crease in the corner, that they'd so nicely straightened out for me... and it's so worn out.

so i sent the bitch an email and she basically just told me that if i don't want it, send it back. and it's too bad that my definition of "very good" is different from hers. the thing is, she wasn't necessarily rude about it. but I WANT HER TO KISS MY GODDAMNED ASS!

i've never had a bad experience with an amazon seller before...

so i'm kind of in a bind. she shipped it fast, but the book was in the wrong condition. do i give her a really bad rating? or an average one?

and why is it that some people, when they complain, get everything they ask for and then some. and when i complain, i get nothing. sheesh.

not that i really know what i want. it's not that i want the book for free. or anything like that. just an apology. is that too much to ask for? jeezus christ.

i mean, i checked the seller's rating before i bought it... 4.7 stars out of 5... not bad, right?

so, if you buy from amazon, don't purchase from booksdirect2u.com that's all i can say... i'm still thinking about the rating....

lesson #537

if for some reason you need to sneeze whilst shaving your legs, take the razor off your leg before it happens.

ouch. stupid, stupid, stupid.

day 2 without steve. i'm going through withdrawls. i may have to go visit him... he is only an hour away. i mean, when we were just dating, i would've gone to see him, even if i was tired... why would it be any different, right?

things i like about him not being home:
i can use all the hot water in the morning and not feel bad.
i can eat A LOT of kimchee at night and not feel bad that i'm all stinky.
i can fart whenever i feel like it.
i can giggle after i fart and not feel like a retard (especially because i'm laughing all by myself).
i don't have to go to the gym.
i can be as messy as i wanna be.
i have time to open all the xmas gifts and carefully retape them. (just kidding, steve. hehehe)

things i don't like about him being gone:
no lunchtime hugs and kisses.
no movies (believe me, if you saw all the wiring in our house, you wouldn't know how to watch a movie, either).
i have to squeegee the shower walls after showering.
i have to clean out the bunny's litter.
no one's home to scratch my back before i go to sleep (and i don't like those wooden back scratchy thingies).
it seems colder at home, even with the heater on.
the bunny won't come inside when he's not home.
no belly kisses.

there's more, but i'm too busy to finish my list...

GOD, i'm needy. hehe.


msn messenger (beta)

my boss just downloaded the latest messenger for msn. i typically use msn messenger at work... when i remember to log in.

he's going nuts with all the new things. i'll get like 3 or 4 "winks" in a row... and "nudges"

nudges make me want to throw up a little bit. it's like the "buzz" in yahoo messenger. makes the screen all shaky.

they've got this weird thing, though where some of the smileys and winks and such, you have to pay for. who the fuck is going to pay for them? they're insane.

ahhh, a night of solitude for me. leftovers for dinner, books to read, pikmin to play. not enough time!!!!

just another manic monday...

i feel like a lardass. i tried baking again on saturday. made another apple pie (thank god for those refrigerated crusts) and a chocolate cake. i kinda fucked it up. they were edible, at least.

fuck baking. stupid baking....

i've been swamped since i walked in the door this morning... and steve is out of town this week :(

it's not like he's far away or anything, but i still miss him. i'm too used to having him around, i guess. alone time is nice, but ... i dunno. *sigh* for some reason i miss him more than usual today.

maybe because work's sucking and i need a noon hug and kiss :(

last night i went to church with steve and his mom. it was the kid's christmas program.... it was so cute! for about 5 minutes. ya know, when your own kid's not involved and you're just watching a bunch of tone deaf, untalented kids putting on some skit, it's just not that interesting.

there was one boy who ... looked like he was a handful at home. just spazzing out all over the stage. and two of the girls looked like they watch too much britney at home. they're all shaking their hips and stuff... yeah... nothing like watching a bunch of 9 year olds shakin' their money makers.

what i thought was weird was, there were about 40 kids and only about 10 of them were boys. so many girls! in 10, 15 years, these girls are all going to be fighting each other for the affection of one of those boys. sad. like girls aren't catty and petty enough already.

i feel like eeyore today. guess it's another case of the monday blues.

good news, though... i'm not cooking xmas dinner anymore. i only wanted to do it to take a load off of steve's aunt. but i guess she's pretty set on doing it. woohoo! i just have to bring over one dish.

i think i will still have my family over on xmas eve, though. which will be nice because i won't have to make a turkey... oh, and we can now have kimchee on the dinner table, too :P hehe. mmmm, kimchee.... oh! and i can use my disposable dishes. hehehe.

so much pressure's off me now that his family won't be there. phew. i was really freaked out about the whole thing...

cripes. back to work for me :(



i feel a lot better now...

it was pretty shitty for a while, but it's okay. i feel like i can breathe now...

also, it's almost officially the weekend.

i have xmas shit to do:
wrap gifts
do xmas cards
finish buying xmas gifts
wrap those gifts
practice baking a cake
ship gifts out

i still need to:
get my car washed
take clothes to dry cleaners
clean bunny's ... uhm. stuff...
clean in general

i'll be lucky if i just get the xmas cards and the gift wrapping done. i just want to sleep, eat, shit, play pikmin. not necessarily in that order.

steve's going to be gone all next week... i'm a little sad :( but on the up side, i'll be able to wrap his gifts in secret... nosey little bastard. :P

i love when my boss gets little gifts from his customers. he usually gives them to me. mmm. cheeses and chocolates and other random tastiness for me :D

happy weekend! :)

today is shite

i can't even begin to explain how much today sucks ass.

it's 3:30. and i can't stay late tonight. i have babysitting duties. christ.

is it xmas yet? i need the time off.

on the happy side, we watched dodgeball last night. it was pretty effin' funny. i decided that i like ben stiller better when he's playing over the top characters like zoolander or the guy in this movie than when he's playing the normal guy like in there's something about mary.

i didn't know that christine taylor and ben stiller were married... man, she looks like marcia. i didn't know she played marcia in the brady bunch movie until last night.

oh, and btw, you will NEVER hear that song "milkshake" the same way again...

fuck me. back to work.


i think i may have this tattooed on my forehead. and if i don't have one there already, i should just get it done and over with...

last night, this cute little boy came by selling magazine subscriptions. steve was at the gym. shit. i knew i should've gone to the gym... but i was cooking dinner. so, he comes by, gives me the sell... and i buy it.

i got ripped off. of course.

why couldn't it have been an ugly obnoxious kid that came over??? then i probably wouldn't have had a problem telling him i wasn't interested. but he was so charming and cute. god, i hate that kid. if i ever see him in my neighborhood, i'm going to... probably do nothing and scurry off.

i sent off a cancellation letter today. i hope he doesn't know it was me. fuck, why do i even care???

just one more reason why we can't have kids. i will never be able to say no to them and they'll turn out to be little spoiled brats.

steve, you may want to get me a "no solicitors" sign for our front door. i'm going to need it next week when you're gone.


there's nothing worse than listening to co-workers discuss movies. or anything pop culture for that matter.

don't get me wrong. i can't remember titles of movies, quotes from movies, actors and actresses names, etc... but i can tell the difference between a good movie and a bad movie....

and another thing, don't fucking ask me my opinion on movies you want to see if you already have a preconceived notion of it... and you're just going to look at me with a sneer on your face and tell me that i'm weird. what, i'm weird because i DON'T think tom cruise is good looking? or because i think he's overrated? because i'm not a big fan of george clooney? because i have no desire to see jennifer lopez and richard gere dance in some stupid ass movie? because i think "closer" will be a good movie? because i watch anime? because i HAVEN'T read the da vinci code or anything by sue grafton? OH. and just because i've not read the da vinci code, it doesn't mean i don't fucking read. OH. and another thing... just because "closer" has infidelities in it... it doesn't mean i want to cheat on steve. jesus christ.

when "i am sam" was out, i overheard someone say, "i am sam was the best indie flick i've ever seen." for the last time, people, "i am sam" is NOT an indie flick! fuck sean penn! he's fucking overrated, too. and i'm sorry... bill murray should've gotten the oscar, NOT him.

i have to deal with these uncultured pricks every day.

and i get my earbuds untangled finally, and my fucking cd player in my computer doesn't work right now. shit! internet radio... must find... good station....

leftovers for lunch

i love having leftovers for lunch... especially today....

steve brought home some thai green curry from trader joe's. christ, how i love that store. you can pick up anything off their shelves and you never have to worry that it might taste bad. the only bad thing about it is if not enough people buy something, they'll stop carrying it... but i guess it's not such a bad thing. makes more room for more tastiness...

they have this great basmati rice milk. i was a little concerned at first... i mean, it just sounds wrong. but it's really good... you can also pick up good beer and wine there for cheap. besides that charles shaw. i HATE that "wine." it's such shit! i won't go into that again, though.

if i ever get fired for the shit i say on my site about work, i'm applying to work there...

the simple life 2: drinking game

last night, we got disc 1 of the simple life 2. i think nicole is funny as fuck... paris on the other hand, well, let's just say she's not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

at any rate, steve and i were drinking (lightly, i swear) and so we started taking a drink each time paris or nicole said "that's hot" or "loves it" or "do you love it?" boy... that adds up.

since i'm a lightweight, i didn't do a shot each time like we were planning on doing, i just took a sip of my drink. but, anyone who knows steve, knows he makes some strong ass drinks...

i was SO buzzed... i only remember some of what i was saying last night... and it was something like:

meh... where'd my other bunny slipper go? can you kiss my belly? oh, and scratch my back? oh, i have a knot in my shoulder. it's a knotty knot. hehehe. knotty. hehehe. sounds like naughty. hehehe. i only want you to do 3 things for me tonight. yeah. can you get me some water? can you find my bunny slipper? oooh, those christmas tree lights are pretty. KISS MY BELLY!

i don't know what my fascination with belly kisses was yesterday. but that damned beard was tickling me. i'm ticklish. it sucks.

steve thinks i'm crazy. or as he likes to say, "i KNOW you're crazy."

at any rate, i woke up and i had bags under my eyes. i don't know if this is true, but this girl at work told me that if i drink a lot of water before i go to sleep, i'll get bags under my eyes. i'm starting to believe her. it seems to happen every time. maybe it's all psychosomatic. but i had to drink water. i was thirsty. something about heavy breathing makes me thirsty :P muwahaha...


the world's BEST bad movie!!!!

revenge of the ninja (1983). we caught the last half hour or so in melbourne. we couldn't figure out what the movie was because we missed the credits somehow.

anyway, it kicks so much ass!

bad acting, bad plot, bad screenplay.

but, god it's just SO bad that it's oh, so good...

the basic premise is a man and his son (who's only like 8 years old) are being chased for some reason by some guys... anyway, whatever. who needs a plot??? they kick much ass. and that's all that matters. i need to purchase this dvd.

disclaimer: if you're looking for a real ninja flick, don't watch this one.

happy, shiny people

piss me the fuck off...

there's this guy at work, who is always trying to chat me up. he passes my desk EVERY FUCKING DAY at least 4 times... coming into the office, going to lunch, coming back from lunch, and leaving the office. sometimes, i get lucky and he has to walk by my desk for various meetings, etc.

every time, he has to say something to me. and it can't just be "hi, how're you?"

he will stop. look at me for a few seconds and say, "you look different. did you do something to your hair?" or "what's the matter? are you okay?" "awwww, it can't be THAT bad!"

for your fucking information, happy smiley guy, i didn't do anything different, nothing's the matter, and YES it can fucking be THAT bad.

today he stopped, looked at me... and said, "you didn't do anything to your hair!" ha ha. fucking funny.

i know he's just a friendly guy. and he does it to everyone. but why does he always feel the need to try to "cheer me up" when he thinks i'm down? fuck! let me wallow in my fucking misery!

and when i'm moody, i for sure don't want to have to fake a smile just to make him go away.

call me stuck up, call me what you will, but i am NOT in the mood for this bullshit...

AND FUCK! someone's got some stupid jingly noisemaking thingie that's playing "deck the halls" ... on fucking repeat. my xmas spirit just went away completely.

dear baby jesus...

please make steve shave his beard off this weekend. please? i'll even go to church on sunday, if you do. i know, it's silly to try and make deals with you, but i'm desperate. ...

we're going on 3 weeks now... and it's hurting my face. rugburns on faces are never pretty. i know he mentioned to his friends that it was probably coming off this weekend... but i need a guarantee. he said "maybe" last weekend, too.

and why did you let my dad tell steve that it looked good. why???? do you hate me? is it because i don't tithe, go to church, read the bible or pray? i swear, i'll go this weekend. as for everything else, well... baby steps, jesus. baby steps.

oh, and while you're at it, please make sure that the beardoff never happens again. please?


the voices in my head

i am feeling... i dunno. blah.

i'm fucking moody. dunno why.

i feel like there's a lot of noise in my head. this cacophonous roar... it's not like i have voices talking to me, really... it's just more like lots of voices... uhm, making lots of noise. making it difficult to think. i can't keep anything straight right now.

i realize this is probably making me sound crazy right now.... whatthefuckever. i feel kind of like i'm out of control... not doing crazy shit. but more like ... aw, fuck it. i can't explain. i am losing my goddamned mind.

i know i'm stressed out because my left eye has not stopped twitching since i woke up this morning. it's kind of unnerving, as well. and steve said i was grinding my teeth last night in my sleep... yeah. something's up. i just don't know what yet.

had my last cooking class last night. it was nice. learned how to make the tastiest chocolate cake i've ever had... not too sweet.... i don't know if i should even attempt to make it, though. i am the world's worst baker. i've accepted it. embraced it, even.

this lady brought over bottles of wine for the class to share. nice gesture. however, it was charles shaw. just LOOKING at that wine gives me a headache. nothing gives me a worse headache than bad wine. i wouldn't even use charles shaw for cooking, let alone drinking.

go ahead. call me a wine snob. steve does it all the time. there are decent cheap wines out there, people. don't resort to drinking charles shaw and 2 buck chuck. for chrissakes! that shit will make you go BLIND! BLIND, I TELL YOU! it's like drinking popov vodka. just don't do it!

anyway, i can't help it that i went to school in wine country, now can i? so i was spoiled. sue me. i just can't get myself to drink shit. that's where i learned to drink wine and love it. oh, and the food there is so fantabulous. i miss it. steve doesn't see the allure of it. fine. whatever. call me a snob again and call it a day.

(and for the record, even though steve calls me a wine snob, he can't stomach charles shaw, either... and that man can drink ANYTHING.... so if you haven't tried it, ignore the hype. it's BAD. BAD. BAD.)

anyway, i think she may have been an alcoholic, though because she poured herself several FULL glasses. it's highly likely that she finished off a whole bottle by herself in less than 2 hours. what a lush. i wish i could handle my liquor like that.

at least i have an oatmeal creme pie for breakfast.

i just want to stay home and play pikmin 2 all day. is that so wrong? i almost have all 10,000 pokos...

i fucking hate my job. i hate these people. i hate their stupid fucking fake smiles.... i want to beat everyone. with a fucking baseball bat and a letter opener. those would be my weapons of choices. mostly because they're readily available. don't ask me why someone here has a baseball bat. i think it's here for me to beat other people with.


o, christmas tree....

here are some of my favorite ornaments...

i love stitch... and i love how he looks all petrified that he's getting a kiss... stitch reminds me of a little koala. a fuzzy blue koala. or a wombat. cute! :D

eeyore's got a liiiiitle candy addiction... he's my favorite pooh character.

rudolph! i don't think i need to say more...

and this really could be my favorite ornament... a fuzzy stitch.

mashimaro is our little star atop our tree...

and here's our tree... yes, it's little, but it has a lot of heart. for a fake tree, that is...

gmail kicks ass. sort of.

gmail used to be my only email account that i never got spam on. it was sweet!

stupid ass me told a friend the other day how i never get spam on my gmail account.

the next fucking day, i started getting spam in there. son of a bitch! why'd i open my stupid fucking mouth about it????

the last couple of days i've gotten 56 pieces of spam. what the fuck is that??? christ. i've already got a hotmail account, yahoo account, aol account, work account, and a couple of other accounts that i never check anymore.

how the fuck do those spammers find me????

don't make me open another account... *whimper*

how to dismantle an atomic bomb

finally got around to watching that SNL episode with luke wilson i *heart* him (leave me alone, jeanette... i'm html illiterate) and u2.

that was some funny ass shit... and btw, i want to have a threesome with the wilson brothers. i'll settle for just one, though. and then afterwards we can have a champagne brunch and i'll laugh and laugh because they're just so cute and funny...

uhmmmm... oh, yes. the post.

i forgot that i'd given u2's newest album a spin. i didn't think it was spectacular. i have every single one of u2's albums, but i wouldn't really consider myself a huge fan. but i do like them a lot.

i even like the in between albums when they didn't really sound like u2, like zooropa and pop.

sadly, they will never have another album like joshua tree ever again.

on the up side, though, this album sounds like u2... but not so much that it doesn't sound distinctive. (REM, anyone?)

i'm not sure if i want to give it another listen or if i want to never listen to it again. not that i dislike it. i just wasn't blown away. i guess i should give it another spin... everyone else seems to love it so... i have to find out what the appeal is.


now, this was a fun, kickass movie... i didn't see the original or read the manga on which this is based, so i don't know how close the movie adaptation is to the manga.

it's set in the future. the main character, deunan knute, is the key to preventing the human rebel group from destroying the peaceful society that was created on olympus with the bioroids (manmade humans). oh, she's also this kickass soldier.

at any rate, there are some flaws in the story line... so i couldn't like it more, but i really did enjoy it. the technical aspects of this movie are just gorgeous. beautiful movie. great fighting scenes. i'm going to say 4 stars...

steve told me that the guy who wrote the original manga (masamune shirow) is also the creator of ghost in the shell. that manga influenced the wachowski brothers in the making of the matrix.

how's that for kickass?

i wish i was cool enough to be a geek... steve's geek friends (i just *heart* them) are starting a movie club. i might not be cool enough to join, but at least i have the connections to watch the flicks! yes! i *heart* steve! :) he's my connection to the cool geek guys and i'm his connection into the asian clubs with the skanks :P what a fabulous relationship we have. hehe.


my daddy *updated*

so, i finished my second presentation for today so i thought i'd fuck around...

was looking at our australia pics again and i remembered something my dad said to me when they dropped by on saturday night...

"steve takes good pictures of you. you could be a model! boy, if people only saw your pictures, they'd think you were cute or something!"

thanks, daddy!

i love my daddy, though... even though he says fucked up shit. hmmm... i wonder who i take after :P

he used to introduce me to his friends, "this is grace, the ugly daughter."

i know (or i think i know. hehe) that he used to say that because he wanted to hear them say how cute i was and stuff... "no, no... your daughter's not ugly! how could you say such things to her!" because if he said, "this is grace, my cute daughter." they would think, "oh, god. he only thinks she's cute because she's his daughter..."

yeah. so in his own fucked up way, he was fishing for compliments...

one time this one friend (who was all into psychology and shit) was so mortified and gave my dad such a verbal beating... that my dad actually felt bad... made me come back down the stairs and asked me in front of the guy if he was making me feel bad... that was worse than him telling his friends that i'm ugly. heh...

my dad's the best, though. even if he does depend on me a little too much...

***and an update... my dad emailed me and he asked me for a favor. and he'd buy me a big dinner next time i see him.
me: i don't need a big dinner... don't worry about it...
dad: why? are you on a diet? you don't need to be on a diet. because guys like fat girls... not like obese. but fat. like you.

holy god. the man's going to give me a complex!***