12.08.2004

the voices in my head

i am feeling... i dunno. blah.

i'm fucking moody. dunno why.

i feel like there's a lot of noise in my head. this cacophonous roar... it's not like i have voices talking to me, really... it's just more like lots of voices... uhm, making lots of noise. making it difficult to think. i can't keep anything straight right now.

i realize this is probably making me sound crazy right now.... whatthefuckever. i feel kind of like i'm out of control... not doing crazy shit. but more like ... aw, fuck it. i can't explain. i am losing my goddamned mind.

i know i'm stressed out because my left eye has not stopped twitching since i woke up this morning. it's kind of unnerving, as well. and steve said i was grinding my teeth last night in my sleep... yeah. something's up. i just don't know what yet.

had my last cooking class last night. it was nice. learned how to make the tastiest chocolate cake i've ever had... not too sweet.... i don't know if i should even attempt to make it, though. i am the world's worst baker. i've accepted it. embraced it, even.

this lady brought over bottles of wine for the class to share. nice gesture. however, it was charles shaw. just LOOKING at that wine gives me a headache. nothing gives me a worse headache than bad wine. i wouldn't even use charles shaw for cooking, let alone drinking.

go ahead. call me a wine snob. steve does it all the time. there are decent cheap wines out there, people. don't resort to drinking charles shaw and 2 buck chuck. for chrissakes! that shit will make you go BLIND! BLIND, I TELL YOU! it's like drinking popov vodka. just don't do it!

anyway, i can't help it that i went to school in wine country, now can i? so i was spoiled. sue me. i just can't get myself to drink shit. that's where i learned to drink wine and love it. oh, and the food there is so fantabulous. i miss it. steve doesn't see the allure of it. fine. whatever. call me a snob again and call it a day.

(and for the record, even though steve calls me a wine snob, he can't stomach charles shaw, either... and that man can drink ANYTHING.... so if you haven't tried it, ignore the hype. it's BAD. BAD. BAD.)

anyway, i think she may have been an alcoholic, though because she poured herself several FULL glasses. it's highly likely that she finished off a whole bottle by herself in less than 2 hours. what a lush. i wish i could handle my liquor like that.

at least i have an oatmeal creme pie for breakfast.

i just want to stay home and play pikmin 2 all day. is that so wrong? i almost have all 10,000 pokos...

i fucking hate my job. i hate these people. i hate their stupid fucking fake smiles.... i want to beat everyone. with a fucking baseball bat and a letter opener. those would be my weapons of choices. mostly because they're readily available. don't ask me why someone here has a baseball bat. i think it's here for me to beat other people with.

8 Comments:

Blogger byheart76 said...

hey hun. as long as the voices do not make you do crazy things...its ok.

10:06 AM  
Blogger J. said...

No, you're not going crazy ... I know this is going to sound weird and usually I'm not very serious over here, but it's all part of being an introvert.

Also, maybe it's your hormones fluctuating ... PMS or something (seriously). When I'm having a bad PMDD month, my brain won't shut the hell up. The thoughts are random, flitting stuff and it irritates the piss out of me. PMS can change your sleeping patterns and everything.

Anyway. Back to the regularly scheduled program of funny commenting.

10:16 AM  
Blogger Kis Lee said...

re: eye twitching, take a magnesium supplement. i was watching some health show and the doc on there said that eye twitching may be a sign of magnesium deficiency.

i drink wine very rarely, but i always stay away from the cheap stuff. bad wine gives me a major headache.

10:39 AM  
Blogger Veronica said...

I grind my teeth in my sleep all the time. I've been told many times. Someone suggested I get a mouthguard. Umm... I don't know about that.

Yeah, Jeanette's probably right. I'm driving myself insane right now too. I blame PMS.

10:42 AM  
Blogger nobody said...

You sound like me. But I'm crazy. So, sorry.

Where did you go to school in the wine country? I was born & raised in Napa.

btw, how did you find my blog? just curious

11:11 AM  
Blogger grace said...

BY: miss you! :)

jeanette: dunno if it's hormones, it could be, though. fuck. i don't know.

LE: i need more magnesium? i think my multivitamin that i take daily takes care of the daily recommended dosage for mg.

v: i dunno about that mouthguard. i think it would make me gag. gross.

mt: found your blog because jeremy's was down. there was a single link on it which turned out to be the "next blog" button. and it took me to you. and no free advertising for my stupid ass school (although it would be pretty easy to google it, probably).

11:33 AM  
Blogger giest said...

Put the letter open into the baseball bat and paint the walls! There are sometimes that I want to do that to the tards that walk around my workplace.

6:44 AM  
Blogger David said...

You just inspired me to write a song:

I'm feeling blah, I dunno why.
I'm fucking moody, I dunno why...
[more later, working on it]

9:39 AM  

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