the voices in my head

i am feeling... i dunno. blah.

i'm fucking moody. dunno why.

i feel like there's a lot of noise in my head. this cacophonous roar... it's not like i have voices talking to me, really... it's just more like lots of voices... uhm, making lots of noise. making it difficult to think. i can't keep anything straight right now.

i realize this is probably making me sound crazy right now.... whatthefuckever. i feel kind of like i'm out of control... not doing crazy shit. but more like ... aw, fuck it. i can't explain. i am losing my goddamned mind.

i know i'm stressed out because my left eye has not stopped twitching since i woke up this morning. it's kind of unnerving, as well. and steve said i was grinding my teeth last night in my sleep... yeah. something's up. i just don't know what yet.

had my last cooking class last night. it was nice. learned how to make the tastiest chocolate cake i've ever had... not too sweet.... i don't know if i should even attempt to make it, though. i am the world's worst baker. i've accepted it. embraced it, even.

this lady brought over bottles of wine for the class to share. nice gesture. however, it was charles shaw. just LOOKING at that wine gives me a headache. nothing gives me a worse headache than bad wine. i wouldn't even use charles shaw for cooking, let alone drinking.

go ahead. call me a wine snob. steve does it all the time. there are decent cheap wines out there, people. don't resort to drinking charles shaw and 2 buck chuck. for chrissakes! that shit will make you go BLIND! BLIND, I TELL YOU! it's like drinking popov vodka. just don't do it!

anyway, i can't help it that i went to school in wine country, now can i? so i was spoiled. sue me. i just can't get myself to drink shit. that's where i learned to drink wine and love it. oh, and the food there is so fantabulous. i miss it. steve doesn't see the allure of it. fine. whatever. call me a snob again and call it a day.

(and for the record, even though steve calls me a wine snob, he can't stomach charles shaw, either... and that man can drink ANYTHING.... so if you haven't tried it, ignore the hype. it's BAD. BAD. BAD.)

anyway, i think she may have been an alcoholic, though because she poured herself several FULL glasses. it's highly likely that she finished off a whole bottle by herself in less than 2 hours. what a lush. i wish i could handle my liquor like that.

at least i have an oatmeal creme pie for breakfast.

i just want to stay home and play pikmin 2 all day. is that so wrong? i almost have all 10,000 pokos...

i fucking hate my job. i hate these people. i hate their stupid fucking fake smiles.... i want to beat everyone. with a fucking baseball bat and a letter opener. those would be my weapons of choices. mostly because they're readily available. don't ask me why someone here has a baseball bat. i think it's here for me to beat other people with.