never try to bring friends home for your bunny

i'm so fucking bored... so i was thinking about what my bunny's doing at home right now. man, what a sweet life she leads.

i think she's either flopped over on her side sleeping, or sitting in her little dirt pot. eh, she's probably sleeping. lazy little bunny.

she might be lonely, but ... i'm not going to find her a friend.

a few months back, we thought she might be lonely, so we went to the pound to see if we could find her any cute, compatible buddies. this is before she was fixed, by the way. apparently, male bunnies can smell female hormones and go absolutely ape-shit...

there's this bunny lady there who informs us that we can't put two female bunnies together because they get all territorial and possessive and it's just a bad idea. so, we put her in a pen with a boy bunny.

he sniffs the air and bam! he rapes her. he jumps up on top of her and starts going at it. our baby bunny buns is squished up against the cage wall as he's just raping her...

me: *screaming* get him off of her! oh my god! my poor virgin baby!!!
bunny lady: oh, it's okay. he's just trying to get to know her. it's normal.
me: oh my god! get him off of her!

BL thinks i'm completely mad and tries to get her with a different boy bunny. he's kind of old, so i think maybe this is a good thing. maybe he'll just leave her alone. uhm. no. he was even more aggressive... leaps on top of her and starts raping her, too.

me: *screaming* make him stop!!!!
BL: this is normal behavior...
me: i don't care!!!! oh... my poor baby.... my poor virgin baby...
BL: well, technically, she's still a virgin because they've all been fixed

yeah, whatever, lady.

we tried one more time... she was kinda cuddling with him... and then he jumps on her and starts doing her, too... except he was confused... i guess he was into 69. a lot. he's totally fucking her poor face.

after that traumatic experience, we never brought her back to the pound... BL kept trying to tell me that no matter what we do, that's going to happen... there's not a single male bunny who won't try to rape her.

fine, then. she didn't like any of those old, ugly bunnies anyway.

anyway, back to be being ronery, i gotta see team america. i really, really do. i wonder if kim jong-il's seen that movie yet? i know he's always wanted to be a shining star.

is it normal to have a numb wrist? i don't think it is.

today is my last day of freedom. next week i'm actually going to have to work. plus it's month-end, so i'll be super busy. i'm so sad.

i'm going to get my christmas money today. yay! that means i can actually get xmas presents. i just wanna get it over with. i hate shopping. i hate dealing with malls and people and crowds. but i can't do it all online. it's a shame.

and steve's the hardest to shop for. a friend mentioned several really good ideas ... but i think i'm going to stick with the original plan...

damn... i wish it was time to go home. guess i'll look online and see if i can find any cool hotels to stay in while we're in australia. i never find the cool ones, though. i don't know how steve does.


Blogger Wayne said...

I saw Team America.. and I was like..."Uhhhhh...." there are funny moments, and there were jokes that just totally, too much... Hrm... Hrm.... Just don't bring any kids to see that movie...

4:31 PM  
Blogger Amber_sun said...

Poor Bunny Baby! Don't be mad at me Gracie but I had to laugh. Ohmygoodness! :)

5:23 PM  
Blogger Kis Lee said...

poor bunny. I think I would have been upset, too.

Yeah, i want to see Team America. the previews look hilarious, esp. Kim Jong.

5:55 PM  
Blogger Yankeebob said...

Your poor bunny! Is it true that the males will always try to boink the females even when they are fixed? Bummer for her, I guess. That last one was a bit on the kinky side. Sheesh!

Good luck next week. Sounds like you'll need it.

3:23 PM  
Blogger Mel Mega said...

I'm with Wayne. I saw Team America. It was okay. Go to a matinee or if you have free passes or something. It would be a waste to spend $10 on it...

5:45 PM  
Blogger American Blogger said...

Hamsters are just as bad. When i was growing up we had a male and female hamster. It was bad! Forget rape, try murder! We put them in a cage together and half an hour later there was blood like smeared all in the side of the glass and stuff. I guess their mating is much worse :(

10:21 AM  
Blogger Agent_LAH said...

I'm sorry about your bunny. I was trying to hold in the laughter, but failed miserably. I wish I could have seen you screaming, "My poor virgin baby!" Thanks for the laugh.

10:21 AM  

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