is it only tuesday?

it feels like it should be friday. oh crap. i forgot i'm not at work this friday. this might be the first time in my entire life that i'd rather be at work. how effed up is that???

and why does my pee still smell like asparagus pee? i didn't eat that much asparagus last night. i probably had 6 little stalks. maybe 16 hours ago. what the hell??? it's so gross... and someone walked into the stall right after i did. hah! serves them right. just because i hate everyone at work.

actually, i don't think i've ever seen this woman before. i swear, every day i see someone new... and they've been here longer than i have. and i've been here for almost 4 years. holy crap. i need a new job.

except when steve sends me new job listings and such, i never apply... i just can't leave my boss. i know, it sounds stupid. i can't help it. i don't have the heart or the nerve to tell him i'm leaving. but, the day i hear he's leaving, i'm gone. i could not stand this place without him.

i was reading the paper at lunch. at the end of the calendar section in the LA Times, there's a section for kids. kids are so stupid. they have this joke section that kids send in. every day i look at it and i say, "kids are so fucking stupid. these jokes aren't even funny!" and "damn, if we have kids, we're not sending in jokes for the kids. i don't care how funny they think they are." steve just lets it go with a "yes, dear."

today's joke was something about what do witches request at a hotel or something stupid like that. and the answer was: a broom with a view.

bah dum bum... ching!

yeah. i hated that joke today. i guess i don't have to read the crappy joke section. but i can't help it. it's like a train wreck. i just have to look. glutton for punishment, i guess.


Blogger Cindy-Lou said...

I saw a really funny Camry commercial last night, where the driver tells one of those stupid kid jokes (why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine) and all the guys laugh like it's hilarious, but the driver is all annoyed because he knows they're just kissing his ass because he's the boss.

1:54 PM  
Blogger Nina said...

Stinky pee is no good. Asparagus will do it to you every time. Did you know that asparagus is a member of the lily family? I wouldn't eat any of those either if I were you.

3:28 PM  
Blogger Jeremy said...

This post fills me with giggles. The fact that you feel drawn to the stupid joke section in the paper--and get angry because they're stupid...that's funny! Really, coming from sources that think the word "booger" has inherent comedy value, you can't expect much.

9:46 PM  
Blogger Quyen said...

Q. How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. It doesn't matter, but the bulb needs to realize the need to change first.

Ba dum Bah!

10:13 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Hey wait a second. Since when are boogers no longer funny?

8:17 AM  
Blogger grace said...

mike: boogers never stopped being funny. never.

10:00 AM  
Blogger David said...

Cindy: Yeah I saw that commercial, I didn't get it at first but then it was actually pretty funny, not because of the joke, but because of what it says right after the joke "The first time you had your butt kissed" and plus the face of the guy who knows his ass is being kissed. Anyway...

Grace: Do you smell your pee? LMAO. Good luck with that.


-Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your

-On a Septic Tank Truck sign: "We're #1 in the #2

-On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband

-At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you
send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."

10:07 AM  
Blogger J. said...

I remember finding out when I was about 14 that my mom wiped her boogers under the driver's seat of her car. I was horrified. Then when I started driving I refused to adjust the seat.

10:12 AM  
Blogger Amber_sun said...

more stupid kid jokes
What's red and green and goes 100 mph?

A frog in a blender.

What's red, green and brown and goes 100 mph?

The same frog a week later.

Why did the turtle cross the road?

He was stapled to the chicken! Good night, everyone!

7:08 PM  

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