9.27.2004

ergonomics

3 men just came up to check out my workstation.

they're going to recommend that i get a port rep, usb keyboard, keyboard tray... lower my desk...

this better work. i'm tired of my shoulders being as hard as fucking rocks. the chiropractor and acupuncturist were both mortified at the condition of my shoulders and back...

awww, fuck. the guy who is here at my desk right now and who's about to put the keyboard tray on... is this stalker dude.

fuck.

when i first started working here 4 years ago, he used to come by my desk every single day... believe it or not, i was nice then...

anyway, he would come by every day and i'd be nice and polite to him... one day he tries to ask me on a date:

stalker dude: uhm, do you like rice?
me: i kinda grew up with it, so yeah, i like it...
SD: uhm, there's this persian place and they have lots of rice there... do you want to go with me sometime?
me: uhm, thanks, but i don't think that would be a good idea...
SD: uhm, so, what about dinner? they have belly dancers there... huh huh huh...
me: uhm, thanks... but i still don't think that would be a good idea...
SD: okay...

and then he proceeded to come every day for a week and ask me to lunch and dinner... and every day, in the nicest way possible, i would turn him down... well, i thought i was turning him down, but apparently, he thought he had a chance because i didn't just say, "no, get the fuck away from me."

finally, he confronts me in my cube and says, "look, if you don't want to go out with me, just say no... it's not like i'm going to get mad or anything."

so i looked him in the eye and said, "okay, then... no... thanks."

he then starts yelling at me. i was mortified...

SD: well, if you didn't want to go out with me, why didn't you just say so? you're just leading me on and you're a tease! blah, blah, blah...

he was literally yelling at me... i was dumbfounded and completely speechless. (and i was a nice to everyone at work, back then...) so... i just sat there... frozen... and then he stormed off...

in a way, i was relieved, but in a way, i was thinking, "how fucking dare he????"

i avoided him... avoided all eye contact with him for months...

after a couple of months, i decided that i was being rude, so i decided to say hi to him again the next time i saw him. what a fucking mistake. i said hi to him once and he was back on my ass... coming by my cube every fucking day, and hinting that he'd like to go out for lunch or dinner or something. so i had to start ignoring him again...

so now, i have my notebook here (thank god for wireless access) in my boss' secretary's cube...

he's just creepy, man... i can't explain it...

10 Comments:

Blogger David said...

"Do you like rice?" What the hell is that. I haven't tried that line to get a girl to go out with me yet. And I really don't think it'll work on anyone.

Yeah that guy's a freak. Have you mentioned that you're married? Or maybe you can make sure he sees your ring when he's around, or a wedding pic in your desk or just tell him to back the fuck off. LOL.

Good luck!

4:39 PM  
Blogger Kis Lee said...

sounds like you need a can of mace or pepper spray. what a jackass.

4:52 PM  
Blogger grace said...

oh, to clarify... this is before i even met steve...

4:55 PM  
Blogger genetic mishap said...

SD is freaky-deaky.

"Do you like rice?" has to be THE LAMEST come on line I have ever heard. Maybe you should have said "Yeah, do you like bread?" or something equally lame. But that would be continuing the conversation which would the lamest thing of all.

5:27 PM  
Blogger American Blogger said...

Not to self - when trying to pick up korean chick don't open up with 'do you like rice'?

LMAO

7:19 PM  
Blogger Sean said...

Must've been like asking a Mexican "Do you like tortillas?" Or an Italian "Do you like pasta?" Or an Irishman/woman "Do you like alcohol?"

What you SHOULD HAVE asked him is "Do you, like, have a life?"

7:34 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

I know you're going to wish I hadn't mentioned this, but a guy like this probably doesn't get so much as the time of day from most women, nevermind pretty ones.

I shutter to think of all the times he's thought of you while...well I just can't even type it. Ugh. But I wonder if its stopped. I'm just saying be on the lookout for any missing personal effects, if you catch my drift.

I know. Sorry.

8:12 PM  
Blogger The Hobo said...

If he comes back again you should shout the motherfucker down and threaten him with all manner of legal action if he doesn't fuck off that very second! I guarantee he will never darken your cubicle ever again.

2:38 AM  
Blogger Kis Lee said...

Mike K: ewww, man, that's gross!

Grace: better keep an eye on your stuff.

9:59 AM  
Blogger grace said...

oh, jeezus... that's nasty. mike, sometimes, i hate you.

10:33 AM  

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