man, another fucked up dream

i was writing in a friend's blog about this jerk boyfriend she has... and i just remembered last night's dream.

i wasn't married to The Most Fabulous Man in the world as i am in real life. we were dating. but then Psycho came back into my life. and for some reason, i couldn't just tell Psycho off and get rid of him. so Psycho took it as a sign that i wanted him around. and then steve thought that i didn't want him anymore so he left me. and i didn't want him to, but he left because he thought i'd chosen Psycho. now, we all know that i would NEVER fucking do that in real life. i would make it clear that i wouldn't want to have anything to do with Psycho. i have no idea where this dream came from.

and it was weird. we were in a log cabin or something and he was acting like a normal human being instead of a monster. it was well, creepy. and i knew something bad was going to happen. i knew it was a dream, but i couldn't wake up. and because nothing horrible was happening, i didn't make any noises, i guess... usually, steve wakes me up when i make those nightmare noises.

and Psycho kept on trying to convince me that he'd changed and i was really paranoid and scared. and steve wasn't in the house, he was lurking outside, but i couldn't leave the house for some reason. and steve wasn't making a move to come inside. so this whole dream was me being scared in some cabin, Psycho inside acting like a normal person, and steve outside.

what a fucked up dream. even though nothing really happened, i'm still disturbed. i guess whenever Psycho enters my dreams, i get disturbed. it's just so wrong. fuck. i wish he'd die already.

normally when i have dreams about Psycho, they're of him chasing me or threatening me or whatever... awful nightmares... and sometimes he's singing "Half a Person" by the Smiths.

Call me morbid, call me pale
I've spent six years on your trail
Six full years of my life on your trail....

it's coming up on 6 years now. i'm just a little scared. not the kind of fear that paralyzes you, but it's just a tad unnerving.

i love that song and i try not to let him ruin it for me. but he's a big smiths fan, too. it wouldn't be unlike his melodramatic personality to wait for six years just to make it poetic.

what a fucking psycho. and i'm a goddamned headcase because of him.
believe it or not, i'm so much better now than i used to be! hehe...