man, another fucked up dream

i was writing in a friend's blog about this jerk boyfriend she has... and i just remembered last night's dream.

i wasn't married to The Most Fabulous Man in the world as i am in real life. we were dating. but then Psycho came back into my life. and for some reason, i couldn't just tell Psycho off and get rid of him. so Psycho took it as a sign that i wanted him around. and then steve thought that i didn't want him anymore so he left me. and i didn't want him to, but he left because he thought i'd chosen Psycho. now, we all know that i would NEVER fucking do that in real life. i would make it clear that i wouldn't want to have anything to do with Psycho. i have no idea where this dream came from.

and it was weird. we were in a log cabin or something and he was acting like a normal human being instead of a monster. it was well, creepy. and i knew something bad was going to happen. i knew it was a dream, but i couldn't wake up. and because nothing horrible was happening, i didn't make any noises, i guess... usually, steve wakes me up when i make those nightmare noises.

and Psycho kept on trying to convince me that he'd changed and i was really paranoid and scared. and steve wasn't in the house, he was lurking outside, but i couldn't leave the house for some reason. and steve wasn't making a move to come inside. so this whole dream was me being scared in some cabin, Psycho inside acting like a normal person, and steve outside.

what a fucked up dream. even though nothing really happened, i'm still disturbed. i guess whenever Psycho enters my dreams, i get disturbed. it's just so wrong. fuck. i wish he'd die already.

normally when i have dreams about Psycho, they're of him chasing me or threatening me or whatever... awful nightmares... and sometimes he's singing "Half a Person" by the Smiths.

Call me morbid, call me pale
I've spent six years on your trail
Six full years of my life on your trail....

it's coming up on 6 years now. i'm just a little scared. not the kind of fear that paralyzes you, but it's just a tad unnerving.

i love that song and i try not to let him ruin it for me. but he's a big smiths fan, too. it wouldn't be unlike his melodramatic personality to wait for six years just to make it poetic.

what a fucking psycho. and i'm a goddamned headcase because of him.
believe it or not, i'm so much better now than i used to be! hehe...


Blogger julia said...

you poor thing. i'll protect you from psycho.. but i'm sure your hubby (the most fabulous man in the world) could take care of him..

10:41 AM  

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