the sun's shining

the birds are singing, the weather's finally warmer...

and i'm still in a funk. i don't know what the deal is. maybe i need something to look forward to. i feel so ... i don't actually know. i just know that i'm down.

yesterday when i walked out of work, it wasn't raining. about halfway to my car, it starts drizzling. by the time i got to my car, it was really started to rain. i got inside and as soon as i slammed the door shut, it stopped raining.

if you've ever watched the smurfs, i kinda felt like gargamel when he's being chased by the rain cloud.

i still feel like that this morning. it's all nice and beautiful out, but i still feel like it's raining. fuck, the only thing i'm missing is the lightning bolts striking my ass. or maybe that's why my ass has been numb. stupid butt. i feel like cutting it off.

(btw, the reason why my butt's numb is because my chair is uncomfortable. i have one of those stupid ergonomic chairs and everything.)

everything makes me want to cry. i hit my shin last night and i thought i was going to lose it right there. but i held it together... barely... this morning i was sitting on the floor after i got my shoes on and just sat there. trying not to cry. i don't know what's wrong with me. it was just such a chore to get up out of bed. maybe i'll feel better later.

so, my apologies. i wish i could just say i'm being hormonal. but i'm not. i'm just down. and i have no fucking idea why. i wish i could just shake it off like other people... normal people... and be in a good mood because i have nothing to be depressed about. i entertained the thought that maybe i was down because my bday's coming up, but i thought about it and i don't really care.

steve, i'm sorry i'm like this. i can't help it. it's the bon blood, i guess. heh. :(


Blogger Quyen said...

"stupid butt. i feel like cutting it off."

That is hilarious.

Anyway, I hope you feel better :) I know how you feel. You'll shake it off... it's just a matter of time... try giving it a nudge with a nice dinner out somewhere :)

10:24 AM  
Blogger Kiss Me Im Italian said...

You and Steve should take a little trip up to Monterey this weekend. We can pry Jules away from her new munchkin...I mean man (Love you Jules ;)then we can all go out get some sushi and get really shit faced. It will be great!

10:34 AM  
Blogger julia said...

my new munchkin?? i'm going to kick your butt larry!!!

yeah yeah.. you guys should come down.. :) except, i'm busy on monday.. huh huh. hmmph, hanging out with my munchkin.

10:42 AM  
Blogger J. said...

Oh my hell, I laughed my butt off about your cutting butt off remark. Sheet, woman, even when you're down you're hilarious as a monkey on a rain drain. LOL.

I think you're ovulating. :p

Do you get Monday off? MLK day?

11:02 AM  
Blogger peachy said...

Sorry to hear you're down Grace. I don't have any suggestions. Maybe you could go to a pottery class and make something. :)

See..I told you I had no ideas. I don't know what's up, but I hope you figure it out soon. I know how you feel. I get like that sometimes too.

11:07 AM  
Blogger Ian said...

Pottery class? After three, everybody...

(sings) "Oh...my love...my dar-ar-ling...I hun-ger for..your touch..."

11:20 AM  
Blogger Amber_sun said...

No words of wisdom today...
Just platitudes...but sincere ones...
This too shall pass.
And remember people think of you, wish you well and care. Hokey but true.

11:24 AM  
Blogger Nina said...

I just heart you Grace. I'm sorry you're in the dumper. If there is anything I can do to help, let me know. I can tell you some really bad jokes...that would probably make you more depressed though.

It will pass. Don't worry.:)

1:34 PM  
Blogger Mel Mega said...

Dude! I am sooo feeling you on that one. Umm...perhaps we should get together and cry into some frosty mugs of beer? I should be in my new place this weekend sometime...you could come over and we can drinks massive amounts of champagne and play 90's Trivial Pursuit? I will even let you be the mini Kurt Cobain...Hang in there! Hope you feel better. Call me if you need a beer or a steak or something.

3:55 PM  
Blogger Caballero Oscuro said...

should i be concerned that mel mega is offering you hot beef? :P

4:53 PM  
Blogger Mel Mega said...

HAHAHA!!! You should never worry when it comes to me, Steve!! hehehe...

*winks evilly*

10:49 AM  

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