it's sunday and i'm online...

i almost never get on the computer on weekends. it's just so brutal! i mean, i'm on the computer 9-10 hours a day straight at work. sometimes i get to take a lunch! but, i don't typically like to look at the screen during ME time. but i'm on... and it's for a good reason.

i'm loading up some maps onto my new GPS system! a friend got me a navman icn510 for my birthday. it's a little early, but she lives far away, and since we saw each other recently, she wanted to give it to me in person. what a nice gift. she knows that i have NO FUCKING SENSE OF DIRECTION... i could go to a place maybe 3 times and still not know where the fuck i am and how the fuck i got there.

and steve does nothing to help the matter. he'll take different routes to a place for the first fucking 10 times we go someplace. and he expects me to be able to find it again? what is he, insane? i'm sorry, i wasn't a fucking boy scout. i just recently learned that in the northern hemisphere, moss grows on the north side of the trees. interesting tidbit. although, it's not really that useful seeing as how i'm a city girl and there isn't any moss on the trees here. but next time i get lost in the woods, i will try to remember that instead of freaking out.

but to be honest, even though i know that moss grows on the north side of trees, i am not sure that will help me... because, i wouldn't have known which direction i came from.

i'm fucking hopeless.

at any rate, i have this cool new portable gps system. so i was on the computer loading up maps. of course i only have a 128mb SD card... so i could only put southern cal, central cal (which includes napa, THANK GOD) and nevada in it... (for my next trip to vegas... which WILL be full of debauchery, goddamnit!) maybe i should get a bigger card. eh. fuck it. i can always delete shit if i need to.

so, i'm really hoping that this will help me get to where i'm trying to go. just yesterday, i went to get my hair trimmed and then went to the acupuncturist. however, i never went to the acupuncturist going south on the 5 before. so i got lost. i know. it's really sad.

and you know what fucking drives me insane??? when we're driving along and steve asks me which direction we're heading. in the middle of the day. so i have no sun to guide me! how the fuck am i supposed to know that? and he says: "well, which direction is the beach?"

WHAT??? which fucking direction is the fucking beach? how the fucking hell am i supposed to fucking know this? it's to the west! but i don't know which way west is! am i supposed to stick my dog nose out and smell for saltwater? and then he gets all flustered and points in whichever direction west is supposed to be. he could be lying, too. and i'd never fucking know.

ooh, but now i will! i *heart* my navman. i'll still keep my trusty thomas guide around, though. you never know with this newfangled technology.


Blogger Cindy-Lou said...

That is so funny, I totally use the beach as a guide. I know which direction I'm headed solely because I know which way the beach is. Steve's cool.

10:50 AM  
Blogger Ian said...

And the sun - don't forget the sun. Rises in the east, sets in the west, directly overhead at noon. We'll make you into a tracker yet...

11:46 AM  
Blogger Yankeebob said...

Grace, you crack me up. Sounds like traveling with you could be an adventure. That Navman sounds like the perfect gift for you.

BTW, wlecome to Sunday blogging.

1:23 PM  
Blogger Cece said...

I totally hear you. And Roy ALWAYS desigates me as the navigator. I HATE being the navigator!

8:18 PM  
Blogger Agent_LAH said...

My Soul Sister! I'm the worst at directions...the worst. I can't read a map for shit. A driver asks me how far until the next exit and say about 2 and a half inches! I love Mapquest...where it tells you every single turn starting from your driveway. Now THOSE are my kind of directions.

9:25 PM  
Blogger grace said...

nice to know i'm not alone!!!

i'm so excited about the navman. i'm so going to use it on my way to work tomorrow....

9:42 PM  
Blogger peachy said...

I used to have a GPS, but I couldn't figure out how to use it, so I sold it. I like the regular maps, and I don't like getting lost.

I wouldn't want to go on an adventure with you Grace if I couldn't take a map with me. You'd make me sit on the side of the road, and never return.

4:49 AM  
Blogger Veronica said...

"am i supposed to stick my dog nose out and smell for saltwater?"

Too fucking funny!! :oP

7:48 AM  
Blogger J. said...

I have a lady that goes with me everywhere I go. She sits on top of my dash. Go here to see a picture of her. She talks to me and tells me when I'm "off route." I also have one of those rear view mirrors that tell me the temperature and direction.

11:20 AM  
Blogger grace said...

damn, jeanette, you got the fancy, schmancy one! :P

11:31 AM  
Blogger Mel Mega said...

I can't get the mental image of you sticking your head out the window to smell for sea water outta my head. You are too silly. I can't comprehend, though. I have inherited my father's impeccable sense of direction. Plus I have an excellent memory, so I usually remember how to get someplace based on what is around. Of course the flip side to this is that I have no where to go and no one to see. Lotta good that stupid sense of direction does me!

9:00 AM  

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