i hate public restrooms, part ???

so i go to the restroom. i walk in and this lady is brushing her teeth, but with every stroke, she's gagging. her face is like right next to the faucet and she's gagging. it was weird. at any rate, i go into the only empty stall. and the lady who just walked out just took a NASTY shit. not that she left me any presents in the bowl or anything... but it just STANK. i'm not saying my shit don't stink. but man, it was gross. it's one thing to have to smell your own shit, but someone else's??? EW.

i have a hard time peeing in public anyway, but with the constant gagging noise and the really strong shit smell, i just couldn't do it. finally they walk out... and it's pretty quiet. and in the stall next to me, this lady is whispering to herself. maybe she's praying. i don't fucking know. all i know is that i can't fucking concentrate enough to pee in public even when there aren't crazy ass people next to me!

i wish i had my own private restroom. at least they should put full doors on the stalls. jeezus. i hate being able to see who's coming into the restroom when i'm in the stall. and i hate that when people walk in, they can say, "hi, grace!" because they can SEE ME THROUGH THE CRACKS. couldn't they at least have the fucking decency to NOT LOOK IN THE STALLS??? if the door's shut, it means there's someone IN IT.



Blogger Veronica said...

Ha! I can just imagine walking by a stall and saying, "Hi Grace!" Some people are just unbelievable! I'm so glad its only my supervisor and I that share a bathroom.

2:07 PM  
Blogger julia said...

blech.. i just ate..

2:24 PM  
Blogger Ian said...

Veronica - you mean like Mr Burns & Smithers...?

2:44 PM  
Blogger giest said...

Meh. Just start screaming and grunting. Guaranteed they won't talk to you in the bathroom anymore...maybe not ever...hehe.

2:52 PM  
Blogger Mel Mega said...

Must I reference my essay on courtesy flushing AGAIN!?!? GAH! I hate that! There is nothing worse than having to smell someone else's poo!! ACK!

One of our housekeepers here talks on her cell phone while she is in the bathroom. It freaks me out.

From now on, I am totally going to just yell "Hi Grace!" whenever I use a public bathroom. That is too funny!

3:05 PM  
Blogger Veronica said...

Hahah! No, silly Ian. My supervisor and I are the only two females in our office so we get a whole bathroom to ourselves. Three stalls and two women, not bad.

The seven men in our office share the other bathroom.

3:35 PM  
Blogger grace said...

v: LUCKY!!!!

ian: hehe. too funny. i can't picture v as smithers, but it's funny to try :P

giest: yeah... i like to be known as anti-social at work, not certifiably insane. :P

mel: seeing as how you live in so. cal. you'd probably get some people answering back, "yeah?" as you know, there are a heckuva lot of korean graces around....

v: again... LUCKY! (have you seen napoleon dynamite yet???)

3:41 PM  
Blogger Yankeebob said...

I'm definitely going to start yelling "Hey Grace" every time I use a public toilet from now on. This will be fun.

4:55 PM  
Blogger genetic mishap said...

funny post. I also have trouble peeing in public. If I have to take a shit, forget about it. I would rather be uncomfortable all day and wait till I get home.

Also, I am not convinced that courtesy flushes actually DO anything to help the smell. All it does is show someone else that you are trying your best, which is something at least.

4:59 PM  
Blogger Veronica said...

Nope, not yet. It's next on my queue on Netflix but apparently it has a long wait. I may have to just drive my lazy ass to a Blockbuster.

6:00 PM  
Blogger Jeremy said...

My situation is the opposite of Veronica's. There are only four men in my office, and about twenty women. Unfortunately, the women use the men's bathroom as well...they have no shame, just go in and use it. Fortunately the bathrooms are the kind where there is only a room with a toilet/sink...so only one person can use it at a time. No stall-peekers, no gagging, minimal smell. I feel for you Grace.

7:04 PM  
Blogger Ian said...

I'm going to write a sitcom about guys who clean public toilets and call it "Hi Grace!"...

9:36 PM  
Blogger J. said...

Yea! A bathroom post. My favorite type of post from Grace. FYI, my 2nd favorite are the driving posts. Heh. And my 3rd? Well, you know, doggy posts. :p

10:29 AM  
Blogger zencomix said...

Hey, it could be worse....you could be a guy trying to piss in a urinal, and it's crowded in there and there are no partions between the urinals, and the guy next to you doesn't aim so good and he's splashing and splattering all over the place....or you could be in Fenway Park, where they don't even have urinals, just troughs that line the walls...

7:12 PM  

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