10.19.2004

you know you're from cali, if...

1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none are visible
2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English
4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze
5. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian
9. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?
10. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears
11. A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast
12. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
13. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotch less chaps, and you don't even notice,
14. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney
15. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment
16. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S & M, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
17. You can't remember... is pot illegal?
18. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH"
19. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 PM Tae Bo class
20. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers
21. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents
22. Hey!!!! Is Pot Illegal????
23. Both you AND your dog have therapists
24. The Terminator is your governor

man, i really feel these. especially #18 and #21.

i read an article in the paper this morning... people are freaking the fuck out because their homes are flooded, blah, blah, blah... and it only rained like half a damned inch over the weekend... and then they're saying we should expect a heckuva lot more through wednesday... 3 inches!!!!

the rest of the country is laughing at us again.

6 Comments:

Blogger J. said...

yeah, with chances of thunderstorms on thursday. i love this weather. hey, what county are you in, anyways? i'm in orange county.

12:59 PM  
Blogger Kis Lee said...

I can totally relate to #10. If I get a prime space, I don't even want to leave the lot. If I'm with someone, I'll talk about how great the space is.

2:12 PM  
Blogger grace said...

jeanette: i'm also from GOP-land.

3:04 PM  
Blogger J. said...

You're in the OC??? No way!

3:16 PM  
Blogger grace said...

ooh, LE: and #12. goddamn gas prices.

and jeanette: YES way. :P

3:22 PM  
Blogger David said...

ROFL.
You know you live in Florida if you have a hurricane every day.
Funny I also live in the OC. In Florida's OC.

6:46 AM  

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