last name woes

so, the other day, while driving home, steve told me that it wouldn't bother him at all if i didn't change my last name. he has always said that it wouldn't bother him, but this time, it really sounded like he meant it.

and this is what i was waiting to hear, right?

so why do i feel bad about it now? damn him and his reverse psychology.


Blogger J. said...

Were you conversing about it or did he bring it up out of the blue?

3:44 PM  
Blogger grace said...

i don't remember now. seems like it was out of the blue... which made me think that he'd LIED TO ME and it had maybe kinda sorta bothered him a bit for a while and it just occurred to him that it wouldn't bug him anymore... or whatever. god, did that make sense?

4:21 PM  
Blogger Yankeebob said...

Just accept it and go with it. Stop beating yourself up over it. Why question having what you wanted? He wouldn't say it if he didn't mean it, would he? Keep your name Grace.

4:24 PM  
Blogger grace said...

yb: i know... you're right... but my job! it's stressing me out! so everything's a big deal to me right now! GAH!

5:16 PM  
Blogger julia said...

i don't think steve is using reverse psychology on you...but then again, you have to wonder why all your friends are madly in love with him. hehehe..

not me.. your other friends. :P

i say keep your secret agent name.. i'm not changing my last name.. of course unless it's mcconaughey. hehe.

7:35 PM  
Blogger Kis Lee said...

if it doesn't bother him, don't change it. if it bothers you, then change it. just do whatever makes you comfortable.

9:50 PM  
Blogger Ian said...

I think it's becoming less of an issue in this day and age. If I ever got married it wouldn't bother me in the slightest if she wanted to keep hwe own name.

Kids, though - that's different. My kids would have to have my name...

12:17 AM  
Blogger 8ZERO8 said...

He is lying. He wants you to take his last name. Give the brutha a brake! Think of it as a two-fer -- not only do you get the ring, you get a sweet last name, too. It's like a sale Neiman Marcus.

3:07 AM  
Blogger Anon said...

It's an odd transition when you change your last name. I felt like I lost a part of myself (even though I was being hurled twards a new life). I sometimes wish I would've kept my maiden name- it was original and flowed with my whole name. Now it just feels like a comfy pair of jeans... but it'll never be MY name.

6:06 AM  
Blogger a beer sort of girl said...

Keep your name. If he's thought about it that much, and wanted to make sure you knew he was ok with it, then he means it. I seriously was on the fence about taking his name, or keeping mine, and I finally decided that it would just be easier to take his. I wish I had kept mine. We work in related industries, and I'd rather be myself some days, instead of readily identified as so-and-so's wife. Just my 2 cents.

8:16 AM  
Blogger Cece said...

Wait. Whats his last name? Whats your last name? Who is Bon? I'M CONFUSED! I use my maiden-married name. Cecilia Valle-Martinez. It seems kind of dumb though. Alot of the time I informally just use Martinez of course. But I'm ALL VALLE. Roy can vouch for that.

8:27 AM  
Blogger grace said...

jules: they love him because he's sweet... and he has a nice butt :P i don't know why you love him, though :P

le: yeah... thanks... i decided i'm not going to change it.

ian: the kids are getting his name. i have nothing against his name. i just feel like i've been "bon" so long... it's like losing such a big part of my identity. weird, maybe... but that's how i feel.

808: nah... i don't think he's lying... he's not one of those types of people... and btw, the ring is a gift. if i didn't wear it, he'd be hurt.

j: i don't mind when people call me mrs. so and so, but it's just not... me...

beer: i hadn't thought of that... we also kinda work in related fields... although, he's more likely to be known as mr. bon :P hehe...

cece: due to psycho reading my blog, i'm not going to put in steve's last name. my maiden last name is bon.

8:47 AM  
Blogger Cece said...


11:18 AM  
Blogger cat said...

i have been trying to post this comment since you posted the post. blogger wouldn't let me. fuck blogger.

ahem,... here in the wonderful world of Quebec it is illegal to take the husband's name. i have to keep my name. i cannot take his name at all. it won't be recognized. i think this is to preserve the frenech names or some shit like that. i am not french i am irish. ironically shawn has a french last name. so THERE nazi quebec government! IN YOUR FACE!

i do believe in the rest of canada name changing is cool. it's just quebec. i hate it here. sigh.

7:31 PM  

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