2.07.2005

bras and underwear

we need to do laundry or something tonight. i'm out of clean underwear. well, that's not really true. i have clean underwear, but none of them match my bras. i might be able to rummage through and find some that match....

i get all weirded out when i don't match my underwear to my bra. i don't know what it is. even though no one else (besides steve and me) will see it, i get all nervous... like i've mismatched my shoes and someone's going to notice... even though no one is going to notice...

i fucking hate when i get like this. i'm so stressed out about work, that every little thing stresses me out. i'm seriously afraid i'm not going to have matching undergarments tomorrow. my stomach feels queasy like i'm forgetting something or ... i dunno. i just don't know.

i finally found my resume. of course, i couldn't find the soft copy, so i had to retype everything. which isn't too big of a deal, but still... i hate redoing shit.

i still can't figure out how to make being everyone's BITCH sound good and fulfilling... like i'm doing something important, even though i'm not.

GOD. just listening to these women cackling behind me makes me want to run over there and pour my hot tea on their faces!!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!! yeah, i have problems. i really do.

i think some people were just not meant to work. i think i may be one of them. i'm not saying that other people have it better than me or anything like that. and i'm not saying that everyone loves their job. i just think that most people just deal with it better or something maybe because they need to and they accept it and just go on with their lives. i've been getting mild anxiety at night (sunday-thursday) because of work. steve says, "it's just work." and i know it is. and i'm really trying to make an effort to not get stressed out about it. but i can't help it.

and i've been so busy lately. i haven't even been able to really keep up with blogs or blog my own shit. my god, they'd better not start making me blog from home. i want to blog from work! that's the way it should be!

christ, even as i sit here, i'm uneasy. i get that feeling of being completely overwhelmed. my desk at work is a fucking disaster area. the middle of my back is throbbing, it feels like someone's stabbing my shoulders, my lower back aches, my eyes are blurry, my wrists hurt... and it feels like my heart's going to pound out of my chest.

i just want to close my eyes...

but back to bras and underwear... ever since we got the bigger washer/dryer, i find that i get that feeling more often... like i'm going to have to wear a white bra with purple underwear or something... and that shit freaks me out. i have on occasion had to mismatch, but god, i hated it!

i think i need to buy more sets. that'll cure my anxiety... about bras and panties, at least. work's a whole other issue.

16 Comments:

Blogger J. said...

Wow -- you and I have the same bra/underwear matching obsession. Have. to. match. Cannot wear purple and white. That would just be wrong. I have no idea how many matching sets I have, too many, maybe? Nah. Can't have too many.

The thing is, when you can't stand your job it oozes out into other parts of your life. I know. I've been there. (sigh) If you need to bounce words off of someone or the whole darn resume, you know how to reach me.

XOXO

2:40 PM  
Blogger giest said...

Hey, I love the whole mis-matched bra/panty thing. Just something sexy about it. I know, I know...call me wierd, I just do.
Just think of it as your own special secret and smile whenever anyone looks at you. It'll keep them wondering...hehe.

2:48 PM  
Blogger Veronica said...

I'm the same way. I'm so overwhelmed with work that everything else, even the little things are getting to me.

Just do one load of laundry for your bras and underwear today. At least, get rid of some of your anxiety. No use in giving yourself more stress if you know you'll stress about your mismatched chonies.

I need to be more girlie. It's not a big deal to me if I don't match. Maybe I'd feel sexier if I did.

3:04 PM  
Blogger cat said...

i wish i had that problem... i have never been one for buying "girly" things. i always thought what's the point? and now that i have gained all my weight in the boob area i can't even get cool bras to go with anything. i have to shop at the plus size stores where i pay $70++ just to get a regular bra. sigh.

3:12 PM  
Blogger grace said...

jeanette: apparently, we are both insane. thanks for the offer :) i might have to take you up on it...

giest: you're crazy. crazy! :P

v: at least we're not alone :) but, why don't you feel sexy? you're a hottie! :P

cat: girly things? bras and underwear are a necessity! and i NEED THEM TO MATCH!!! GAH!!!! $70+???? holy god. i thought i had it bad... my god, woman. what size do you wear?????

3:18 PM  
Blogger Envoy-ette said...

Just wait til you have children and all your money goes to diapers...instead of panties & bras! I got tired of having to chose between panties with or without holes....so I bought 30 white pairs w/bra's and now only have one load of undergarment laundry per month!

3:40 PM  
Blogger Mel Mega said...

Holy cow, you would freak out if you saw my bra and underwear. I try to keep it simple. I try to stick to black and nuetral. In both. But when AE has their BBE (Best Boyshorts Ever) in all colors of the rainbow, I have to get them. They are comfy and sexy! But otherwise, I am pretty much in black or nude (the color...not nude as no unmentionables...).

4:40 PM  
Blogger Mel Mega said...

Gah! Clicked publish before I was done!

Anyway, I know how it is about the work situation. Coming from someone who suffers from major anxiety attacks, I know that the littlest thing can sometimes set one off. It is very easy for someone to tell you not to think about something. And the more you try not to, the more you do. You know I am here if you need anything. And I used to work for a recruitment firm and write a mean mother f-in resume, so let me know if you need help with that. Also, don't throw your hot water! Apparently it is a hot commodity in your office and I would hate for the hot water nazi to come and hunt you down for wasting it!

4:43 PM  
Blogger grace said...

envoyette: say it ain't so!

mel: i may have to check out a pair of the BBE... :D and thanks for the offer :) i may take you up on that... i'll bring the champagne :P

5:15 PM  
Blogger julia said...

i match my bras and underwear when i go to work.. but when i get home i don't give a damn.

yes, i change my underwear when i get home. i hate wearing g-strings all day. :P i love me some granny undies. :P just kidding.

7:30 PM  
Blogger peachy said...

I hardly EVER match my bras and panties. I wake up run downstairs and pretty much choose what's left in the pile. Sometimes I do feel like wearing a thong or my regular panties, or the little shorts, but the matching doesn't bother me at all.

As far as work goes, just relax. It's SO not worth risking your health and happiness for a f#$&in' job. Believe me when I say this. I never stress over work.

7:59 PM  
Blogger Kis Lee said...

i don't really match my bra and panties. my panties are all neutral colors, so i don't worry about it. i just make sure my bra goes with my top.

as for your job...that sucks...i feel for you.

9:55 PM  
Blogger Ian said...

I can solve the whole problem - go commando for a few days. At least then things will match!

Oh and Mel? I would freak out too if I ever saw your bra and underwear. Um, but in a really good way... ;)

12:16 AM  
Blogger Anon said...

Damn- I never match! Well okay, maybe like once a week. I usually go commando, it's just easier. You're so classy with the matching stuff! :)

RISE UP AND FLEE YOUR CUBICLE GRACE! DO IT NOW!
Good luck- you deserve to find a new job where you aren't turned into someone's biotch. That's just wrong.

6:15 AM  
Blogger grace said...

jules: you have any of those korean granny panties? hahaha. eep. my mom used to get them for me. god, they were soooo not sexy! hehe

peachy: i have to match! have to! when i don't... i'm paranoid... and i wish i could just not stress over work. we're just different people.

le: i don't have too many different colors either... but what i do have MUST MATCH.

ian: i was going to say the same thing to mel, but i didn't want her to think i was hitting on her again. i couldn't take that kind of rejection :P

j: yeah, baby. i put the ass in class :P

8:50 AM  
Blogger genetic mishap said...

I've held probably almost 20 different jobs over the years... I think every job i've held could be described as "Being someone's bitch". Is it like this at all jobs, or have I been unlucky? (please let it be that I'm unlucky)

11:27 AM  

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