why is it not friday yet???

i'm so goddamned tired... i don't want to go to sleep at night. i'm tired, but i don't want to waste my home time sleeping. which is weird. because i love sleep.


i'm so annoyed... i got some sort of bug bite on my ass... my butt is constantly itching. i'm always trying to sneak in a scratch when no one's looking. i probably look all suspicious like i'm about to steal office supplies. i don't know why i'm so paranoid. you can't even really see me in my cube. i guess i'm afraid someone's going to catch me off guard when my hand is down my pants and they just walk around the corner or something... i dunno... eh, fuck 'em.

my eyes itch. they burn, even. i've been dropping eye drops into them at least once an hour. maybe i'm allergic to the eye drops! NOOOOOOOO!

but that can't be true. i've put those in my eyes before.... anyway, they've been itching since before we came home... i guess it's allergies, but it's not allergy season is it? fuck. i think i'm just allergic to work.

i burned the top of my head on vacation. know what that means? flakes. BIG ASS FLAKES. i look like i have the worst case of dandruff ever. i tried to take out the big pieces this morning... but that of course made more flakes... but more little flakes. which are harder to take out. so now it looks like it's a REAL dandruff problem as opposed to just nasty skin peeling off the top of my head. i want to shave my hair off and dunk my head in lotion.

yesterday at work, this guy asked me what my new last name was...
"no, really. what is it?"
"what did you change your last name to?"
"i didn't change it. it's bon."
"why not? are you some kind of feminist or something?"
"okay, you know what? first of all, i don't think someone like you would understand. second of all, steve doesn't care. third of all, it has nothing to do with feminism, but i'm not going to waste my time trying to explain it to you."
"steve doesn't care?" (of course, that's the only thing he cares about.)

steve's friend shares a cubicle wall with this guy and overheard everything so he pipes up with, "that's 'cause steve's scared of her."

me: WHAT???? shut the hell up.
other guy: yeah, i would be too!
*other guy and steve's friend laughing*
me: that's because he's smart. *evil eye*

i know i've had a big old rant about the name changing thing before... but... i hate feeling pressure from people about it... the more pressure i feel, the less inclined i am to do it... like when i quit smoking. there was no pressure for me to quit so i did. had there been pressure, i wouldn't have stopped. maybe i'm afraid of failure. i don't know. and i don't know why i'm so damned backwards.

and then i asked steve if he was scared of me and he said yes!!! well, fine! be scared! muwahahahaha!


Blogger J. said...

Gawd Grace, I was laughing so hard through your butt-scratching, scalp peeling paragraphs. You know, just dump an assbucket of baby oil in your hair ... THAT'll stop the dandruff looking stuff. Of course, you'll look like you haven't showered since before you left on vacation, whatever. For the itchy-butt, I don't know what to tell you. LOL!

Then I got to the name change part. That's one of my beefs, too. I won't be changing my last name ever again. EVER. It has nothing to do with feminism for me, but more about identity.

Although, did you know that the women changing their last name is only an American thing? (or so I was told by a friend) Where's your rant about it? I'd like to read it.

10:18 AM  
Blogger Cindy-Lou said...

I changed my name, and I kind of want my old name back. But it makes it easier legally, especially with the kid, you know? and the living trust, oh yeah....he better sleep with one eye open....

10:51 AM  
Blogger Yankeebob said...

Why is co-worker guy so interested in your name not changing? Big deal. It's your preference. That should be enough.

Maybe you need one of those back scratcher things for your butt. The one's that are a little hand on a lnog handle. If you're going for some relief and someone walks by, you just let it go (assuming your back isn't to the person). With your hands free, no one will know. Just don't get up to walk away with someone until you can get the hand out of your pants.

12:07 PM  

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