wacked out dreams

so, i played paper mario last night for a few hours... it was fun... but i think that it was the cause of my dream last night. i walked into this trap. it sucked... but it wasn't that bad. or maybe it was the all the gatorade i had. steve told me once that the sugar in drinks was giving me nightmares. i don't know if that's true, but it always seems to be the case. the worst was orange juice. never drink orange juice right before you go to sleep!

in my dream, i was a guy (wtf? i knew i should've been born a boy)... i was a white guy. i looked kinda like jason statham... *meeeeeow* anyway, i was captured by these goons and i was fighting to get away, but i had to get my wife first. so i'm in an elevator with these guys (and they're trying to get my wife, too) and we're going upstairs to go to our apartment and somehow i fight my way out. i get out of the elevator, get to the apartment and grab her and we run. these guys are like, right behind us and we jump in the water... (it was a sweet waterfront flat) now, even though i'm this white guy, i am still me. i don't swim. i'm basically floundering in the water.

the wife gets this little rowboat off of someone's houseboat and we're rowing our asses off. now, in my dream, i know that my wife is part of this scheme to get me. and she's trying to get me to trust her. and i know that she's leading me into a trap, and i'm still going along with it. you'd think i'd just drown the bitch.

there's this big boat (our destination) and we're getting on it... my cousin (who looks suspiciously like steve buscemi) is on the boat driving it. and i know he's part of the whole evil plot to get me, but i stay on the boat, anyway. how stupid am i???

then i kick his ass and throw him overboard... and as i'm about to confront my wife, the alarm went off. ... damn! i wanted to kick more ass.

i think i am sexually confused and i have paranoia issues.