3.02.2005

it's official!

i had my very first nervous breakdown at work! well, not really my first... and it wasn't so much a nervous breakdown as it was me blubbering and crying.

GREAT

that's just embarrassing. and mortifying. and humiliating.

i just couldn't help it. i went to talk to the lady in HR and i couldn't stop! and then my boss comes by and tries to make me feel better... and i just lost it. all i hear is, "are you crying?"

and then he scurries off to his admin so she can tell me to go back to the dr and demand a referral.

i can't believe i cried ... in public.

stupid tears. stupid back. stupid me...

okay. i'm out.

16 Comments:

Blogger Agent_LAH said...

I'm sorry that you cried in public. It totally sucks and it is embarrassing. I should fucking know. I guess it just shows that you are stressed and hurting to the max. Good luck finding a better Dr. that doesn't make you wait forever and brushes off your pain because you're too young for "real pain".

11:25 AM  
Blogger cat said...

oh, grace!! ***HUGS***

i have been there, done that and had 6 weeks sedation for it. it's not fun.

however, last night i played karaoke revolution for you! i sucked! i never suck at singing. gosh darn! i learned that i don't even KNOW the words to half of those songs. what the hell were people like liz phar and hillary duff THINKING when they recorded those songs? did they even READ the words?? at one point in *why can't i* i sang the lyric and then went what the fuck? what the hell was that!! and ended up getting 2 lousy scors and some boos. oops. but still!

i'm totally sorrow. just think of me as sorrow fudging up the words to britney spears songs and smile, ok? :)

11:38 AM  
Blogger Amber_sun said...

One extra hug sent right your way... I feel bad that you feel bad but girl don't be embarrassed that you cried. Hell, you're stressed AND in pain. They betta recognize! Hmph!

12:17 PM  
Blogger Kis Lee said...

ackkk! that sucks. hope they hook you up with a *real* doctor this time. fucking hacks.

feel better soon!

1:02 PM  
Blogger Edward said...

hmmm, sounds like you stumbled onto something here. Now whenever you need something done, just let the water works flow and you'll have the boss man/woman jumping to make it all better.

Hope you feel better.

1:37 PM  
Blogger Veronica said...

BIG, BIG HUGS to you, Grace! I'm so so sorry! Don't worry though, that doesn't make you a wuss. You're still bad ass! :o) I really mean that in the most caring way.

At least those bastards may take you more seriously now if they weren't already. Sucks that you had to have a breakdown.

Feel better, chica! I'll be thinking of you! :o)

2:38 PM  
Blogger J. said...

Ohhh honey. I'm so sorry. (Big Hug) I know how you always want to be strong and you are. You are one of the most compassionate, giving people I know. But sometimes it builds and builds, you get frustrated and then things get overwhelming and I'm guessing that's what happened.

You've been dealing with this crap for months now. I remember when I first started reading you (god, was there really a first time?) you were complaining of neck/shoulder pain.

You WILL get to the bottom of this. I promise you. It will get better, eventually.

2:52 PM  
Blogger julia said...

ack.. my poor grace!! *hug* those bastards.. i hope that you get some time off.. you really need it.

and it's too bad that it had to come down to you crying for anyone to notice. bastards.

xox

3:45 PM  
Blogger Anon said...

oh man Grace- well, even though your tears weren't on purpose, it's good that you got the attention of the boss man. I do hope that you find a better doctor. Maybe you could also get one of those massage things for your chair at work... ;)

I hope you get back to feeling super soon!

4:48 PM  
Blogger Kiss Me Im Italian said...

:( Poor Grace... I wonder if workers compensation covers nervous breakdowns. If so you take the money and stay at home playing video games for as long as possible

5:17 PM  
Blogger Ian said...

Poor Grace! I hope things get better for you soon...

I have never played Karaoke Revolution, but today I am going to go to Belfast, so I promise to stand outside the City Hall and sing something suitably embarrassing in your honour.

Something like "Oops, I did it Again", how about that...?

11:28 PM  
Blogger Bad Turtle said...

Hey Grace. Maybe you should try going to a chiropractor. I have been several times for back pain and they work wonders with making it stop. They claim they can heal most anything which is bullshit but when it comes to back and necks they are really good. Most companys are cool with sending you to one on workers comp. because they are cheaper then Dr. who don't care anyway.

1:58 AM  
Blogger Cece said...

It's okay Grace. I know its very frustrating. Chiropractors are good. But its not a one time thing. You have to go like every other day for a month or two. Remember my Bonecracker? He compared it to getting braces on your teeth. It takes a while to get everything straightened out because your muscles tend to pull everything back to where it was before. And more so when your muscles are all tense. But it feels AWESOME. That plus the massages...were totally yummy.

6:02 AM  
Blogger peachy said...

That bites Grace, but like Jeannette said, everything just came crashing down on you even though you tried holding it up. It's ok to cry, and if it happens in public, so be it. I hope you find the help you need from you bosses and doctors. I'm sure it's miserable, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
Things will be just fine. Relax and take deep breaths. *hugs*

7:09 AM  
Blogger Michael Moore said...

my god, that sucks. I would not be able to go back to work if that happened. Big ups to you for surviving that.

I cant believe that a doctor would say those things to you! I mean, how do they know whats happening to you? I have a friend who got anasthesia for stitches and it didn't work. They told her that it did. What the hell?

There are doctors with compassion out there. Hold out and find a good one. If not, use it as an excuse to self medicate ;-)

9:07 AM  
Blogger nobody said...

Shit, hon! You need a break. I feel for you. Wish there was something I could do.

And (if the blogging isn't enough proof) know that you are not alone.

7:29 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home