how did i even graduate from college?

it's becoming quite clear to me that my school should never have given me a diploma.

i have a degree in business administration. and i don't know a fucking thing about it. i have to ask steve EVERYTHING about... well, everything.

seriously, anything that has to do with money, i have to ask him... jeezus... what? 401K? mortgage payments? interest? my eyes just fucking glaze over.

i'm soooo glad that he bought our place before i ever came into the picture. i think i would've FREAKED THE FUCK OUT if i had to deal with any of that shit.

when i went into college, i had a full scholarship. an academic one, no less. i guess i'm just a good test taker. anyway, my freshman year, i just fucked around. i started out with a double major... and somehow i just barely squeaked by with one. heh. anyway, i needed a 3.5 to keep my scholarship, so i was shit outta luck.

i wrote the board this letter... a total bullshit letter and they agreed to extend my scholarship for another year... but i was on probation.

i might've been able to keep my scholarship had i gotten a 4.0 my sophomore year... and had i taken an assload of classes... but that didn't fucking happen. heh.

so i lost my stupid scholarship. i was taking this stupid botany class... and i hated it. i hated every fucking second of it. i hated it so much, i withdrew from the class... he was the only professor teaching that class. and just about every fucking major needed it... except, business administration. and that's what i went with.

i didn't get horrible grades in those business classes, either. i guess i was just going through the motions and just did what i was told. and i got through it.

and i must've repressed those memories or something. sophomore through senior years were the Psycho Years, so maybe i really did. heh.

regardless, though... i can't believe they gave me a freakin' diploma. it's probably not even valid. heh. i'm beginning to wonder why i even went.

the only thing i learned in college was how to appreciate a good wine. YOU CHUG IT. :P no, but really. that's all i learned. i didn't need to go to college for that!

i only made one friend in college. all my other friends are from high school or pre-puberty. i didn't retain any information from any of my classes. i don't have great memories from most of my college years.

i guess i just did college because i was expected to. i still feel lost most of the time, like i don't know what i want to do when i grow up. i'm really beginning to think i didn't need to go to college.