beeeyach.

i sent mel a text message yesterday. partly for selfish reasons, and partly because i felt bad that her wedding was the ghetto wedding of the century. and a very little part because we have such a long history together... also, i really had nothing to lose, as we're not friends anymore, anyway.

it was short and sweet. no apologies, but i did sign it with a "love" at the end. and i wrote it in all lower case letters... so, it wasn't formal or anything...

beeyach didn't call or text me back.

the reason mel always treated me differently than her other friends is because i treated her with the least respect. i don't know what kind of weird masochistic issues she has, but i never gave in to her and she gave me the most respect because of it.

due to that fact, i wasn't going to call or anything... but, she also has a lot of pride issues. so i knew she wouldn't call me first....

seeing as i had nothing to lose, i decided to text her. i didn't want to call, because i really don't have anything to say...

i figure that she probably got it at work and then went home to discuss with stan what she should do because she can't do what she wants to do on her own anymore because she doesn't have an opinion anymore. whatthefuckever.

if she actually reaches out and texts me back (or calls or whatever) i may send her a wedding gift. emphasis on the "may." if she doesn't... oh, she is so in for it at our 10-year high school reunion. i know. i'm being "so high school" right now. it's only fitting. that's where we met.

and ya know what was really annoying??? when i told maria that i was thinking about texting mel, she said, "why???" all bitchy and shit. uhm. why is it okay for her to try to salvage their relationship but not me. i was very upfront with the whole thing, saying, that i wasn't opposed to being her friend after the wedding or whatever. or whenever she was ready.

i'm through with maria, too. at least i did what i really felt was the right thing to do instead of staying in the stupid wedding and then making a huge dramatic toast at the wedding. "oh, stan - we're so happy to have you in our family... oh, stan - we're so happy mel met a wonderful man like you... oh, stan - let me get down on my fatass knees and give you a blowjob right now... oh, stan, yeah, daddy, yeah."

i had a dream last night that i was at mel's wedding and we were just going at it... screaming at each other and shit. it was ugly. i don't think that'll happen... but if it ever does, eh, at least i'll be ready for it.