fucking surrounded by pansy-ass bitches

i caved

2005-03-17T14:47:00.000-08:00

here's my new blog addy:

http://grrracesotherblog.blogspot.com/

like ian, i couldn't bear to part with my old comments, so i started a new blog...

please update your links! :) thanks... g

Entertainment: Movies, Music, Comics

2005-03-17T13:40:00.000-08:00

::MOVIES::

Kandukondain Kandukondain (the english title is "I Have Found It"). loosely based on jane austen's sense and sensibility. again, starring the beautiful Aishwarya Rai. have i mentioned that i totally have a crush on her???? the movie could've been like an hour shorter...but, then again, so could most other indian movies. hehe... it was enjoyable... with singing and dancing in true bollywood style. i thought it was a fun flick... but, in the second half, the subtitles didn't match the sound... yeah, it was a little unnerving... made me enjoy the second half a little less...

I ♥ Huckabees. man, that existential shit just boggles the mind... an amusing movie about an unamusing topic... i loved it... but i'm also very strange. i decided i don't like jude law as much when he's doing an american accent. what is it about accents that make him so much hotter? i don't know. regardless, lily tomlin was awesome, dustin hoffman was okay... jude was good as a pompous bastard... and i ♥ jason schwartzman. no, really. he was awesome in this flick. naomi watts' american accent was way better than jude's. but that's okay. i'll forgive him... do you hear that, jude??? i forgive you! come back to me.... uhm... yeah... heh. sorry. i'm okay now.

::MUSIC::

Beck: Guero. i know i said something about this last week... but i just heard the single, E-Pro again. FUCK ME! IT ROCKS. from the beastie boys beat in the beginning to the na-na-na'ing... this fucking single kicks so much ass! i don't even know where to begin.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Soundtrack. i really loved this movie... so listening to the soundtrack just reminds me of the movie... bliss.

Celso Machado: Mistérios do Rio Lento. collaboration between Celso Machado and another talented guitarist, Christina Azuma. their music together is just so, so beautiful...

Can't go a week without listening to drum 'n' bass... Been listening to live shows from Andy C and Concord Dawn... They always make me want to jump up and down and nod my head... oh, and smoke weed... but that's a whole other thing... :P

::COMICS::

Ex Machina: written by Brian Vaughan (of Y: The Last Man fame). yeah.. pretty much anything Vaughan writes is gold. this is no exception.

Hunter Killer. i liked the first issue. i don't know enough about comics to really write anything here. i just liked it. yeah. so there.

spam

2005-03-17T09:03:00.000-08:00

in my spam inbox, the subject to one of the nice little notes was:

get the drags you need now!

wow! i didn't know that i NEEDED people to dress up in drag for me... but now that i know that, i'm replying back... and marking that shit as NOT SPAM!

**~~**~~**~~**~~**

my back and neck are pretty bad today... no more sex for me... and def not doggie style :P

**~~**~~**~~**~~**

i saw a license plate last night: LKRSROQ. no, the lakers do not rock, let alone ROQ. jeezus christ. god, why does it bug me so much? it bugs me that it bugs me. wtf...

**~~**~~**~~**~~**

I'M NOT IRISH. so, no, i didn't wear green. also, i do NOT OWN clothing that is suitable for work in that color. don't pinch me. god knows, i've already pinched a nerve. that's enough pinching for me. christ.

however, i will use this opportunity to drink until i puke tonight. oh, and to solicit kisses from complete strangers.

actually, i don't think we're going out... even though i've never in my life had green beer. i think we should find me some green beer. god, i've missed out on so much!

**~~**~~**~~**~~**

goddamned herpes. i got it from my mom. yeah. i didn't exactly mean it that way. i get stupid canker sores when i'm fighting a bug. i'm not sick, but i've gotten 2 canker sores in the span of 2 weeks... yeah. i'm fighting something awful. but thanks to airborne, i haven't gotten sick. i guess i'd prefer the canker sores over the illness... god, i love airborne.

**~~**~~**~~**~~**

yahoo's launchcast is pretty cool... i mean, you get to listen to shit you'd never ever normally pick up... on the downside, you also get shit like travis shitt or whatever his fucking name is. but that doesn't happen very often. and then you can put him on your "DON'T EVER PLAY AGAIN, ASSHOLES!" list.

**~~**~~**~~**~~**

what's up with all the prego people lately? i just don't give a fuck about people at work, so i just haven't noticed, i guess... just yesterday, i saw 4 ladies with huge, extended bellies... i swear the last time i saw them, they weren't pregnant. jeez.

**~~**~~**~~**~~**

is it time to go home yet? oh, scheisse. it's barely a little after 9... ah well... happy st. patrick's day... if you care.... otherwise, happy get-shit-faced day!

GAH!

2005-03-16T13:30:00.000-08:00

if i hear "in da club" one more time i'm going to go fucking postal!

dude, all of these fucking WASP-y ass women have "in da club" as their fucking ringtone.

i want to die!!!!!

and every time i have to type in "da" instead of "the" i die a little inside.

why do these fucking people think they're so goddamned hip? why???? WHY?

i knew i shouldn't have taken the other earbud out of my ear.

our family in iowa

2005-03-16T11:05:00.000-08:00

well, minus my sister...

yeah, we all look tired, huh? anyway, there's my delinquent bro. hehe.

we have more pics, but... i'm not going to bore you and post them. :)

my thighs can't breathe!!!!

2005-03-16T10:12:00.001-08:00

jeezus h. christ.

when i bought these jeans, they were pretty loose. right now... they are squeezing the LIFE OUT OF MY THIGHS. no, seriously.

my left leg just went numb. i knew i should've worn stretchier jeans.

now i'm going to need to stand up and get some blood back in there. stupid thighs.

yeah, i wore jeans to work today. my boss isn't in. in fact, he told me to work from home... but i would probably just get drunk and not get any work done.

damn. i should go home.

actually, the PT is really close to my work... i'm leaving at 3 anyway. i think i can suffer through a few hours of work.

last night steve took me to this restaurant called Ten. cool little place... a little too trendy to have any sort of lifespan, i think... the food is just okay, but the decor makes up for it. it's basically just japanese food.

oh, and the happy hour specials rule. $3 per plate. it was nice... the only thing that was really annoying was the back of their matchbooks. apparently, their weekend night "ultra lounge" name is... wait for it...

TENTATION

how fucking stupid. i hate stupid names. it's totally retardo. it's just embarrassing. i don't know. i would never call my friends and tell them to meet me at TENTATION... god. just thinking about it makes me fucking CRINGE.

at any rate, they had a lot of fruity martini drinks... might be a fun place to meet up with your friends or something... if you're into fruity martini drinks.

i did like the gigantor buddha with the changing backlights. reminded me of my cup holder lights in my car. oh, and on the way in, they have this waterfall over the walkway... okay... i don't know how to explain it... anyway, it's cool.

i had fun, though... especially after a bottle of sake. woohoo! hehe, but don't get too excited. it was a little bottle. heh. anyway, it was nice of the hubby to surprise me and take me out :) he's sweet like that... :)

anyway, it's nice to see something cool in orange county. hehe... it probably wouldn't be my scene, though... i can just picture all the 40-something year old, botoxed, blonde divorcees hovering about looking for man meat. oh, my bad. that's the yardhouse... at least TEN has good music playing in the background. after about 45 minutes at the yardhouse, i want to kill myself. i can only take so much bad classic rock.

now i'm babbling. time for me to walk around and get the blood flowing in my legs again. or eat more girl scout cookies. MMMM.

i die inside just a little bit...

2005-03-16T08:25:00.000-08:00

every day i walk in those doors at work.

30K, baby!

2005-03-15T17:30:00.000-08:00

i have over 30,000 hits! thanks everyone...

i feel so loved...

and i'd like to take this time to thank all the pervs looking for "bitches fucking for money" and "wild world wives" ... OH! and "moroccan bitches" because without you, i'm sure that i would have at least 10K fewer hits.

it doesn't get any more awesome than that... god bless the pervs of the world. ;P hehe.

tuesday

2005-03-15T10:57:00.000-08:00

i hate tuesdays. not as much as i hate mondays... but i hate tuesdays. wednesdays are all right because well, wednesday's hump day. and who doesn't love hump day????

and thursday's weekend warmup. and i love fridays. well, i love friday nights.

at any rate, i didn't write the last post to fish for compliments, but THANKS ANYWAY :) woohoo! compliments rock! not that steve doesn't compliment me, like, every day... but... he kind of HAS TO. i mean, isn't that in the hubby rule book? thou shalt tell your wifey that she is H-O-T every day ... forever and ever, amen?

anyway, thanks for the ego boostage, guys... ed, you're the sweetest... oh, and wayne? you are such a golddigger! i KNEW i just loved you!

i just got back from the doctor. same asshole doctor, different attitude. he was just down to business, which is fine with me, but he didn't give me the condescending attitude...

on the downside, the nurse was like, "33? 34?"
me: uhm... excuse me?
nurse: how old are you?
me: uhm... 28...
nurse: huh... i wonder where i got 33 from... i was looking at your birth year... and i was trying to do it in my head...
me: DO I LOOK 33 or 34, BEEEYACH???

okay, i didn't say that. but i wanted to. not that 33 or 34 is old. i just hate being mistaken for being older than i am. note to self: purchase nivea eye cream or whatever it is that angelina was pimping several months ago...

anyway, i'm just going to keep telling myself that it's not that i look older... she is just a moron and can't do math in her head... uhm.. yeah... that's it.

anyway, 2 more weeks of PT for me. at least i like the people at the PT's. they're nice and they're concerned about my well-being. finally... people who care... or at least care about getting paid. either way. i'll take it.

they're doing some renovations here at work... they're tearing apart the upstairs and downstairs bathrooms closest to the stairs... which wouldn't be so bad, except they've closed off the hallways on one side... so you have to walk around. yes, i am just THAT lazy.

hi-ho... hi-ho... (hi, jules! muwahahaha) back to work i go...

oh, and one more thing... why is it that i remember useless shit... like how this kid i knew in 8th grade's birthday is today... and the twins (they're boys, calm yourselves, gentlemen) birthday is the 30th of march... i mean, i haven't talked to these people in YEARS. but i can't remember what i did yesterday???

oh yeah, it must've been the wine.

i forgot to mention about iowa...

2005-03-14T12:42:00.000-08:00

i am a hottie! that's right... i'm a fucking hottie...

my reputation precedes me, even.

uh-huh... my brother told me that one of the administrators said to him the other day, "hey, chris... i heard that your sister's HOT!" and my brother made the appropriate "ew" or "gross" comment back...

all of the boys there (the counselors... i guess i should call them "men") would hover around and talk to me and blush... i felt like i was in high school or something...

men parents were trying to flirt with me... which was kind of sad because their wives would get pissed. oh, i forgot to tell you about this one, steve. hehe... this one guy in particular would always find himself near me and kept trying to flirt with me. it was ... sad... and gross...

oh... and the boys... the boys... they all loved me... one boy in particular... and my brother told me to never talk to him again. but, he was adorable! i get the feeling that he was quite the "playah" when he was home...

so yeah... despite the fact that i'm gaining weight (i HATE dieting... and i can't exercise right now) i'm still a hottie. woohoo! of course, that's not really saying much... i mean... the boys never get to see girls... and most of the people there were moms, and not the MILF kinds... oh, or grandmas...

so yeah. fine. i'm hot compared to a bunch of old people... and these boys haven't seen a girl in months.

okay, FINE. i'm not a hottie. fuck you. heh.

WTF???

2005-03-14T12:37:00.000-08:00

got this from kim.

i can't believe it! i'm shocked by this, actually. i can't believe i'm more chick and less dick. wow.

no, really. wow.

Your Brain is 60.00% Female, 40.00% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female

You are both sensitive and savvy

Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed

But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

fucked up dreams

2005-03-14T10:50:00.000-08:00

so, last night, i had 2 fucked up dreams.

the first was the worst... but what perplexed me was that both dreams were about water.

lots and lots of water. huge waves. just general scariness... what the fuck do they all mean?

the first dream was so bad that i woke up yelling something... steve had to wake me up... and i had to comfort myself by petting the bunny. hehe... (part of the dream had to do with the bunny getting washed out to sea or something)....

the second dream was just about water levels rising higher and higher...

my mom was in both dreams... like i didn't have enough of my mom during this trip... she's gotta show up in my dreams, too...

anyway, i'm scared of water. i hate it... and those dreams still scare me now... when i'm awake... what the fuck do they mean??? god... maybe nothing... i don't know what i was thinking about before i was dreaming, though...

i'm baaaack! (long post)

2005-03-14T10:18:00.000-08:00

i made it back. i didn't kill my parents. and the KKK didn't get me. phew! hehe...

on the way out, the trip started out horribly. we BARELY made it out to the plane. actually, the plane waited a few minutes for us... they knew we were coming out. the lateness? that was my parents' fault... good lord, they were slow that morning...

on the way out to the plane, this woman is chasing me because i left my neck pillow at the x-ray tables at security. my neck pillow is a monkey... i LEFT MY MONKEY PILLOW!!!! anyway, that was nice of her... she could've just left it, i guess... frontier is a pretty good airline. you have to pay $5 for direct tv, but i wasn't watching, anyway. maybe i was just happy that they waited for us...

anyway, we get to denver and we've only got a few minutes to get to our gate. we run to our gate (mind you, i'm carrying my bag which i'm not supposed to do and running to the gate) and ... the flight is delayed. which in a way is good because we didn't miss our flight, but in a way was bad because i totally tweaked my back.

we wait around... my mom is trying to lecture me on real estate and money. LIKE THEY'RE ONE TO TALK!!!! jeezus christ. my parents have filed for bankruptcy TWICE. they're in no position to give me any sort of money advice. seriously. so i'm getting more and more annoyed by the second. i call steve for sympathy and what does he say???? "be nice to your parents!"

GAH!!!!

anyway, we get on the plane... they give us direct tv for free since it was their fault we were so delayed... i love the food network... i LOVE IT!!!! also, i love watching the old episodes of the love connection... why is it that these 24 year old people look SO damned old??? crazy.

we get off the plane... we start heading to the hertz counter when.... i figure out that i left my folder on the plane. this folder had not only our itineraries in it, but reservation information, directions, addresses, phone numbers... and OUR RETURN TICKETS... holy shit. i flipped out. i ran back to the gate ... i could barely breathe. i got out an "excuse me..." and the no-nonsense woman at the counter just handed me my folder... i was so fucking relieved... i got out a "thank you!" and ran back to where my parents were. they can't be left alone for more than a few minutes... they were already wandering off in some other direction when i got to them...

so, we rent the car (ford focus, baby) and start driving. i just want to GET THERE before it gets dark. it's about a 3 hour drive... but my mom gets motion sickness really easily when she doesn't eat (i get that from her, i guess) so we had to stop at an IHOP.

we get there and as soon as we sit down, i get a call from work.... i forgot to send my boss some information... *sigh* so i'm talking to the admin telling her what folders to find the info in on the laptop at work... and i'm all stressed out... because i can't remember where i kept certain files... but we found them... and all was okay...

my parents (once again) ordered WAY too much food... but my parents got a seniors discount. hehe. he's all happy to be old. :P

we get to lovely keokuk, iowa. there is... uhm... NOTHING THERE. pretty much. it's really fucking depressing. i could NEVER live there...

saw my brother. he looks good. he's not skinny like he used to be. he gained about 40 pounds in muscle. he's not all bulky... more sinewy, if you ask me. heh. except for the acne, he looks good. damn... that's some BAD ACNE. i don't remember mine being that bad. jeezus. it's bad.

he changed a lot on the outside. on the inside, he still wants to do all the shit he was into before... but just the changes on the outside were enough to give me hope for him. he actually hugged us... and even though he got frustrated at my parents, he never yelled at them. never lost his cool... a few of the times that i just about lost it, he kinda patted me on the shoulder and said, "it's okay... you don't need to be all mad... it'll be okay..." that shit made me smile... it's been so long since i have been able to talk to him... and spend time with him... he actually asked about steve and our cousins... this is a guy who thought of no one but himself... so i thought it was sweet that he was asking all these questions...

sure, he could be faking it... like, trying to show us how much he changed so we would take him home... but... whatever... i'll take what i can get...

i missed how he used to be...

after 2 days, though, i think we were all ready to get away from each other... we drove back to st. louis that night. at least it wasn't raining or snowing... it was just cold... we get to the lovely super 8 motel in bridgeton (which is right near the st. louis airport) and we head to our room. and there are all these teens milling about... being loud... pounding on doors, yelling to their friends down another wing... we were like, "WTF is this shit???" okay, *I* was like, "WTF is this shit???" my parents were more like, "what's going on?" and then we get to our room, which is like right next to these fucking brats... and the lights don't even work.

so we had to go back downstairs... and let the guy know what was going on... and he gave us a different room. we got like 3 hours of sleep and headed off to the airport in the morning.

we get to the airport... and i was just ANNOYED... everything my parents said or did made me want to scream. and THEN, i go to the restroom in the airport. when i got in there, there wasn't anyone in there. i went into the 6th out of 10 stalls... and to be honest, i was kinda constipated. these seminars are brutal. you are thirsty, starving, but you just have to SIT THERE.

so, yeah. i was having a little bit of a problem with the pooping and i'm just sitting there... and someone comes into the restroom. i have a little problem going to the restroom when there are people there, but i'm trying to not think about it. just thinking about GOING... and then... the person sits RIGHT NEXT TO ME. WHAT THE FUCK??? why??? they get in the stall to the left of me. by then, my concentration is broken... i'm like... "christ, couldn't you go to ANOTHER FUCKING STALL????"

so, i start trying to concentrate again.... and then someone else comes into the restroom... and gets into the stall right next to me on the right. WHY??? why the fuck? isn't there some sort of unspoken rule that if there are lots of stalls, you put a stall in between you and the next person? fuck, i always do that... i think everyone else should too...

by then, i just about lost it... luckily (after like 5 minutes) i was able to concentrate enough and take my stupid shit... oh, and the best part was, they were all shitting, too. wtf? wtf? wtf? god, that's just frustrating.

anyway, i exit the restroom and i sit next to my parents... when you've only had 3 hours of sleep... there's NOTHING WORSE than listening to the muzak version of "end of the road" (you know, by Boyz II Men... god. i'm embarrassed just typing their name out...). i'm sure you could argue that there are worse things... but for me, that was IT..... i started rocking back and forth in my chair whispering, "make it stop, make it stop, make it stop..." even my crazy mother thought i was crazy... but after 4 days with my parents... doing EVERYTHING for them and shit like that, yeah... i did lose my mind...

we got home okay... all i wanted to do was go home, shower, eat, sleep... not necessarily in that order...

and when steve brought me home, all was well again... he'd cleaned everything :) and he made me dinner :) and he gave me lots of hugs and kisses... there's nothing like coming home to sanity.... :) hehe...

of course i've completely messed the house up again since i've been home... hey, i was exhausted. it was a physically and emotionally draining trip... i'm just glad to be home...

iowa

2005-03-10T06:52:00.000-08:00

i'm on my way to iowa. if i'm not back by monday, it's because a) i killed myself b) the kkk got me c) i killed myself because of my parents. i miss everybody already...

FUCK sports

2005-03-09T15:39:00.000-08:00

that's right... i said it. FUCK SPORTS. i HATE sports.

so, nina, YB, LE, mel... and all you other sports freaks CAN JUST SUCK IT.

hah! just kidding. i'm funny...

but, seriously. i'm just not a big fan. i used to enjoy it. i liked going to baseball games... eating dogs and drinking beer... and hanging out.... football was great... watching big, burly men in tight pants grope each other... what's not to love? hockey has it's fights... they're always entertaining... and soccer, well... hot foreign men. 'nuff said.

i have to say, i've never been a fan of basketball... but i could tolerate it. i don't know... those high scores and people running back and forth just never appealed to me.

and then psycho came around. and he was a fan of the raiders and the braves. oh yeah... i was subjected to all sorts of shit about raider nation and the fucking tomahawk chop or whatever the fuck that stupid thing is that they do.

anyway, the point is... i can not stomach sports anymore. he would get SO furious when the raiders lost (which was quite often)... and it was always my fault. i know i've said this before... but even *i* am taken aback by the stupidity of this whole thing... it was MY FAULT when they lost because i wasn't watching. or i wasn't cheering enough... EVERY SINGLE TIME... jeezus christ. he'd pick fights with me and yell at me... because it was MY FAULT... can you say fucking retarded????

just thinking about it now is enough to give me anxiety ... my hands are sweating AS I TYPE. that's right... i often get the sweaty hands... i'm a nervous, squirrely type of girl, apparently. but they weren't sweaty until i started thinking about watching sports....

so, yes. i hate sports.

thank god steve doesn't watch them. he follows sports, but it's not like he's gotta watch all the games and shit... i don't think i could take another relationship with a crazy sports fan.

i can't post comments

2005-03-09T12:54:00.000-08:00

the only blog i could post comments on was yankebob's...

so i'm posting the rest of them here... and in no particular order....

yankeebob: i can't post again. but i wanted to let you know that i'm 1971 and steve's 1979. same 8 year spread... like in real life... but the opposite direction :P

mike: i need a new post. man. it's like crack, i tells ya. crack.

nina: i feel a tingle, too... but it ain't from sports :P muwahaha.

cece: i don't get my nails done either. my cuticles are a fucking mess. but who really cares, anyway. oh, and we also need to win the lottery. but not for popsicles.

ian: i had to refrain from saying, "ha ha, very punny!" oh, damn. i just did...

jules: i'm in! i wanna go to HI. no, seriously. steve, can i go???

LE: damn. i hate sports.

convoluted insanity: we'd either be best friends or we'd kill each other. good lord.

peachy: is there such a thing as BAD lesbian porno??? i had no idea.

kitten: i'm not sure if you wanted me to answer your questions, but let's see... i knew jules and larry before i started blogging. everyone else is from blogworld. i've met mike, nina, mel, LE in the flesh because of blogger. i've talked to jeanette on the phone. and btw, i hope you didn't get sick...

LAH: i get that feeling whenever i go out to dinner or something with little kids... i wish they would shut the FUCK up... why can't their parents control them???? GAH!

larry: lesabres are TOTALLY hot. convince a chick that there's more room in the back for fucking :P hehe.

angelina: good luck with the move... and btw, i'm surrounded by douchebags, too.

j: hey, i just noticed you put a comment on your post, too. heh. you have too many posts for me to comment about. jeezus christ, woman. :P wait, did you ever tell me if voodoo was a hottie? :P

cat: take airborne! AIRBORNE, baby!

barb: yikes. being pregnant sucks! :P hehe... sorry. j/k... the way i post pics is using the "hello" program... check it out...

ed: yeah... chinese buffet does sound nasty. but i'd still try it... heh. and good luck with the exercising. i can't do it right now :( and i KNOW i'm gonna get all chunky. DAMN IT!

uhm... this isn't even half of the blogs i check out, but i've GOT to get back to work... jeezus christ. i have a blogging addiction. for reals.

Entertainment: Music, Movies

2005-03-09T12:00:00.000-08:00

seeing as how i was only here for about 2.5 days and i'm leaving again, i don't have much... and steve is my guest writer for my movie review... since i didn't see that movie... (thanks, baby...)

the only thing i've been watching is the first DVD of the first season of Chappelle's Show. damn. he is one funny mother fucker.

i can't wait until my schedule goes back to normal... jeezus... i'm being worn down... worn out... ugh.

::MUSIC::

Beck: Guero. album drops 3/29. BUY IT. this is one of the BEST albums i've heard this year. i don't think i'm being biased, even though i love Beck. it's more odelay than sea change. sea change was SO mellow... not to say that i didn't love it. that was one of my albums of the year when it came out... but, i must say, beck fucking blew my tiny little mind away with this shit. there's only one song that i'm not fond of... reminds me too much of the beach boys... and don't crucify me or anything, but i really don't care for the beach boys. they're so... BORING. god. anyway, beck once again amazes as he crosses genres and keeps his shit fresh and inventive.

DJ Dara: The Antidote. this album came out last year. good drum and bass, as always. dara never disappoints. not my favorite album by him, but still very, very good...

::MOVIE::
Steamboy. (i guess this is how a movie review SHOULD be. i suck.)
So I got invited to a press screening of Steamboy on the Sony lot last night, of course I was all over it. On the upside, I had a blast roaming the Sony studios and relaxing in one of their posh executive screening rooms, about 50 oversized plush reclining seats total with awesome sound. They have a beautiful campus there, very relaxing and some sweet architecture for their office buildings too. Also, they gave us the choice of watching the film in the standard dubbed and shortened version for primary US release, or the original subtitled version (about 15 minutes longer). Yes! Of course we picked the subs, what anime fan wouldn't?

On the downside, the movie blows. You know how the ending to Akira just drags on and on but at least maybe kinda has a point? Now imagine a "final" battle that starts about halfway into the flick and results in no real emotional payoff. That's right, an hour of things blowing up with no real plot. Also imagine an incredibly annoying and cliched girl supporting character they drop into the film practically unexplained, then they try to shoehorn her in as an uncomfortable love interest/foil for the main boy...yeah, Lucas handles romance better than this. Even the look of the film wasn't all that great, doesn't even come close to Innocence or Howl's Moving Castle from a technical standpoint although the backgrounds are pretty well done.

*Spoiler alert* The story follows a boy in 19th-century England who is trying to follow in the footsteps of his famous inventor father and grandfather. They've created impressive new machinery using steam power, so one cool aspect of the flick is kind of similar to LXG, showing the common man's reaction to these fantastic new super-powered creations roaming the countryside. The dad and grandpa create a super steam power cell about the size of a basketball (very poorly explained origin), and the principal fight is grandpa and a shadow organization trying to keep control of the ball away from dad and his opposing shadow corporation. The boy is stuck in the middle, doesn't know who to trust, and that's about the end of the plot and character development. Eventually, dad unleashes a gigantic steam tower in an attempt to sell its weapons to some assembled world leaders, and grandpa's organization tries to stop them. That takes you up to about the hour mark, and from there on it's just fighting, fighting, and more fighting. Yawn. *End spoiler*

This is another prime example of why some creators shouldn't be given carte blanche... this movie could have succeeded if anybody had the stones to demand a coherent, tight plot and streamlined final battle, but as it stands it's just a highly flawed monument to Otomo's ego. Hopefully we won't have to wait another 17 years for him to try again, Akira was way too long ago.

Miami Pictures

2005-03-09T10:30:00.000-08:00

so... here are pics from our trip... if you want to see the whole album, email me at grace.bon@gmail.com. and then you can see me in a bikini! kidding. no one wants to see that. also, i made steve delete those out of the album. heh. well, most of them at least :P

*update* i FINALLY GOT THAT FUCKING PICTURE OF US ON THE FUCKING BEANBAG TO POST... GODDAMN IT!!!! IN YOUR FACE, BLOGGER!

here's miami at sunrise

driving down to the keys on 7 mile bridge or whatever the fuck it's called.

yeah... we had key lime pie in key west. WHAT OF IT? heh... i know. touristy, but it had to be done. btw, i don't know if you can see it, but my shirt has a little monkey on it and it says: "I LOVE CARBS." it's my favorite shirt these days. oh, and another thing. i look tired because i WAS tired. heh. we drove down to the keys on only an hour of sleep. by "we" i mean steve. HEY, i risked permanent paralysis by taking a plane out there! okay, that was a bit dramatic. heh.

mah man!

the southernmost part of the US. don't mind my white legs. eep. yeah... this is still saturday. it was pretty damned warm. steve and i had to change in the car. heh. ahhh, only 90 miles to cuba. one day i will go there. i hope. and yes, ian... we are standing next to a huge erection... on second thought, it looks more like a butt plug... OH, AND BTW! would ya look at my hubby's toned and sexy arms? mmm, i LOVE nice arms on a man... *drool*

the stupidest name ever... who the fuck is going to call up their friends and say: yo, meet me at the DAWG HOUSE. how fucking stupid... the person who came up with that name should be fired. FIRED. btw, i don't think it was just us who thought it was stupid... that place was totally dead when we walked by it on saturday night.

and the stupidity never stops... and yeah... that IS a fucking fire hydrant... don't ask me why this pisses me off so much. it's just fucking ANNOYING.

yo, man... why we gotta ring the bell if you're a psychic??? shouldn't you know when we're coming???

mmm... sounds TASTY! :D hehehe...

so... check out the bottom of the flyer... the hours of operation are... what? wait... does that mean it's open 24 hours a day? god, i'm so confused! hee! i thought it might be fun to check out a swingers club. hehe. but steve talked me down. there would probably only be nasty old men, anyway... and there's nothing grosser than 70 year old men hitting on you. ew.

here's the outside of our hotel... doesn't look like much from here... but it was wonderful, affordable and one block from the beach... i loved it. the kent hotel.

here's the lobby of our hotel... i love the bright colors everywhere...

our room... ours was lavender and silver. i guess they have other rooms that are decorated in lucite (that clear plastic)... i love shit that looks all space agey. heh.

this is on the other side of the room. the beanbag rules! i don't know if you can see it on this pic, but my cleavage rules, too! woohoo! oh, this is my new bikini that steve bought me for his birthday. heh.

winterfest... IT'S RAINING MEN!!!!

i need these little shorts. he was soooo cute... and his butt looks awesome in these shorts. i wonder if those shorts will do that for my butt, too... no, seriously. i want that outfit. hat, scarf and everything :P

anyway, i had a fucking blast in south beach... i loved it there... *sigh*

and now i get to look forward to going to IOWA... it's like 30 or 40 degrees out there right now. i'm going to D-I-E.

keyword analysis

2005-03-08T16:23:00.000-08:00

i'm getting an assload of hits from a search for "wifey world."

what the fuck? what the fuck is wifey world? or maybe they're just looking for me now? i don't fucking know. anyway... here are some other ones that i like:

racey grace
seattle hirsute woman's pics
jeremy mcboingboing
liger florida lion tiger
mythical liger picture
big liger
big dido bitches (i'm guessing they meant "big dildo bitches?" i don't know...)
best one liners pickup (that's just sad, man.)
bitches fucking (yes!)
tattoos in private parts and ass (AWESOME!)
mmm girl scout grace (EVEN MORE AWESOME!)
huge ass booty (AND DOES IT GET ANY MORE AWESOME THAN THIS? I THINK NOT.)

i rule.

big ups to south beach!!!!

2005-03-07T13:02:00.000-08:00

holy god... those damned people know how to party.

we stayed at the kent. what a cute little hotel... anyway, it was nice. about a block off the beach... lots of action going on around it...

and ALL NIGHT LONG on saturday night, you could hear partiers. it just never stopped. okay, it stopped maybe around 5 or 6AM, but goddamn! cruisers, girls, boys, screaming, laughing...

and we were in bed. yes, i know that sounds sad, but my back hurts. :( i couldn't walk around very much at all...

sunday night wasn't nearly as loud... but, we left around 5:45AM and partiers were still stumbling around.

but, i have to say, i loved south beach. seems like the people are so much more laid back in FL than they are in CA. the weather was great, but i don't think i could take the humidity later in the year.

while we were laying out in the sun, there was this big party going on. tons of people packed under a tent with a DJ booth... spinning happy, happy house music. and i love house. but not THAT much house. holy crap. i hit my limit after about 2 hours of it. most CDs are only an hour long, ya know? but it was fun... the whole atmosphere, the vibe... was wonderful. i want to go back....

but what's up with the little spring break goody bags? no fucking condoms in there? jeezus. toothpaste, shaving gel, candy bars... but no fucking condoms. they should ALL HAVE CONDOMS.

i have never seen so many good looking boys in one spot in my whole life. MEOW. too bad they want nothing to do with me. i didn't see that many good looking girls there. steve says that they come out late at night. i guess.

a friend of mine from FL told me one time that there are good looking girls in CA and FL, but at least the FL girls know they're just hos. the cali girls think they actually deserve better. heh. that made me laugh for some reason. i wasn't able to see if that was true, though because there weren't any good looking girls out when i was there. what's up with that? because i was totally gonna give steve a threesome for his birthday.

kidding. my neck and back are in no condition for wild sex.

we drove down the keys on saturday, since we arrived at the asscrack of dawn and our hotel wasn't going to be ready for hours. they have these signs that say how many fatalities have occurred... to be honest, i'm surprised there were only 2 this year. people drive like SHIT out there! damn. i thought we were going to die several times. and those were just the times that i was awake! i slept for most of the drive there and back! jeezus.

and there was this minor accident and they shut down the entire freeway. it was unbelievable. thank god it was on the other side. i would've died if we were stuck like that. guess i'm just used to cali.

it's great to be back, though. okay, it's not. i hate every second behind this computer screen. but i did miss the blogworld.

only 3 hours left before i can leave this hellhole for the day. i suppose i ought to get some work done...

ugh.

*blogger note: sorry if all my name changes are getting hectic. heh. i liked "racey gracey" but... i had to change it after i saw austin powers whilst getting ready the other night... and austin says, "GRRR, BABY! VERY GRRRR!" i was going to put that i put the "grrr in swinger, baby" but i didn't wanna give y'all the wrong idea :P hehe.*

happy birthday to me!

2005-03-06T18:39:00.000-08:00

so, we're in miami... and i'm drunk! :D okay. maybe not wasted, but i got a good buzz going on.

i didn't want to tell anyone at work that i was coming to miami... they'd be like, "oh, so you're well enough to go to miami, but not well enough to come into work!" so, yeah...

but, i had to come... i was depressed! i feel like a fucking invalid. and i'm only 28 years old! i mean, i know i'm not YOUNG anymore, but 28 is just too young to be immobile. being immobile sucks ass. you know when your back is FUCKED UP when you're walking down collins ave in south beach and an old lady passes you. that was kind of sad.

my neck and back are starting to feel a little bit better. having 2.5 days off of work may have had something to do with that. i've only been sitting here for 3 minutes, though and my back is already starting to hurt.

and that fucker doctor was trying to tell me that it's not work-related. BULLSHIT.

we just came back from dinner at a nice italian restaurant. i love italian food. and we laid out in the sun today. it was so, so nice. and such CUTE boys!!! but none of them want me. BUT I CAN STILL LOOK! :P

anyway, so, yeah! happy birfday to me! oh, wait. today's steve's birthday. and i didn't even get him anything today. we went shopping... and bought me a bikini and shirts... and went to italian food... and did all sorts of things that i wanted to do.

I SUCK.

so, wish steve a happy b-day today :) he turns 36 today! :)

i love my hubby... thanks for bringing me to miami for your birthday! :P

Entertainment: Movies, Music, Books

2005-03-03T09:32:00.000-08:00

and since this was almost already finished, i figured i would just do this one more. sorry, steve! i promise! this is IT! :)

::MOVIES::

Panda! Go, Panda! yeah... not exactly miyazaki's finest work... hehe. but cute as all hell! there is just something about a baby panda jumping onto a daddy panda and clinging on that makes me go, AWWWWWWWW!

Garden State. FINALLY GOT TO WATCH IT! stupid netflix. it was backordered for fucking ever! jeezus christ! i mean, who else is getting it instead of us??? damn it! anyway, i really enjoyed this flick. not only did zach braff write it, he directed it AND starred in it... and he does it well... without looking like an overeager asshole. and portman is so wonderful here. she's quirky and loveable. the only part that kind of didn't fit in the movie for me was the final conversation he has with his dad.... that seemed to change the rhythm of the movie. it was awkward. but other than that, i thought it was a wonderful freshman effort by zach braff... oh, and great soundtrack, also. i think i NEED IT.

::MUSIC::

Satoshi Tomiie & Hector Romero: Undulation 1. great progressive house CD. just about every track was great and the mixing was fluid. beautiful.

Bryan Gee: The Sound of Movement. great drum 'n' bass ... a lot of big hits on this CD. my only real complaint is that some of the tracks didn't get enough airtime. other than that, solid. i wouldn't say that it's a MUST HAVE like "new forms" by roni size.... but it's definitely a "very nice to have especially if you love drum 'n' bass" type of CD.

::BOOKS::

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides. okay. i have to admit, i JUST started reading it. but, thus far, the first 40 pages are great... will keep you posted on how the rest of it goes...

thank you...

2005-03-03T08:52:00.000-08:00

thanks for all your kind words, everyone... made me smile... though it looked more like a grimace than a smile...

i'm disobeying steve and writing a post. he wanted me to stay away from it. he said i just needed to do my one presentation my boss was asking me to do and log the fuck off. he said if i need to blog, i can audioblog, but there's no way i'm audioblogging. NO NO NO NO NO. especially now that i've been crying all morning. i sound like a doofus. heh.

i just wanted to log on and say hi... i don't think i'll be online much the next few days, if at all. i will miss you guys... i will probably get the shakes. but it's better that i don't stay in this position too long, methinks. guess i'll just catch up with everyone later...

ciao.

it's official!

2005-03-02T11:05:00.000-08:00

i had my very first nervous breakdown at work! well, not really my first... and it wasn't so much a nervous breakdown as it was me blubbering and crying.

GREAT

that's just embarrassing. and mortifying. and humiliating.

i just couldn't help it. i went to talk to the lady in HR and i couldn't stop! and then my boss comes by and tries to make me feel better... and i just lost it. all i hear is, "are you crying?"

and then he scurries off to his admin so she can tell me to go back to the dr and demand a referral.

i can't believe i cried ... in public.

stupid tears. stupid back. stupid me...

okay. i'm out.

doctors

2005-03-01T13:36:00.000-08:00

i finally went to go see the doctor for my back and neck.

why is it that when they say, "the doctor will be right with you," it means like 45 minutes? WTF? come on!!!! why is their time so much more important than anyone else's???? assholes.

anyway, basically, he didn't believe me. kept on telling me how he finds it hard to believe that it's work-related.

and besides only giving me ibuprofen for the pain, he kept on questioning how i could've hurt my back because there was just NO way it could be from computer work. OBVIOUSLY the man has never had to sit in front of a computer for long periods of time.

basically, it can only be a work-related injury if you're doing heavy lifting, or if you have carpal tunnel. i told him that my wrists used to hurt a lot and my hands were going numb, but they changed my workstation around and it helped it. but my back and neck are still fucked up!

anyway, so when he said that he didn't think my pain was work-related, i asked him what he thought it might be...

"well, you look like you're in good shape... do you play sports?"

WTF??? i almost choked and told him, "no, i don't play sports."

jeezus... that's the problem with looking young. they think you're too young to have any pains. i'm not kidding. several years ago, i was having problems with heartburn. it was constant and it was painful. i asked my doctor if she thought it might be stress-related and she chuckled, "stress? you're far too young to have stress!"

WTF is wrong with these people? i'm sorry, but the world is a different place than it was when you were my age, old timer.

*sigh* so i've been prescribed to 6 sessions of physical therapy. i already know it's not going to help. but i have to go. the conditions of this stupid worker's comp thing. jeezus.

wow. 6 whole sessions? FOR ME????

grapple

2005-02-28T13:35:00.000-08:00

i finally got to try out a grapple (pronounced Grape-L).

i've been obsessed with them for months now! and i finally bought some. they're still $3.99 at ralph's, but the korean market had them for $2.50... and i just HAD to have them...

the initial smell of grape is a little disconcerting because it's sooo strong. and it smells like the fake grape... but it tastes pretty good. tastes like apple with a liiiitle bit of grape... i like the consistency and texture of them, too. mmm...

kinda pricey for freakin' apples... but at least i finally got to sate my curiosity.

month-end

2005-02-28T12:12:00.000-08:00

is it just me, or does it feel like month-end keeps coming faster and faster every month. okay, maybe that didn't make sense. i just feel like the time is whizzing by and i've got nothing to show for it.

also, working is interfering with my blogtime and i don't like it.

so, before i go into the gory details of the weekend, i just wanted to say that i love yamashiro. cool little japanese restaurant really close to the hollywood bowl. i was expecting the prices to be outrageous and the portions to be tiny, but ... i was pleasantly surprised. and the view is pretty cool, too...

and have i mentioned that i love sake?

and in case you were wondering, i did spend most of my weekend in a drunken stupor... except for sunday morning... when i had to go to church with steve and his mom. if i didn't turn so goddamned red when i drink, i probably would've been drunk sunday morning, too.

whatever.

anyway, so, what gory details would you like to know about LE and/or her boyfriend (i'll just call him LEB from here on out)? :P i'm sure you've already read the drunken post... and LE wrote such nice stuff about us! thanks for making us sound fun! :D

LE is pocket pal-sized. LEB is... not. he's like 6'3". holy god. he's like a freakin' giant. but skinny. hehehe... i think that he thinks i'm completely insane. that's an accurate assumption, though...

they are so cute together... and (look away, LE!) i'm surprised that they're not married yet :P they've been together for a while... and they complement each other so well!

LEB's a great sport. or he's just whuuuupped! i'm not sure which. :P and LE was this little barrel of fun... in my drunken stupor i think i saw her dancing... but there was no nudity, so i was uninterested. :P

hrm... HRM... what else? if i was more sober, i probably would remember more. i do know that steve was making drinks, so i know for sure that LE was FUCKED UP! also, her post says she was. :P she had a hangover! hehehe... it's not a party unless you're hungover, i guess...

at any rate, we're waiting for the HOA to write us up... damn you party animals!

:)

last night... we went to an oscar party. we had a lot of fun... the host of that party writes movie reviews with some other people. they've been featured in the OC Weekly (alternative paper) and stuff... check them out. maskedmoviesnobs.com

they write really great reviews... i mean, not that kind of shit that i write ... i mean, these are like, for real... and stuff... because... they're... like articulate... and stuff.

i never used to watch awards shows before i met steve. i just didn't care for them. but last night was the most fun ever! i think it's because i met this girl there and we were just making tons of snarky comments the whole time. i love making fun of celebrities...

the best moment of the whole night was when the guy won for best song (from motorcycle diaries). antonio banderas and carlos santana (who both fucked up the song, in my opinion) performed it earlier.... and so this guy wins... gets up there, accepts his award, and doesn't say a fucking word. he just sings a part of the song... like, "yeah, BITCH. this is how it SHOULD be done!" and then gets off the stage. that shit was fucking awesome...

okay. so, that was my weekend. back to work for this little monkey...

i'm drunk

2005-02-26T21:57:00.000-08:00

so, what else is new?

little eyes and boyfriend are here. and we're playing karaoke revolution. it's fun .... drunk blogging is fun.

boyfriend is singing sweet home alabama. HAH!

that's some funny ass shit.

yikes. i'm drunk. i may need steve to hold back my hair as i puke.

surprisingly, i drank a lot today. 4 or 5 shots of sake, 2 vodka tonics, one special steve drink, one vodka grape juice concoction (huh huh. con-cock-tion) and i'm drunk as fuck... this is sad. i'm the only drunk person here. that sucks... actually, it's fun...

i have to take a piss.

s: the special steve drink was my vodka frapuccino...damn, how the hell do you spell that? oh well, whatever...le is now singing "it's my life"...it's like gwen is here in our home!!

now grace is singing "papa don't preach"...it's all about the pop songs after a few drinks...

next up: jason on "rock and roll all night"! yeaaaahhh baby!

hi, it's little eyes here, an d iim buzzed a litle my bf is singing karoake for the first time, and he's doing great. it was great talking to mike and nina for the first time. i wish i could have talked longer but i was a little fuckedup. i'm kinda fucked right now because it's been a while since i've drunk. is that a verb? steve is singing jamiroquai and he's doing pretty fucking good. fuck@

g: LE is commanding me to type. but i don't feel like it. fuck it. i'm done. i'm very drunk.... seriously... i even have a headache. this is sad. damn it. i guess it's not a good drinking night for me. yikes. i could pass out right fucking now.

le: gracie is going to do let's get it in on by marvin gaye...fucking tough song, but she's doing great so far. she should be on americna idol, she'd fucking kill them.

s: jason has "friends in low places"...oh, and le somehow knows just when to do genie moves when she's singing "genie in a bottle" even though she's "never seen the video" :P

ok, i just did "my girl" and now le is rockin' "here without you"...next up, me on "i'm without you"...

le:hi, steve is doing avril and doing fucking great. look out american idol. we'd win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

s: le just blazed "white flag"...wow, they really love the dido on these games...

le: grace is paseed out, fucking lightweight!

s: le is closer to "paseed" out than she thinks :P now she's all over "we are family"...and now grace is back from the dead with "every breath you take" which works very well with a heavy slur...hey, remember when sting used to be cool? what the hell happened? when did he become the tony robbins of rock? damn, he really needs to get back together with andy and stewart...

grace is alive again with "i will survive"...indeed...

ok, we just watched fatboy slim tear up brighton beach on dvd on the projector with the surround and subwoofer pumped up...mmm...just like being there...

g: i'm aliiiiive! wooty woot! i just needed to rest my eyes for a second :P we're trying to con the bunny into coming out and saying hello to our guests... come here, little baby bunny! :P

okay... everyone's gone now... g'night, gracie. oh, wait. that's me. damn. i just got my second wind, too. fucking party poopers :P who's the lightweight now? oh. that's still me. DAMN IT!

ligers and bears, oh my!

2005-02-26T07:09:00.000-08:00

ligers are real! dude, i had no idea!

in yesterday's LA Times there was a story about ligers!

except i don't think they're bred for their skills in magic :P

No lie: That 'tiger' may be a liger
By Robin Abcarian, Times Staff Writer

Napoleon Dynamite would be so relieved. The massive feline on the loose in the Simi Valley veld was not a liger.

It was a tiger, now a very dead tiger. The mystery ended Wednesday morning, when the creature, spotted near an elementary school, was shot and killed by law enforcement officials.

Earlier in the week, Patrol Capt. Roland Takayama of the California Department of Fish and Game ignited imaginations when he speculated on a National Public Radio show that the giant cat, who had eluded officials for eight days, was "either a lion or a tiger, and some people have thrown the theory out that it's a liger, a hybrid of the two."

"A mix of a lion and a tiger?" asked "Day to Day" host Madeleine Brand. "It's not like a jackalope? It's a real thing?"

"Yeah," said Takayama. "It's a real thing."

This may have come as news to fans of "Napoleon Dynamite," the cult movie that stars the world's nerdiest, Tater Tot-loving high school student. In one of the movie's best loved and oft-quoted scenes, Napoleon is drawing a mythical creature with stripes, a mane and rhino-type horns down its spine. "A liger," he explains. "It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed ... bred for its skills in magic." In chain stores that cater to adolescents, such as Hot Topic, T-shirts featuring Napoleon Dynamite's rendering of the liger have sailed off shelves. Online boutiques have many versions.

The writer and director of "Napoleon Dynamite," 25-year-old Jared Hess, said he was inspired by a strange event that took place near his hometown of Preston, Idaho, 10 years ago.

"There was a really weird commune or cult and they were breeding ligers," he said by phone from Buenos Aires, where he was shooting a commercial. "It was called Ligertown, USA. The humane society or some animal rights group found out about the horrible conditions that the ligers were living in and they, or maybe the owners, set them free one night. There were all these ligers running around our farming community for a couple days. My brothers had a football game and they could hear all these sirens and gunfire."

Actually, according to news reports from the time, Ligertown was a two-acre compound owned by a couple who were eventually convicted on charges of animal cruelty and creating a public nuisance. Nineteen big cats were killed and 27 others found refuge at the Wildlife Waystation in Angeles National Forest. It's unclear how many of the animals were ligers.

"Since we shot the film in Preston," said Hess about the Idaho set location, "of course Napoleon would be interested in what he would consider supernatural creatures or cross-breeding between different species, and the science and fantasy behind it all."

Jon Heder, who played Napoleon, drew the liger featured in the film, after taking input from some of the local teenage extras about what a liger should look like. "He's a pretty good artist," said Hess of Napoleon. "He's studied animation." The horns on the spine, said Hess, are "battle spikes."

No one seems to know how many real ligers there are. Public zoos don't keep them and will barely acknowledge their existence. And they don't occur in nature. In fact, they are a more or less deliberate act of creation, much like the mule is a deliberate pairing of the donkey and the horse. (Why it's not called a "honkey" or a "dorse" is anyone's guess.)

"I don't know much about ligers," said Takayama. "They look real stupid and goofy to me. Like a washed-out tiger or a lion that doesn't look right, with faint stripes."

Tell that to Tippi Hedren, caretaker of a stunning, 15-year-old liger named Patrick. Patrick, who weighs nearly 700 pounds, lives at the Shambala Preserve in Acton, having arrived there some five years ago from a private zoo in Illinois. "Everybody loves him," said Hedren. "We treat him like he's wrapped in cotton batting. He seems to have a great capacity for love. He's a very benevolent animal."

Patrick, said Hedren, has behavioral characteristics of both species. "He speaks both languages," she said. "He roars like the lion ... and chuffs like a tiger. He has this great basso profundo chuff."

Like all ligers, Patrick is the product of a lion father and a tiger mother. Cubs born to tiger fathers and lion mothers are called, yes, tigons. Most such hybrids are assumed to be sterile, the way mules are, but this is not always the case. Some years ago, said Hedren, she had a tigon named Noelle who lived in a compound with other cats.

"We had been told by a couple of veterinarians — red-faced later, I might add — that she was sterile. So we did not put Noelle on birth control. We noticed she was having a coochie-coo relationship with a tiger."

Some months later, Noelle surprised everyone. "She gave birth under a big red bus," said Hedren. "There was all kinds of noise and we thought a domestic cat was being murdered." Instead, it was a big entrance for a cub, which she called a "ti-tigon" for its three-quarter tiger, one-quarter lion heritage.

Martine Colette, founder of the Wildlife Waystation, has two female ligers, one from Ligertown. "One is exceedingly shy and hates people. The other is as friendly as a dog." Lions, she said, are social creatures. Tigers are not. "You can see a little behavior of each in both of mine."

Although ligers exist, there does not appear to be any such creature as a liger expert. The San Diego Zoo's cat experts said through a spokeswoman that they didn't have anything to say about ligers. The director of conservation and science at the Fort Worth Zoo would not even speculate about why anyone would cross a lion and a tiger. "Our goal," said Tarren Wagener, a lion specialist, "is to preserve the species."

However, Ron Tilson, director of conservation for the Minnesota Zoo, was less reticent. Creating a liger, or a tigon, he said, "is the production of freaks by people who have freaky minds. It's abominable to think that this sort of thing is somehow made into a movie or a cult icon when, in fact, what it represents is these dirty little sideshows in circuses with bearded ladies or two-headed dogs. This is not about nature … it's about mischievous lowlifes."

Lions and tigers are biologically similar enough that they can mate and have done so in captivity. In the wild, their paths don't generally cross.

No one is able to estimate with authority a liger's lifespan. It seems to be shorter than those of a lion (up to 25 years in captivity) or a tiger (up to 20 years in captivity). "We haven't had them around long enough to know what their longevity might be," said Colette.

In any case, plenty of people would have no idea what they were looking at even if they came face to face with a liger.

"What I have found is that the average person wouldn't know a lion from a tiger," said Colette. "And I regret to tell you that. Watching tours coming through this facility, you wouldn't believe the number of people who look at the tiger and say, 'Look at the lion!' "

it's friday... i'm in love...

2005-02-25T10:44:00.000-08:00

besides my back being totally fucked up and me being almost completely unable to walk, today's all right. it doesn't completely suck.

it looks like i'm going to hit my number with minimal stress this month. woohoo!

but, besides work... i talked to my bro's counselor yesterday. if my brother gets up to level 3 next week, we can talk to him on the phone! once a month... i can't even imagine what he voice sounds like. well, no. i can. but it's not nice. it's him screaming and cursing. so yeah. i would like to just have a normal conversation with him... i've almost forgotten what that's like. my mom is super sad because she can't take incoming calls at the hospital, so she may miss talking to him. she is going to be SO disappointed :( i feel bad about that...

my poor mom... she's working double shifts to keep my brother in that school. it's rough for her. but at the same time, she doesn't seem to mind. she's a good woman. a real giver. besides her craziness, she is a wonderful person... and when i really think about it, i do want to be like her... but minus the craziness...

we're supposed to be going up to hollywood today. my back is pretty fucked up, so i hope we don't have to stand for a long time. does anyone have any muscle relaxers they can part with? i think i need some.

the guy who sits behind me is leaving the company today. he was one of the few people who i didn't mind come into my cube and talk to me. he was a nice guy. i mean, he is a nice. god, he's not dead! hehe...

at any rate, i should be outta here by 2pm today. i'm just counting down the minutes... less than 200 to go... heh.

HUNGRY

2005-02-24T16:05:00.000-08:00

fuck. i'm fucking STARVING.

why, for the love of god???? my stomach is growling so loud, the guy behind me asked me what "that noise" was... damn it! that's so fucking embarrassing.

last night there just wasn't any food in the fridge... so we ended up having dino nuggets and french fries... what am i, like 5? whatever, it was fucking tasty. dino nuggets are my favorite chicken nuggets ever. not only do they taste good, but i can growl at steve with it with every bite. unless i bite the head off first. heh. yeah. i'm retarded. what of it?

mmm...

i really should go grocery shopping tonight. this is getting sad. i don't know what to make for dinner tonight. we could have burgers, i guess, but we don't have any bread. well, we have sliced bread, but it's in a frozen state... it needs to be thawed. and we only have lettuce. no tomatoes. *sigh*

maybe we have mac and cheese. mmm... there's always pasta. i always have a shitload of crappy pasta and crappy sauce on hand. why? in case i get desperate. like now... but unlike me, steve doesn't want to have pasta every night for dinner. bastard.

christ, i'm fucking hungry.

GRRRRRRRRRRR <-- that was my stomach....

on another note, someone found my blog by typing in "chubby chasers animated graphics" what the fuck? what are you looking for??? and why? i don't get too much weird shit, so when i do, i get all excited... heh...

Entertainment: Movies, Games, Music

2005-02-24T15:37:00.000-08:00

::MOVIES::

AVP: Alien vs. Predator. uhm... yeah... the best part of the whole movie for me was the MPAA rating screen... and they gave a disclaimer about there being violence, gore and slime in the movie. SLIME? SLIME is bad? christ... nickelodeon should be like, NC-17 then, no? idiots. it was pretty bad... and there's no fucking alien versus predator action until we were about an hour into the movie. jeezus. why didn't they just name it cute girl versus alien? christ. anyway, i do want them to make a sequel to it, though. not because it's good but because *SPOILER ALERT* i want to see what the spawn of the alien and the predator will be like...

Igby Goes Down. such a great flick. this is the second time i've seen it. a culkin boy at his finest. he plays an angsty rich boy. his father is in the insane asylum and his mother is just mean, pushy, and manipulative. igby can't figure out how to navigate himself through life. he gets kicked out of school after school. it's basically a coming of age story... it's a good one, though. promise.

My Architect. documentary about an illegitimate son trying to find out more about his father, louis kahn, famed architect. it was so good. i also love documentaries. this movie was ... so... i don't know. made me want to do something with my life. something... worthwhile. something
that would... i dunno. leave a mark. but i won't. and that's sad. anyway, it's a wonderful documentary.

::GAMES::

Super Monkey Ball 2. we spent some time this past weekend playing this game. fun, crazy, japanese wackiness! :P ooh, and check out this funny ass site. the characters are basically monkeys in balls... you can play a punching game, pool, bowling, golf... all sorts of mini-games... there's also a one-player game, too...

Mario Party 4. we also spent a lot of time playing this game. fun game. it's like a board game with mini-games interspersed. i sucked at it... makes me want to get all of them. i think they're up to mario party 6, now...

Karaoke Revolution 3. oh, how i love thee! it's so much fun!!!! also, you can do duets! we didn't get to do any because we didn't have another mic... but one day, oh, one day, we will!!! it's just so fun... but only if you like to sing... by the way, mike sings GREAT. hehe... everyone should hear him sing once.

::MUSIC::

Ludacris: Red Light District. hrm... what to say about this one... it was fun, i guess. i'm not a huge fan of ludacris. maybe it's because i keep wanting to spell it ludicrous. he definitely has some fun and catchy shit, though...

Jennifer Lopez: Rebirth. okay... everyone has their guilty pleasures. not that i LOVE her or anything, but i have to admit that some of her shit is catchy. and i find myself singing along despite myself... and yeah, she has a shitload of uninspired bullshit... but god... every once in a while, she comes out with some fun stuff... as far as this album goes? she has one good song. her current single, "get right." other than that, the rest of the album is shit. album will be released 3/1.

Erasure: Nightbird. i love erasure. i love mostly their older stuff... well, i wasn't that fond of their Other People's Songs album. but other than that, i love their stuff. sure, most of their songs start off the same way.... but i still love their music. this album was a very solid album. usually there are one or two songs that i just LOVE and will listen to over and over again. i didn't find any in this album, but it's very listenable.

New Order: Waiting for the Sirens' Call. this is a fucking great album. maybe i'm biased because i love new order. i especially love their first single off this album, "krafty." i always thought that bernard sumners' voice was a little weak, but it just so works for the music. drops 3/28.

Moby: Hotel. i only listened to the first cd of the 2 cd set. it's a lot more eclectic than his album, Play. or even 18. play was a huge hit with dancing tunes galore, 18 was much more melancholy. this one... well... it's pretty good. you can't expect it to be like Play or 18, though. there is a cover of New Order's Temptation that shouldn't be missed, though. nothing like new order. it's beautiful. album drops 3/22.

The Game: The Documentary. the newest member of G-G-G-G-G-G-G-unit! the album has a lot of big name guests and guest producers on it. it's a good album. i'm sure if i gave it another listen (we were driving back from AZ and i kept falling asleep) i'd like it a lot more. steve described it as "solid." i do have to say that the bass lines on it are fucking insane. i thought my speakers were going to blow. i changed the bass to just about no bass and it was still just thumping.

Audio Bullys. listened to an essential mix from years ago. british duo... not like anything you've heard before. i'm still not sure if i love them or not. they remind me of basement jaxx a little bit (maybe it's because they're both duos) but ... they're just dirtier... in a good way.

Black Sun Empire. drum 'n' bass that hits hard. i love black sun empire. everyone should listen to them. EVERYONE.

today's a day for stealing...

2005-02-24T13:49:00.000-08:00

i stole this from 8zero8's blog. check his blog out sometime. funny, funny shit. by the way, the background music is funny as hell... but if you're at work, you may need to turn down the volume. oh, and i only got 7 out of 16 right. i SUCK.

and this is from wayne's blog... another quiz! because i'm sure you're all dying to know more useless tidbits about me... and i'm not feeling like posting my own shit right now. btw, wayne's blog is fucking funny as hell, too... and i just love his cartoon's...

1) WHAT ARE YOUR RANDOM 10 SONGS?

i'm not really sure what this question means... but here goes:
Ella Fitzgerald: Mack the Knife
Massive Attack: Risingson
Portishead: Strangers
Bebel Gilberto: Jabuticaba
Electronic: Get the Message
Depeche Mode: Home
Mos Def: Umi Says
AK1200: Drowning
Roni Size: Brown Paper Bag
the Smiths: Some Girls are Bigger than Others

2) WHAT IS THE TOTAL AMOUNT OF MUSIC ON YOUR COMPUTER

i don't have that much on my computer. have an assload of CDs, though.

3) THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT?

yikes. i don't remember. steve buys them for me usually. heh. the last one i got was celso machado.

4) WRITE DOWN 5 SONGS YOU LISTEN TO A LOT OR MEAN A LOT TO YOU

this is tough for me...
Morrissey: Now My Heart is Full
Morrissey: Speedway
Depeche Mode: Home
the Cure: Pictures of You
Deee-Lite: Say Ahhh...

***************************************

1) WHAT IS THE GEEKIEST PART OF YOUR BOOK COLLECTION?

robert jordan...heh. *blush*

2) WHAT DID YOU DO ON VALENTINE'S DAY?

we did it early. HUH HUH.

3) WHAT DID YOU GET ON VALENTINE'S DAY?

my blog said it all already.

4) WHAT IS YOUR SECRET GUARANTEED WEEPING MOVIE?

pretty much anything. i'm a fucking puss.

5) IF YOU COULD HAVE PLASTIC SURGERY, WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE?

i would make my boobs even :P that way i wouldn't have to wear a bra. yes!

6) DO YOU HAVE A COMPLETELY IRRATIONAL FEAR?

i have lots of them. now just doesn't seem like the time or place to go into them.

7) WHAT IS THE LITTLE PHYSICAL HABIT THAT GIVES AWAY YOUR INSECURE MOMENTS?

can't make eye contact.

8) DO YOU KNOW ANYONE FAMOUS?

joe. JOE MAMA, BITCH! sorry. i'm retarded.

9) WHAT DO YOU CARRY WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES?

i dunno. purse? except at the gym...

10) WHAT DO YOU MISS ABOUT BEING A KID?

having my grandma buy me ice cream from the ghetto ass ice cream truck.

11) WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU WERE LISTENING TO?

Marvin Gaye: Let's Get It On

12) HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A PLAY?

unfortunately.

13) HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?

of course... i'm still in love :)

14) DO YOU LIKE YOURSELF AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF?

sometimes and no.

15) DO TRANSIENT, HOMELESS, OR STARVING PEOPLE SOMETIMES ANNOY YOU?

no. i would like to help... seems like when i was college i was a more giving person, though. i suck.

16) WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENT DO YOU WISH YOU COULD PLAY?

piano. my parents told me i would regret it if i quit playing... and i didn't believe them. damn it! i hate it when they're right.

17) FAVORITE FABRIC?

yikes. i don't know. i don't know the name of them... is seersucker a fabric? heh. christ. i don't know.

18) WHAT'S ONE LANGUAGE YOU WANT TO LEARN?

japanese. so i wouldn't have to wait for the fansubs... i took a semester in college. i don't remember shit.

19) WHAT DO YOU ORDER AT A BAR?

vodka tonic. ketel one preferably. no SKYY. good lord. no.

20) HAVE YOU EVER PIERCED YOUR BODY PARTS?

uh-huh

21) DO YOU HAVE TATTOOS?

uh-huh

22) DO YOU DRIVE A STICK?

i used to. my baby tercel... *sigh* now i have an automatic.

23) FAVORITE TRAIT OF THE OPPOSITE SEX

nice arms :) oh, yeah. and a personality :P pffff :P

24) MOST FRIVOLOUS PURCHASE?

all that shit i keep buying from the dollar bins at target. fucking target.

25) WHAT ARE YOU BEST AT COOKING?

i don't know... steve eats everything i make, even when it sucks. and he tells me it's tasty.

26) WOULD YOU EVER GO OUT DRESSSED LIKE THE OPPOSITE SEX?

would i have to tape down my boobs?

27) WHAT'S ONE CAR YOU WILL NEVER BUY?

anything american. the doors are too fucking heavy.

28) WHAT KIND OF BOOKS DO YOU LIKE TO READ?

everything... just about.

29) IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

pay off the mortgage... and help other family pay their shit off.

30) DO YOU CRY IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS?

i have... i don't like to cry in front of people, though.

31) WHAT'S ONE THING YOU LIKE TO DO ALONE?

masturbate. no. it's more fun when steve's there :P okay, here's my answer: go grocery shopping.

32) ARE YOU A GIVER OR A TAKER?

giver. sometimes.

33) WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

probably the last movie i watched.

34) HOW MANY DRINKS BEFORE YOU'RE TIPSY/SLEEPY?

usually, 1. on a good drinkin' night 3 or 4. those nights don't come around very often.

LOST

2005-02-24T08:46:00.000-08:00

wtf, man!!! why don't they show any back story on hurley? it's driving me insane! steve is claiming that hurley's one of "those" people from the island...

is he??? this shit is driving me insane!

but THEN... did anyone else notice that on the little korean girl's tv screen, there was a shot of hurley on it? he was getting into a car... WTF???? what's he doing on korean tv? i couldn't hear what he was saying... or if it was him talking or what...

does that mean that he's not part of the island and the producers are just trying to throw us off by not showing any back story on hurley? wtf?

WTF???

i've gotta know. i can't wait for a whole week!!!! GAH!!!!!

good news and bad news

2005-02-24T08:20:00.000-08:00

okay, 2 good things and one bad...

good news:

1 - it's just absofuckinglutely gorgeous out here today! oh, god, i hope the weather lasts through the weekend. i'm so tired of the rain! guess i'm just spoiled from the usually good weather here.

2 - my cleavage looks AWESOME today! i did a double take in the restroom! i have to remember to wear this bra/top combo more often.

bad news:

even though this is only a 4-day work week, it still feels like i put in a full week.

what the fuck? no seriously. it feels like it should be friday today. and it felt like it should've been friday yesterday. damn it! i hate work.

things that PISS ME OFF

2005-02-23T16:23:00.000-08:00

another reason i hate people...

there are some people who think that they're so fucking open-minded... they pride themselves on being open-minded... but they're really not...

and everything has to be on their fucking terms. they talk themselves into believing that they're so much better than you. and they're not.

they think they're so fucking intelligent, but they're not. they think they're different, but they're not.

condescending idiots.

that kind of shit reminds me of PSYCHO. and i hate it.

people are so fucking stupid. it's unbelievable.

fuck them.

i feel much better now. blogging's so passive-aggressive. it's so me.

how did i even graduate from college?

2005-02-23T14:53:00.000-08:00

it's becoming quite clear to me that my school should never have given me a diploma.

i have a degree in business administration. and i don't know a fucking thing about it. i have to ask steve EVERYTHING about... well, everything.

seriously, anything that has to do with money, i have to ask him... jeezus... what? 401K? mortgage payments? interest? my eyes just fucking glaze over.

i'm soooo glad that he bought our place before i ever came into the picture. i think i would've FREAKED THE FUCK OUT if i had to deal with any of that shit.

when i went into college, i had a full scholarship. an academic one, no less. i guess i'm just a good test taker. anyway, my freshman year, i just fucked around. i started out with a double major... and somehow i just barely squeaked by with one. heh. anyway, i needed a 3.5 to keep my scholarship, so i was shit outta luck.

i wrote the board this letter... a total bullshit letter and they agreed to extend my scholarship for another year... but i was on probation.

i might've been able to keep my scholarship had i gotten a 4.0 my sophomore year... and had i taken an assload of classes... but that didn't fucking happen. heh.

so i lost my stupid scholarship. i was taking this stupid botany class... and i hated it. i hated every fucking second of it. i hated it so much, i withdrew from the class... he was the only professor teaching that class. and just about every fucking major needed it... except, business administration. and that's what i went with.

i didn't get horrible grades in those business classes, either. i guess i was just going through the motions and just did what i was told. and i got through it.

and i must've repressed those memories or something. sophomore through senior years were the Psycho Years, so maybe i really did. heh.

regardless, though... i can't believe they gave me a freakin' diploma. it's probably not even valid. heh. i'm beginning to wonder why i even went.

the only thing i learned in college was how to appreciate a good wine. YOU CHUG IT. :P no, but really. that's all i learned. i didn't need to go to college for that!

i only made one friend in college. all my other friends are from high school or pre-puberty. i didn't retain any information from any of my classes. i don't have great memories from most of my college years.

i guess i just did college because i was expected to. i still feel lost most of the time, like i don't know what i want to do when i grow up. i'm really beginning to think i didn't need to go to college.

i can't resist this shit!

2005-02-23T10:27:00.000-08:00

this is the fault of yb and j. damn you two.

1. What time do you get up? 7am.

2. If you could eat lunch with one person, who would it be? johnny depp (sorry, j! we can have a 3some, though :P hehe)

3. Gold or silver? neither. platinum, baby. :P

4. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? this is going to be sad. i seriously believe that it was farenheit 9/11. yes, it's been that long. we have a projector, people! what do we need to go to the movies for? :P

5. What is your favorite TV show? 3-way tie. HUH HUH. i said 3-way. desperate housewives, lost, battlestar galactica.

6. What do you have for breakfast? normally i don't eat breakfast. if i do, it's cereal or a freakin' granola bar.

7. Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with? PSYCHO.

8. What/who inspires you? music.

9. What is your middle name? Hye-Eun.

10. Beach, city, or country? what, no option for suburbia? :P hehe. i'm going to go with the beach...

11. Favorite ice cream? can't eat much of it. i, like j, am lactose intolerant. i love breyer's vanilla ice cream, though.

12. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn? plain.

13. Favorite color? orange.

14. What kind of car do you drive? silver scion xA

15. What characteristic do you despise? there are so many! how could i possibly just pick one! no, seriously. i can't. it might be condescension. or stupidity. hrm...

16. Favorite flower? birds of paradise.

17. If you could go anywhere in the world on a vacation, where would you go? back to tahiti.

18. What color is your bathroom? boring.

19. Where would you retire to? so cal. hey, i'm already here! :P

20. Favorite day of the week? friday night.

21. What did you do for your last birthday? went to a moroccan restaurant with the hubby.

22. Where were you born? seoul, korea

23. Favorite sport to watch? fuck sports. does porn count? :P

24. What laundry detergent do you use? tide.

25. Coke or Pepsi? i don't drink much soda... if i had to pick, it'd be coke (sorry, yb!)

26. Are you a morning person or a night owl? neither. i used to be a night owl. now i just love sleep too much.

27. What is your shoe size? 7

28. Do you have any pets? 2. the bunny and the hubby :P

29. What is the title of the last book you read? oh, christ. this is embarrassing. gardens of the moon by steven erikson. i'm going to start up on middlesex soon, though. heh. *blush*

i'm a disgusting little creature

2005-02-23T09:30:00.000-08:00

that's what steve always calls me... last night, i confirmed it...

i drank way too much wine (well, it wasn't that much, but it was too much for me. it wasn't quite half a bottle, i don't think. maybe it was. who knows.) and i fell asleep on the floor in the living room. steve had to pick me up take me to bed. i was on his side of the bed. i probably drooled on his pillow. but that's not the worst of it. i didn't wash my face OR brush my teeth. EWWWW....

he should divorce me right now.

speaking of disgusting little creatures, the bunny's been spending a lot of time indoors because of the rain. she makes our bedroom smell. BAD. she pees a lot. and poops even more. we have to put down these diaper things (that people use when they can't control their bodily fluids in bed) on the floor because she's a bad little bunny and will just go in the corner... that little fucking brat.

anyway, sometimes she will poop right next to it. luckily, bunny poop is just pellets. they don't stain or anything, so i don't get mad at her... and i will pick them up, put them on the diaper and tell her, "bunny buns, you need to poop on the diaper. that's what it's there for." yes, i realize she doesn't understand me, but i still tell her that.

when i do that, she sniffs at them, looks at me like she's saying, "a poop buffet? for me????" and will have at it. yes, bunnies eat their own poop. apparently, they have nutrients or something. whatever. it's fucking nasty. and then she will cut out the middle man. by middle man, i mean diaper. she will SUCK IT STRAIGHT OUT OF HER OWN ASSHOLE.

so NOW who's the disgusting little creature, HUH? HUH????

i love me some white boy dancing...

2005-02-23T09:04:00.000-08:00

it might take a while to load up... but, damn it's worth it... i had the hardest time pretending to be working while this was playing... i couldn't even have a smirk on my face!!!!

check it.

RIP, Mr. Thompson

2005-02-22T15:48:00.000-08:00

forgot to post this earlier in the day...

damn. now, why didn't i pick him for the dead pool?

actually, to be honest, i didn't even know he was still alive...

at any rate, RIP to a great writer and journalist.

YB and his quizzes

2005-02-22T13:25:00.000-08:00

thanks for another quiz, YB...

i only got a 96. damn! oh well. there were some that after i saw the answers, i was like, "D'OH!" son of a bitch! i should've gotten more right.

i heart 3-day weekends

2005-02-22T09:28:00.000-08:00

well, yeah... our weekend was pretty much just us getting wasted, playing video games, watching movies... and EATING. good lord. i ate a lot. mike also had a massage guy come in. mmm, massages for us!

so, mike and nina live in this palatial estate in arizona. it's a gorgeous home. i loved it. their guest bathroom has a red cross theme... there is honest to god glycerin in that bathroom. let's just say their home's not exactly child-friendly. :P hrm... what else??? sam was so sweet and vacated his room for us to stay in... we could've stayed in the other room... we wouldn't have minded at all.

OH! and i finally went to sonic. it is my FAVORITE fast food joint now. they have TATER TOTS... you can request a side of tots instead of fries! and they make sandwiches on texas toast. what's NOT to love? i may have to request to open up a franchise in cali, just so i can have it every once in a while. no, seriously. oh, and they have those jalapeno poppers... you know... fried goodness with cheese inside. mmm... i love those...

mike and nina were fabulous hosts... (thanks again, you guys.... we had fun hanging out! it's your turn to visit us next time. heh.)

steve drove all the way home... i slept pretty much the whole way... we stopped by the cabazon outlets because i had to pee, but we ended up going to the gap and the nike outlets. i thought we were going to buy steve stuff, but we didn't find anything for him. i, on the other hand, found lots of stuff to buy. i love socks!

when we got home, we checked on the poor baby bunny. GOOD GOD, but she poops and pees a lot. which is bizarre because she doesn't drink a whole lotta water. she gets all her water from the fresh veggies... but, she wasn't too bad. she just destroyed the gameboy advance charger and one of my shoes. good bye strappy shoe. :( oh well. they were old and i never wore them anymore, anyway.

after we came home from the gym, it was raining and we decided to go hot tubbing! hot tubbing in the rain is great because the hot tub doesn't get too hot. making out doesn't suck, either! :P

oh, and steve made me dinner, too. he's the sweetest... :)

i was going to give him this little gift i'd gotten him for hubby appreciation, but i think i may have to give it to him for his bday because i don't have anything for his bday yet :( and it's coming up in less than 2 weeks. we're going to miami, but it's not like i'm really getting him anything... you know? oy vey...

what do you get the man who has everything? a prostitute. :P no, seriously. i don't know what to get him... *sigh*

*UPDATE* there IS a sonic in socal! holy shit! there's one in anaheim... which isn't that far from my house... holy god. i need to go... soon. for dinner tonight? hehe...

wow! i'm really fucking drunk!

2005-02-20T00:27:00.000-08:00

what a surprise, eh?

i never get drunk. i'm SO not an alcoholic.

read nina's blog for the blow-by-blow.

HUH HUH. i said blow. i rule.

WTF???

2005-02-18T10:09:00.000-08:00

seriously. what the fuck?

i spilled tea on me... TWICE this morning. i'm FOR SURE not taking my rain jacket off today.

ugh

2005-02-18T10:01:00.000-08:00

normally, i copy post elsewhere before i try to publish ... especially now that blogger's been such a BITCH....

however... i just wrote one... and it was pretty short...and blogger didn't seem to be giving me too much of a problem... and i lost it. *smacks self on forehead* D'OH!

i have no idea what i was babbling about. damn.

oh yeah. i remember now.

i was writing about how fucking sad i am. not as in depressed sad. i mean like... i'm a sorry ass kinda sad. this morning on the way to work, i was going through my cell phone, deleting out old entries, etc... and i realized that... i have MORE work contacts than i do family and friends... COMBINED. is that not SAD? and the family # includes my dad, my mom and my sister. for each of their cell phones. how embarrassing.

i'm a fucking loser.

what else... what else was i babbling about.. oh yes. the white bunny fur ALL OVER MY BLACK PANTS because she always insists on rubbing her fat, white-furred body all over my legs whenever i'm wearing black... like she's marking her territory... telling all the other bunnies that i'm her bitch.

of course i forgot to delint myself before leaving home... so i had to use scotch tape all over myself when i came into work. do you have any idea how much tape i had to use? i think i used a third of a roll of scotch tape.

at least it's a 3 day weekend. wooty woot! :) and my boss told me to go home at lunch. guess who's taking an early lunch? :P

blogger... GAH!

2005-02-17T11:04:00.000-08:00

wtf? blogger's fucked up again. usually i check here to see if there's something going on... but NOTHING.

stupid thing. if i weren't so addicted, i'd stop reading other people's blogs... yes, it is THAT frustrating. good thing i'm addicted.

i can't wait for this 3 day weekend...

i love my statcounter. i don't get the good things like mike does... like that dirty shit he gets... but i still laugh sometimes...

i got "yellow asian fever" once... i get a LOT of hits from searching for nicolas cage and alice kim. whatever... hrm... i got "thoughts on boyshorts" today. was someone checking to see what the popular opinion was on boyshorts or something? well... whoever did the search, BOYSHORTS ARE CUTE AND SEXY!

okay... anyway... i always wonder about those searches...

i wish i had better ones.

i'm going to have to start talking about dirty, dirty shit. but my friend johnny told me that he would stop reading my blog if i ever went into detail about our sex life. you have to understand, johnny's known me since i was about 10. i'm sure it makes him feel dirty or something. only for you, johnny... i'd bet more people would read my blog if i started talking about how i like to talk dirty and i like it rough sometimes. HAH! kidding! kidding! just trying to gross you out! you know i love you.

hey, someone clicked on my blog while doing a search on wifey world. what the fuck is that???? wifey world? is it someone looking for a mail order bride? or maybe for dirty pics of men's wives. hrm...

yesterday, we watched live tv in our home for the first time in... months. maybe it was years. no, we didn't get cable. we have an AVPC and we hooked up an antenna to it.

i got to see LOST while it was actually airing. shocking, i know. the only thing i hated was the fact that we had to watch commercials. next time, we'll record the first 15 mins or so... and then start watching so we can just skip all the commercials, but still finish watching it at the same time :) woohoo! it's like tivo. but it's a PC. god. technology fucking rules!

is it lunchtime yet? i'm fucking starving... and i never did get that doughnut.

Entertainment: Movies, Music, Games

2005-02-17T09:38:00.000-08:00

MOVIES

Bride and Prejudice. based on Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice." (as if you couldn't tell from the title.) it's fun. funny. if you like musicals. there aren't that many songs in it. hehe. it's silly and cheesy, but at least it knows it. all i know is i love indian music videos. it was so much fun! from the director of Bend it Like Beckham. i doubt it will do as well as "Beckham," but it's definitely worth a watch... at least for the gorgeous Indian ladies. holy god. particularly aishwarya rai. the biggest bollywood star. she's 32 years old (according to IMDB's profile) but ... she could pass for early 20s. steve says she was a previous miss world or something. my god. she is sooooo gorgeous. i just want to keep her in a glass box or something and keep her protected from the whole world. yes. it sounds like i have an unhealthy obsession with her. i might. heh. hey, imdb says she gained 20 lbs for the role. i think she should keep it. she looks so cute! *sigh*swoon* good god. i'm like a lovesick schoolboy. heh...

Rivers and Tides. i love documentaries... this is about an artist, andy goldsworthy, who uses elements in nature to create art... there is just something so beautiful about the whole thing. he creates something absolutely amazing and then can watch it as time passes and it falls apart. like the whole cycle of life in a mere few hours. well, some of them stand longer than just a few hours... god... it was just all so beautiful.

Shark Tale. oh, god. just don't. it was sooooo awful. not as bad as Home on the Range. but awful, nonetheless. just has big names attached to it. what a load of total shit. it is beautiful... so if you're into the whole animation thing, maybe you could just watch it with the sound off... good lord. there was one good line in the whole entire movie. the sexy fish (if there is such a thing), lola (voiced by angelina jolie... who's sexier than angelina??? *meow*) says to the stupid fish (will smith), "deep down inside, i'm really superficial." that's the best line ever. i even changed julia's name on the side bar to say that :P muwahaha.

MUSIC

Simply Jeff. funk 'n' trip... like the title suggests... funky and trippy sounds of the breaks from orange county's own breaks DJ. he started dr. freeclouds, the best store for dance music in OC.

Faithless - Faithless Forever. this is their greatest hits album. i don't think they're that big in the states, but they're pretty popular elsewhere. faithless is sister bliss (dj), rollo (dido's brother... i'm guessing he probably got her a start in music. but i don't know for sure), maxi jazz (frontman). it's a great album, especially if you like faithless. a lot of downtempo stuff... they do have the occasional happy track, but i never seem to like those as well....

Mitch Hedberg. okay, this isn't really music. comedy cd. of course i can't remember the name of the cd at the moment. i didn't like him for the first few minutes. i couldn't understand a damn word he was saying and it was pretty annoying... he fucking MUMBLES. but after a while, he really cracked me the fuck up. (thanks, johnny! we love it!)

GAMES

Zelda: A Link to the Past. i don't care what steve says. this isn't as good as the other one i just finished. meh. it's really annoying... i still play it just because it pisses me off, but i should just give up. i suck at it. i hate old games. you can't do anything unless it's at right angles. what the fuck? it's just fucked up. fuck princess zelda and the kingdom of hyrule. pffff.

Winnie the Pooh: Rumbly Tumbly. the cutest game ever! i, uhm... was just testing it out... uhm... for my cousin. i mean, if it sucks... i don't want her to play it. you know? uhm. yeah. anyway, it's cute... and it's a good game for like 6 or 7 year olds. heh. uhm... not for 28 year olds. uhm. no way. nope.

barry white's telling me take all my clothes off...

2005-02-16T16:47:00.000-08:00

and who am i to say no to barry white?

he don't wanna see no panties... well, okay!

update

2005-02-16T15:03:00.000-08:00

i finally got through to someone at the stupid place. i talked to my bro's counselor's supervisor. the supervisor was very concerned and said that the counselor's job was on the line now.

great. as useless as he is to me, he seems to be good with my brother. and my brother needs stability in his life...

i guess he got a stern talking to because he finally called me. didn't apologize nearly enough, but i was happy with the one, "i'm sorry about what happened. i shouldn't have committed to doing something if i wasn't able to follow through," that i did get.

so it's confirmed. i'm going to iowa in march.

all day today, i was making reservations and purchasing tickets and motel rooms today. i haven't done any work today at all...

okay, i did a little... a TINY, little bit. heh.

at any rate, i have to take 2 days off of work. one full day to travel and then 2 days for the seminar.

if i don't ever blog again after 3/10, it's because I'VE DIED. i don't know if i can survive that many days with just my dad... oy vey... it's going to be fucking brutal.

at least i finally got to talk to someone. not being able to talk to anyone to find out what was going on with my brother was driving me insane! (it was a short drive, at least. heh. *groan* that was a bad joke.)

hmmm, i guess i should get something done today...

*damn. i've been fucking craving a doughnut all day today... GAH!*

are you fucking kidding me?

2005-02-16T10:42:00.000-08:00

so... my bro's counselor and i supposedly had an appointment to talk on the phone today at 10:30 my time.

he's not picking up the phone again.

i'm going to call the mother fucker every 10 minutes until he picks up the fucking phone. why is this so fucking difficult? WHY?

jeezus h. christ.

i hate drivers

2005-02-16T09:11:00.000-08:00

on the way to work, i got cut off no fewer than 3 times.

WHAT THE FUCK IS EVERYONE'S PROBLEM?

i mean, jeezus christ! there is PLENTY of room behind me. there wasn't anyone for miles. MILES! and people insist on trying to squeeze in... why? oh, and the second person HONKED and then flipped me off.

why???? i mean, almost no one honks in cali. unless it's a serious emergency or a car alarm is going off.

you know, when i cut people off, at least i give them a "thanks" wave. jeez. i didn't get one thank you. fucktards. i hate them all.

don't even get me started on the lady who insisted on driving in my blind spot for 4 miles. i'd slow down and she'd slow down. i'd speed up, she'd speed up. it was so fucking frustrating. i can't even explain how fucking annoyed i am.

i need a vacation

2005-02-15T14:48:00.000-08:00

but what else is new? heh.

i don't have much to say today... i'm too stressed out to ... think even... or breathe comfortably. i'm aware of every breath and every breath is a chore... maybe i should just stop breathing.

i'm not saying other people don't hate their jobs... or they're not burned out... or whatever... but i think that other people just seem to deal with it better. and it's not a "mind-over-matter" thing... people are different... and they have different things that they can deal with. i just happen to get waaaaay too stressed about work.

i swear i'm giving myself wrinkles. i already have little nose wrinkles because i'm always wrinkling my nose. stupid, stupid nose wrinkles.

whatever. all i know is that i have a bottle of silver oak waiting for me at home... YUM. i can't wait. i don't have a drinking problem. i drink just fine.

OTHER THINGS THAT PISS ME THE FUCK OFF

2005-02-14T16:54:00.000-08:00

so... last week, i had a phone appointment with my bro's counselor. it is ALWAYS every two weeks. on thursday. at 11AM, my time or 1PM his time.

we always double-check before we get off the phone...

i write him an email... since he NEVER CALLED ME BACK or sent me an email... i told him how i called him all fucking day long...

so he FINALLY fucking writes me back and he says how he had me down for 12:30 his time... or 10:30 my time. i just checked my notes. it says in red that we're supposed to talk at 11AM... NOT 10:30. and it's circled. twice.

WTF? this is the second time he's fucking lied to me. the first one was when he didn't send me an email with an update. but he SWEARS he sent it and then a week later (when we're talking on the phone) he offers to "resend" it... uhm. NO. why resend it? we're ALREADY ON THE FUCKING PHONE! WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU NEED TO SEND IT "AGAIN," you fucking lying shit fucking asswipe!

GODDAMNIT! i hate it when people fucking LIE to me. especially when part of the program is about how you should be honest... and how you should DO WHAT YOU SAY YOU'RE GOING TO DO, FER CHRISSAKES!

if i call him a liar or talk to a supervisor, i'm afraid that he's going to treat my brother poorly. i hate feeling like i'm stuck in a position and i can't fucking do anything about it... FUCKING FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

a few more "fucks" and i think i might feel better.

and now JACKASS wants me to call him on wednesday at 12:30 his time.

okay, breathe in... breathe out... breathe in... breathe out...

i'm still pissed.

but on a happier note... my brother passed his seminar that he got "opted out" of last time... so i'm proud of him. i know it's very difficult for him to share his feelings... poor kid...

on a less happy note, looks like i'm going to iowa in march. fuck, it better warm up by then.

the weekend...

2005-02-14T16:23:00.000-08:00

i spent friday night with mel... okay, that sounded dirtier than i meant it to... heh. anyway, we hung out friday evening... there. that's better.

she is so fucking funny. to be absolutely honest, though, i don't remember that much of the evening... i was pretty buzzed. normally i don't drink more than one or two drinks... but i had already had a few glasses of wine earlier... and then i had 3 vodka tonics. so we went to an irish pub... disappointingly enough, there weren't any irish boys... *sigh* but they did have fucking awesome fish and chips... and that makes up for it... well, for me at least. i don't know about mel.

and there was a cute boy flirting with mel, but he had an ugly friend... i totally would've taken one for the team and flirted with the ugly boy, but either he thought i was ugly too or he saw the wedding ring. damn it. stupid ring is ALWAYS ruining my game... sheesh.

so yeah... ugly boy wanted cute boy to leave... jerk! man... the only thing ugly boy had going for him was that he was 21. hehe...

oh, and cute boy thought we were like 24. bless his little 23 year old heart. okay, maybe he just wanted to get into mel's pants, but still...

what else happened? oh... yes... we were going to start drunk dialing... we only got in one call each when we realized that it was 1:50 in the AM. oops. i thought it was closer to midnight. oh well. (sorry, jules...) all i know is that i heard mel calling her cousin a dirty, dirty whore on her voicemail... and well, that made me laugh...

ya know, i'm a lightweight, and you'd think because mel's smaller than me, she'd be a lightweight, too... uhm... no. i'm about 99.9% sure she could drink me under the table...

i'm just glad that i can finally start stalking mel FOR REALS instead of this bullshit "cyber-stalking" and via voicemail... :P muwahaha....

i did have a good time, though... (thanks, mel)

(Q, LE, and any other SoCal people who want... we should hang out, too... but... uhm... you're going to have to give me your phone #s. we can't possibly make plans at 6PM on a friday via blogger! hehe... i'm such a stalker.)

i didn't do much the rest of the weekend... hung out, watched some flicks... on sunday, i hung out with my cousin's baby because his wife gets kind of sad when i don't spend time with sophia. she's really cute. she's just started talking a bit more... she only speaks spanish at this point (elena is salvadorean).

if you ask her if she wants something, she'll say, "siiiii!" but it sounds more like, "sheeeeee." and if she wants something else, she'll say, "mas" but... it sounds like "maaaahsh." and she calls her dad, "papi." that is just too cute... and she does some sign language, so she'll sign and tell me that she loves me.

makes me melt.

and then she starts screaming. and then i'm not melting anymore. i just want to stick my head in the cushions of the couch or something and start screaming, too.

then i had that burrito... i'm feeling a bit better, though. not quite as sick as i was earlier today. not 100% better, but at least i can eat without fear of poopy issues. ew.

BEST. PICKUP. LINE. EVER.

2005-02-14T14:48:00.000-08:00

my friend johnny's been sending me funny little pics and stuff in honor of valentine's day...

i just love him... anyway, the funniest thing was that he told me he was going to some bars to look for chicks... and this was the line he was going to use on them:

i don't know about you, but i'd be smitten. SMITTEN, i tell you.

i'm not going to tell you that johnny's a sweetheart because girls apparently hate sweethearts. but i just *heart* him....

SICK

2005-02-14T11:15:00.000-08:00

the past few days, every time i eat, my stomach will get all churned up in there... and then i'll start having ... uhm... bathroom issues. yeah. we're just going to leave it at that....

then i'll feel like shit for HOURS... (AND like shitting) but inevitably, i'll start feeling slightly better and then i'll be HUNGRY... and so then i'll eat... and the whole fucking vicious cycle starts all over again...

currently, my stomach feels better but i'm also starving... i wish i could just not eat... but if i don't eat, then my stomach starts bloating and it gets painful and i get headaches... it's just ugly.

what to do? what to do????

stupid stomach... and uhm... bowels. heh. ugh.

and yesterday was the WORST. we were supposed to go out to a club in hollywood last night, but i ended up just being miserable on the couch. stupid Chipotle burrito. i love their burritos... they're like a full pound... maybe pound and a half of mexican goodness... and i ate the WHOLE DAMNED THING... yeah... mmm... it was SO good...

why don't i have any self-control??? i know what's going to happen, but every time, i talk myself out of controlling myself... like, "you feel better, you're hungry, it'll be okay this time!"

pffff. this is such a pain in the ass... literally... :(

*on a happier note, i got the tutoring gig... well, if i clear the background check... and send in the application. good god, they want a shitload of stuff...*

king of the one-liners

2005-02-11T13:41:00.000-08:00

sometimes, i wish steve would start a blog so everyone could see how fucking funny he is... on the other hand, i don't want him to ... because he would totally rat me out... everyone would know what i was really like and god... i don't want that. and you don't either. trust me.

on my cankersore: okay, okay... you don't have to give me a hummer!

me calling him a chubby chaser (the chubby being me): i have a chubby you can chase!

okay. i can't think of anything else right now... but those two things make me giggle. a lot.

i'm bored. i have shit i COULD be doing... i just don't want to do them. so i'm not. it's friday. i'm just unmotivated, i guess. i don't know how that's different from any other day, though... i need a goddamned drink. preferably a vodka tonic. mmmm...

today someone emailed me a link about how more and more people are getting fired for talking smack about their workplace on their blogs. why do i find myself being just a liiiiitle bit envious of those people?

this same someone also said that it would be okay if i got fired because steve and i are rich.

just as a clarification, steve and i are NOT rich. he's just good at managing money so we can afford to do just about everything we want to do. i have nothing to do with this... i'm absolutely terrible with money...

if i lost my job, we probably wouldn't be able to do a lot of what we want to... i'm not saying we're fucking charity cases, but we're certainly not rich. if we were rich, i definitely wouldn't be working. also, i'd fly back to NY weekly to get me some pizza. oh, and we'd get steve a new car. and we'd live in a mansion and i would have maids to take care of the place...

shit. i wanna be rich.

here're some words of wisdom for ya: if you can't marry for love, marry for MONEY. :P

okay, i'm really not that materialistic. if i won the lottery today, i don't think i would go nuts and buy myself a ferrari or go crazy at a strip club... i'm also not a middle-aged, balding man... but that's not the point. the point is, i think i'd just want to pay off our home, help my parents out and i dunno... invest the rest so we never have to work again. that sounds like bliss... just live the simple life... ahhhh.... *sigh*

FUCK!!!! is it 5:30 yet??????

do i curse? fuck, yeah!

2005-02-11T08:50:00.000-08:00

so, yesterday, i left work around 4PM. there was a grand opening at a circuit city somewhat close to work, so steve and i went... they were giving out free $50 gift cards to the first hundred people in line! we had to try!

on the way over there, julia calls. i put julia down as a professional reference. before you get all excited, i haven't really started applying for new jobs. i'm applying for this part-time tutoring gig. partially so i don't feel so pressured to find a well-paying job if i just want to leave my field and partially because if i don't leave my field, i can stay here, and use the extra cash to help pay off the home... i mean, the faster we pay it off, the sooner i can quit my job permanently.

so, jules calls me LAUGHING her ass off...
jules: you know what they asked me?
me: no, what?
jules: (LAUGHING) they asked me (HAHAHA) if (HAHAHA) you (HAHAHA)... use foul language! HAHAHAHAHA...
me: awww, shit... you lied, right?

goddamn them... i can behave if i have to... like, i never curse in front of steve's family... shit, you wouldn't even know me if you saw me around them.

but what the fuck? like julia's going to say, "oh yeah, she's got a leeeeetle language problem." another thing they asked was if i dress conservatively. uhm... yeah. like she's going to say that i look like a poorly paid prostitute or something. whatever. i guess they have to ask....

at any rate, i don't know if jules fucked it up for me... i wonder if they're even going to bother to call anyone else :P

and oh, yeah... we got our $50 gift cards. barely. we were near the end of the line, but we got it :) we got 3 games for... $3. woohooo! :) SCORE!

oddworld
karaoke revolution 3
winnie the pooh's rumbly tumbly adventure (uhm... it's uh... not for me... it's... for my cousin's daughter. she's 2, but extremely advanced with uh... the... controls. amazing hand-eye coordination, she has, you know? it's... uhm... amazing. yeah.)

oh, and at southern cali circuit city locations, they always have some old laker player there. yesterday was AC Green. that means NOTHING to me. they did have laker girls, though! it was a rainbow of hot chicks! and i even asked steve if he wanted to take a pic of them with my camera phone, but he declined... so i guess he didn't think they were that hot... or maybe he thought i was baiting him. :P (steve, for the record, i totally wouldn't have cared... hehe)

and then my back started hurting. BAD. i couldn't even sit in the car without just being completely uncomfortable. by the time we got home, i thought i was going to die. so i took a muscle relaxer and drank some alcohol. i felt better for about... eh, 30 minutes or so... the pain wasn't completely gone, but i was at least functional. i didn't even get loopy. jeezus. what's the point of mixing drugs and alcohol if you're not going to get high? pffff.

anyway, there are a couple of downsides to taking muscle relaxers for me. the first being that they don't work all that well for me. i should probably take 2 next time. yeah... and the second is that when it completely wears off, i wake up. yesterday wasn't so bad, but normally when i wake up after it wears off, i can't sleep for at least 45 minutes... yesterday, i just looked at the clock (it said 1:16) and i fell back asleep. i guess i was tired.

i didn't want to fill out the worker's comp paperwork... i guess i'm in denial about this whole thing, but i guess i'd better go do that and see the company doctor. i'm just afraid it'll be a waste of time for me to go see him.

**by the way, i love the new way to post comments :D**

Entertainment: Movies, Games, Music, Books

2005-02-10T15:04:00.000-08:00

MOVIES

Turkey Shoot. It was released under the name Escape 2000 when it came out in 1981. they shaved off 10 minutes of it so they could get the R rating. turkey shoot is the uncut movie. it was horrible. one of those so-bad-it-was-kinda-good-and-funny movies... and i love that the leading lady's real name is olivia hussey. and i love that the other main girl character's real name is lynda stoner. for some reason, that shit makes me giggle. the basic story: some "deviants" get a chance at freedom if they can survive a manhunt. the rich people hunt them down for sport. the weapons are awesome. exploding arrows (really lame effects) and a circus freak who eats toes and shit. it was so, so bad... and so, so amusing. the BEST part of the whole movie is when the female hunter finds her prey. my god, that's entertainment. i love the 80s.

Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. funny, funny stoner movie. and awesome dream sequences. i didn't even smoke, but i fucking had the munchies like you wouldn't believe. makes me wanna eat white castle burgers... and i've never even had it before... and NEIL PATRICK HARRIS on ecstasy has to be the funniest shit i've seen in a while... oh, man... good times...

Silver City. chris cooper does a SPOT ON impression of george w. bush. i thought it was good... not a happy ending. the rich people always get what they want, right? at the heart of it is a damned good story. i think there wasn't enough time to explain all the different directions it was going... chris cooper plays a politician who can't even put a coherent sentence together without a teleprompter and he's running for governor. he finds a dead body in the water and the discovery of the origins of this body threatens his bid for governorship. good god. when you look at that word a lot, it starts looking really fucking weird. governorship. governorship. governorship. governorship. governorship. weird.

The Boy Who Wanted to be a Bear. animated movie. it was gorgeous. it looked like most of it (if not all) was done in watercolor. i wouldn't know because i'm not an artist, but i've heard that watercolor is a pretty difficult medium to work in. all i know is that the premise was good, but the dialogue and story were a little weak (didn't stop me from crying like a little bitch, though). i think it's from greenland... or one of those cold places. heh. unfortunately, we got the dubbed version. ah well. a bear couple's cub dies, so they steal a baby boy and raise him. when his parents steal him back, they have to deal with his bear tendencies and his desire to live as a bear. it was good, though...

GAMES

The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap is awesome. i thought i was close to being done before, but i was so wrong. there was just so much shit to find. i made steve beat the final boss for me. hehe. there was no way i was gonna try to do that shit. at any rate, it's a lot of fun. if you have a gameboy advance, it's a must play.

MUSIC

DJ Icey - For the Love of the Beat. they don't call him the king of the breaks for nothing. another great mix by dj icey... uhm... stay away from dj baby anne, though. that's his protege... and she sucks. she's just a pair of boobs behind a turntable. blah. he's always high-energy and good mixing skills.

Kasabian. one of the newer indie rock bands to come out of the UK. definitely worth a listen. reminiscent of the stone roses. one song in particular reminds me of radiohead, while another reminds me of oasis. catchy ass tunes and beats... they're almost famous... i hope they keep their sound. US release is out on march 8, although in the UK, it was september, last year.

SUV - Follow the Sun. SUV is one of the reprazent crew. 2 CD set. First CD is what they call "world music" (don't let that fool you. it's not really world music. it's just not drum 'n' bass). the second CD is the drum 'n' bass. it's not a mixed cd. just some really good tracks. it's a really solid album, though. it drops march 8.

Handsome Boy Modeling School - White People. this is a collaboration between dan the automator (gorillaz) and prince paul (de la soul). a ton of guests on this album, but it's not annoying. what was a little annoying was all of the little skits interspersed throughout. they were funny, but i didn't want to listen to them again... the music was great, though. it did a good job of spanning different genres, even if it had mostly hip-hop/rap in it. definitely worth a spin.

DJ Patife - Cool Step. drum 'n' bass with a lot of brazilian influence in it. (he is brazilian, after all) i love both types of music, so this album was fan-fucking-tastic. this is a great intro disc for people who don't know what drum 'n' bass is to get into d 'n' b. it's NOT heavy and hard like some drum 'n' bass can be (dieselboy, anyone?). great album, though.

Books

i'm totally going to embarass myself here and write about the book i'm currently reading. Steven Erikson's book - the first of a series, called Gardens of the Moon. there are more books, but they're in hardcover i think...

i used to read the robert jordan books a long time ago. i haven't kept up on them so i think that he's written 6 books since i read them. and if i want to read them again, i'd have to start from the beginning. yikes. but, i might do that since i have no idea when the paperback versions of the rest of these books are going to come out. i think that people who write these fantasy-type books have to be autistic or something. i mean, christ. there's so much fucking detail! anyway, if you're into robert jordan, i would suggest checking out gardens of the moon. next time, it won't be such an embarrassing book! :P

things that PISS ME OFF

2005-02-10T12:15:00.000-08:00

when there's an appointment made, it should be KEPT. if it can't be kept, then let me know. via email or via phone. WHATEVER. it's not like i'm not accessible. jeezus h. christ.

i had an 11AM call with my bro's counselor. it's now 12:15. mother fucker didn't call me back. i've been calling on refuckingdial constantly. he doesn't fucking pick up. and it's not like he's trying to call me when i'm calling him because i have 2 lines on my work phone and my cell phone is not being used right now.

i guess i'm just super annoyed because this is the only day (for another 2 weeks) that he has phone time for me. and he's got all these other fucking people to talk to, so it's not like i can just call him later. and besides that, i need to know if my brother passed his seminar so i can make flight plans... or not make flight plans... whichever the case may be.

he's so fucking flaky. he forgets to send me emails on the email weeks, he doesn't call me back... WTF???

and i'm afraid if i get mad at him or chastise him or whatever, he's going to treat my brother poorly. this guy's only 25... i say only 25 because he just seems so much younger. even though that's only 3 years younger than me... BUT STILL.

i hope he calls me. another thing, they're not supposed to call out of the facility. so i don't think he will... i will have to commence with the stalking via phone again.

but, after lunch. heh.

i hate him.

i take it back...

2005-02-10T10:38:00.000-08:00

i love v-day :P okay, i'll be honest, i love the sex that comes with it :P

we had an early v-day last night. when we got home, i asked steve what he wanted for dinner and he thought maybe we should just go out so that i wouldn't have to cook :) what a nice boy he is.

we ended up going to this place called chakra. it's really nice. i loved the decor. and food was really good. really rich, but really good. but, one thing... they didn't have samosas on the menu. WHAT KIND OF FUCKING INDIAN RESTAURANT DOESN'T HAVE FUCKING SAMOSAS????

jeezus.

anyway, it was good, though... :) as jeremy would say, deliciousness.

then we came home and had dessert :P

no wait. before we came home, we were walking around the stores and stuff and we saw a candy shop. and i love sweets. so we went in there and we saw a little clock. it was so cute. it was in the shape of miffy. i *heart* miffy. yes, i realize that i'm 28 years old. but you can't deny the cuteness of the cute little bunny. and i love miffy more than candy... so steve bought it for me. i think we should have kids so that i can pretend that all this shit for the kids. it's getting embarrassing.

anyway, so when we got home, i just figured that i'd give steve the "present" i was saving for him for v-day... like i said, we don't really do anything. just little stuff. so i'm not going to say what i got steve. because it's embarrassing. it was nothing. heh.

and since i gave him mine, he gave me his :P heh. oh, wait. i keep jumping ahead. hehe... so then he gives me this little book (again, i'm not saying what it is... hehe.) let's just say it's super-kawaii!!! another celso machado cd (i LOVE him. if you love brazilian music, you must own his music). and then these glasses. they're so fucking awesome. they're wine glasses sans stems. some wine snobs hate them. you know, the whole "your hand temp is going to warm up the wine!!! oh my god!!!!" i am, as steve calls me, a wine snob, but i love these glasses. they were in our room at the prince hotel in melbourne. i'd read about them before and i was interested in them, but i figured we didn't really need them. we have a shitload of wine glasses as it is... but i thought they were really cool.. and they're great for people who don't have a whole lotta room because they double as regular glasses, too...

so yeah... i don't know why he does the shit he does. what a sweetheart, huh? he could've given me chocolate and i would've been happy... i guess i'll just eat some of the chocolate i gave him :P i'm a lucky, lucky girl. next year, i mean it. don't get me anything. except chocolate. :P

valentine's day

2005-02-09T10:52:00.000-08:00

i'm not a big fan of v-day. i mean, really... what's the point? i don't want someone treating me nicely because of a hallmark holiday. i want to be treated nicely ALL THE FUCKING TIME. okay. that's not true. it doesn't have to be all the fucking time that they have to do shit for me. every once in a while, little things are nice... like when steve does the dishes for me because he knows i'm tired and stressed out... or he burns me hours of mp3s on a cd so i can listen to it in my car... little things make me happy... believe it or not, i'm not that high maintenance. seriously. i don't know why people think i am.** i don't think it's high maintenance for me to expect treatment in the manner i should be treated... LIKE A PRINCESS. i jest. i'm not a princess. i don't even have my toenails painted! holy shit! heh...

anyway, so when v-day rolls around, we usually do something small... nothing huge... we don't go out for dinner or anything because i hate crowds.... they make me anxious and shit... and i fucking hate those people who walk around with baskets of flowers wanting the man to buy a rose or whatthefuckever... fuck off! we're trying to eat!

we do exchange little gifts... just because. last year i made him a mixed tape. on a TAPE, not a cd. i know. can you believe they still sell tapes? thank god he's got one of those combo tape/cd players in his car. otherwise, he'd never have listened to it...

and i was thinking this year i would write him a poem... like...
roses are red, violets are blue...
i think you're sweet... oh, and i love your cock.

but i can't get it to rhyme. so forget that...

valentine's day is just so stupid and overrated. it's just one more holiday to make people feel bad when they don't have a man or a woman. just when people think that they've gotten through the holidays okay ... and they're starting to get over the trauma and the people asking about their love lives... valentine's day comes around. damn hallmark. damn them and their stupid holidays.

on the other hand, it's a good opportunity to score some chocolate...

**blogger note: there's this guy at my work who drives me insane. he's just a condescending prick. he swears i'm high maintenance and i just blow it off... most of the time... but it's really starting to get on my nerves. he doesn't even have any back up for his claims. he doesn't even really fucking know me. asswipe.

and he swore that he was younger than me. he's maybe about 33. and he's graying fast. and when it was my bday, he wouldn't believe that i was younger than him. WTF????? i look older than him? he could pass for late 30s for sure... and then when i showed him my driver's license, he was kinda quiet, and then he looks at my weight and says, "pffff... 105... yeah, right!"

i was fucking mortified. WHAT A JACKASS. GOD! I HATE HIM!!!!! i mean, WTF????

and he thinks he's so "in the know." his wife is filipino and he's talking to this other guy about, "blah, blah, blah, oh my god, can you believe that guy called so and so and 'oriental?' ha ha ha... blah, blah... she's ASIAN." WHO THE FUCK CARES? and so he's blabbering about this outside my cube and glancing in like wondering if i'm listening in and finally i got so annoyed with the whole thing (because he's bringing up his wife and how she gets all offended when people call her oriental, not asian) i told him something like, "if you really wanna get all nit-picky, your wife's not asian either. she's PACIFIC ISLANDER. not ASIAN."

GOD, i hate that man. fucktard.

uhm... yeah. i don't know where i was going with this post. i'm really tired today...

relief

2005-02-08T10:20:00.000-08:00

i was so fucked up after psycho that i still feel it... i can see how fucked up i still am...

i get all apprehensive. i'm afraid that steve's going to be pissed at me. when he's NEVER BEEN PISSED AT ME BEFORE. he gives me absolutely no reason to even think that he'd ever lash out at me. but i'm paranoid, i guess....

and so when he writes me back basically saying, "what're you sorry for? there's no reason to be" i feel so fucking relieved. like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest. and i know there's no reason for me to really be sorry... but i was so used to always being blamed for EVERYTHING (like, when... say, the raiders lost a game... or the braves lost a game... LIKE IT FUCKING MATTERED WHETHER OR NOT I WAS WATCHING. JEEZUS CHRIST) that i still feel like everything's my fault... or something catastrophic is going to happen (like ... i dunno... like my ass is gonna get a beatdown)... and i shouldn't ever feel that way because steve would never lay a hand on me. and i KNOW that. but i get paranoid, i guess. and it has nothing to do with steve. it's me. it's all me. and i know it.

and i think about how lucky i am to have found steve... and sometimes, i can't believe it. like i don't deserve him. maybe i don't... maybe i got steve when he was in a lonely place. heh. and i got lucky...

and i get scared and i tell myself, "it's only a matter of time before steve sees you for what you really are... a scared, underconfident, stupid, neurotic bitch... and he's going to leave you... and if you gain 5 lbs, he's going to leave you" but then i remember that those terms don't describe me. well, maybe underconfident and neurotic... but i'm not stupid. and i'm not fat... nor am i ugly... and those are just adjectives psycho used to describe me to put me down... because he was stupid and fat and ugly. and god knows why i even gave him the time of day. maybe because i wasn't confident... and he seemed to exude it. and he was charming. and i was young. maybe i was trying to prove something to myself... that i could just sleep with someone and not get attached. stupid me. that uhm, talent... didn't happen until later. heh.

GOD. i was so dumb. and because of all that shit... sometimes... i think... that all people aren't trustworthy... and steve is still just a man (albeit a perfect one) and he could hurt me and if he were to leave me, i would probably deserve it. as easy as marriage is with him, it's not always easy being married to someone who's perfect. heh. and one day, he's going to see just how very NOT PERFECT i am.

but then i have to shake it off again... i deserve him. i deserve this. i deserve to be treated with respect and love and ... i deserve to have great sex! and not have to fake orgasms, goddamnit!

and why does this shit bother me? i don't know. will it take me forever to get over it? the betrayal and the verbal, emotional, physical abuse... the fear... the hate... just everything. i wish i could just... NEVER think about it. at all. i wish i was over it. it doesn't make me cry anymore. but i still think about it from time to time.

and i am thankful that although steve may never understand, he never tells me to ... just get over it. i don't bring it up very often... but i think it would be easy to just tell me that. it's been years... and steve has helped me to forget a lot of it. but every once in a while, it creeps up. and i want to explode. i blogged that i wouldn't dedicate another post to psycho... i guess i broke a promise to myself.

things i do that annoy even me...

2005-02-08T09:33:00.000-08:00

i have my cell phone alarm set to 6:45 every work day. and every day that it goes off, i turn it off and go back to sleep for another 15... 20... sometimes even 30 minutes.

i obsess about everything... and i'm obsessed about it for weeks... and then i never pick it up and do it again. it's not that i don't like it anymore... i'm just... fucking weird, i guess.

i nag. but i like to refer to it as "double-checking." i try really, really hard to keep my mouth shut and NOT ask steve if he's done something... or if he's going to do something. or if he can help me with something. but in the end, the mouth wins... and i want to KICK MYSELF even as the words are coming out of my mouth...

i talk to the movie screen. at least i don't do it in public. but when steve and i are watching a movie, i'll say shit like, "giiiiirrrrrl, don't go in there..." or "I'M SCARED!" (these aren't scary movies, either) or "that BITCH!" or at the end of the movie, "but... but... what happened????" i also cry during movies. a lot. like, i need a freaking box of kleenex next to me.

i talk to myself. all the time. when i'm getting dressed in the morning. when i'm working. i need to stop that. people don't need proof that i'm insane. sheesh.

i don't put shit away. i have piles of books everywhere. i'm finally starting to put my clothes away. i hate putting shit away. when i was in college and i'd dust, i'd pick up my piles of books and papers... and dust underneath... and then put the piles back where they were. why do i do that? would it really be that much more of an effort to just put the shit away? well, in my defense, some of the books i just don't know where to put them... but still... jeez.

i am condescending sometimes. i have a friend that i've had for a long time... and sometimes she calls me ... and wants boy advice... and sometimes i'm just rude. i don't mean to be... but it just comes out. i'm really not trying to be condescending... but it comes out that way. and she's totally called me on it. oops. sorry....

oh. and that reminds me. i'm apologetic. for everything. it's in my nature, i guess. but i learned early on at work that i shouldn't ever apologize at work because once you do, it's automatically your fault. even if it's not. yeah. i learned that the hard way.

i complain about shit and then do nothing about it. i'm working on this one, though...

i'm indecisive. about almost everything. what do i want to eat for dinner? what do i want to do this weekend? what do i want to do about work? I DON'T KNOW! yet, i'm unhappy with whatever the results are. well, not always. but sometimes. maybe? i don't know!

and the list goes on and on, i'm sure. but these are just ones that i'm coming up off the top of my head. FUCK. i'm annoying.

DON'T FORGET!

2005-02-08T08:51:00.000-08:00

wish nina a happy birthday today!

happy birfday to you,
happy birfday to you,
happy birfday dear neeeener :)

happy birfday to you :)

last name woes

2005-02-07T15:07:00.000-08:00

so, the other day, while driving home, steve told me that it wouldn't bother him at all if i didn't change my last name. he has always said that it wouldn't bother him, but this time, it really sounded like he meant it.

and this is what i was waiting to hear, right?

so why do i feel bad about it now? damn him and his reverse psychology.

bras and underwear

2005-02-07T14:01:00.000-08:00

we need to do laundry or something tonight. i'm out of clean underwear. well, that's not really true. i have clean underwear, but none of them match my bras. i might be able to rummage through and find some that match....

i get all weirded out when i don't match my underwear to my bra. i don't know what it is. even though no one else (besides steve and me) will see it, i get all nervous... like i've mismatched my shoes and someone's going to notice... even though no one is going to notice...

i fucking hate when i get like this. i'm so stressed out about work, that every little thing stresses me out. i'm seriously afraid i'm not going to have matching undergarments tomorrow. my stomach feels queasy like i'm forgetting something or ... i dunno. i just don't know.

i finally found my resume. of course, i couldn't find the soft copy, so i had to retype everything. which isn't too big of a deal, but still... i hate redoing shit.

i still can't figure out how to make being everyone's BITCH sound good and fulfilling... like i'm doing something important, even though i'm not.

GOD. just listening to these women cackling behind me makes me want to run over there and pour my hot tea on their faces!!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!! yeah, i have problems. i really do.

i think some people were just not meant to work. i think i may be one of them. i'm not saying that other people have it better than me or anything like that. and i'm not saying that everyone loves their job. i just think that most people just deal with it better or something maybe because they need to and they accept it and just go on with their lives. i've been getting mild anxiety at night (sunday-thursday) because of work. steve says, "it's just work." and i know it is. and i'm really trying to make an effort to not get stressed out about it. but i can't help it.

and i've been so busy lately. i haven't even been able to really keep up with blogs or blog my own shit. my god, they'd better not start making me blog from home. i want to blog from work! that's the way it should be!

christ, even as i sit here, i'm uneasy. i get that feeling of being completely overwhelmed. my desk at work is a fucking disaster area. the middle of my back is throbbing, it feels like someone's stabbing my shoulders, my lower back aches, my eyes are blurry, my wrists hurt... and it feels like my heart's going to pound out of my chest.

i just want to close my eyes...

but back to bras and underwear... ever since we got the bigger washer/dryer, i find that i get that feeling more often... like i'm going to have to wear a white bra with purple underwear or something... and that shit freaks me out. i have on occasion had to mismatch, but god, i hated it!

i think i need to buy more sets. that'll cure my anxiety... about bras and panties, at least. work's a whole other issue.

wish nina a happy birthday tomorrow!

2005-02-07T11:44:00.000-08:00

tomorrow's nina's birthday!

make sure you drop by her blog and wish her a good one tomorrow... 12 hours, 16 minutes and counting... :P

brain fart

2005-02-03T15:33:00.000-08:00

so, an old friend emailed me... and i responded... and i was trying to be funny and trying to fucking ask him if he had any kids out of wedlock yet...

and i couldn't figure out how to spell illegitimate.

i am a fairly good speller... usually... but for some unknown reason, i couldn't fucking figure it out... all i know is that i USED to be able to spell it... but for about 10 seconds, i couldn't remember.

i mean, WHAT THE FUCK???? i was like, illi... no... illegita.. no... illegitimite... no...

i fucking felt like banging my head against the wall... but i have flimsy cubicle walls and i would probably knock it down and everyone would be staring... and i hate it when people stare. it fucking makes me crazy. like i need any help with that.

oh, well... at least i can still spell illiterate. oh. and curse words. lots of curse words.

*blogger note: in my defense, though, i was a little caught off guard when he asked me if steve and i were having anal sex. hehe*

not to sound like an ingrate or anything...

2005-02-03T11:35:00.000-08:00

but, i had yesterday off. i didn't log in to check my email, didn't check voicemail, NADA. i did nothing but play video games and eat.

yet, instead of feeling rejuvenated ... and motivated... ready to come back here and kick some ass...

i just want to QUIT MY JOB.

Entertainment: Movies, Games, Music

2005-02-03T10:47:00.000-08:00

jeanette, look away... :P

MOVIES

howl's moving castle. another miyazaki classic. i didn't like it as much as i like spirited away or princess mononoke, but it was definitely well-done, in my opinion. if you're a fan of miyazai or anime in general, it's worth a watch.

sky captain and the world of tomorrow. it was fun. and had a retro look... i think that it's really cool that a complete nobody could make it come together. it's not a great movie, but knowing that this guy could do it makes it automatically cool. it's intentionally over the top in a lot of it (dialogue AND special effects). the only thing that really bothered me about this movie was that we're supposed to believe that jude law would dump angelina jolie for gwyneth fucking paltrow? come on! sure, angelina's a little creepy and a little insane, but at least she's SEXY. i mean, come on. gwyneth with those bland features and thin lips... god... that was the most unrealistic part of the whole movie for me. :P

maria full of grace. it was disturbing, to say the least. and like steve, i haven't been this disturbed since i watched oldboy. while oldboy was off the scale in terms of being disturbing, maria only gets about a 6 or a 7. but it was a fanfuckingtastic flick.

junkers, come here. pronounced YOON-kers, not JUNK-ers... which come to think of it, doesn't make that name less funny.... but what do you want from those crazy japanese??? :P it's such a heartwarming tale. read this review on it. what i liked about it is that it's got elements of the fantastic in it, but it's so real at the same time... and i'll admit it, i shed a few tears... okay, i was sobbing like a little schoolgirl, but i tend to do that.

sideways. i am a wine fanatic so i loved this movie. believe the hype. it's that good. and paul giamatti? should've gotten an oscar nomination. he got robbed.

GAMES

zelda: the minish cap. this game rocks. everything about it rocks. the story, the maps, all the hidden shit... i've been playing it on the gameboy advance. normally, i hate GBA games because the controls are small and the graphics suck. but, i love this game. and i have no idea how they fit so much shit onto those little game cartridges!!! it boggles the mind. i've been playing during my lunch hour for days now, but yesterday, i had 7 glorious hours to play. now i'm stuck, but unfortunately, it's farther in the game than where steve is. which means that he's going to need to catch up and beat this boss for me. heh. i have no hand-eye coordination. that's because my parents didn't put any sort of importance on that kind of thing. damn them. anyway, i've never played a zelda game before, but i'm going to play more... after steve beats the final boss for me :P

katamari damacy. once again, the japanese have proven that they're completely insane. you are the prince of the cosmos. your father, the king of all the cosmos, messes up and loses all the stars. your job is to roll around junk, basically, on earth... and then you give it to your father to put back up into the sky as a star. yeah. it has a great fucking soundtrack... and it's really fun because once you get your ball big enough, you can roll up just about everything. cats, birds, bugs, whatever's in your way... however, as crazy as it sounds, it's really a fun game. i suck at it, but it's still fun.

MUSIC

unfortunately, i can't find the links for these... i've been listening to a lot of electronica again. i know, i know. so shocking, since i never listen to electronic music... at any rate, here are the artists...

grooverider (drum 'n' bass)
andy c & mampi swift (drum 'n' bass) (2 different DJs. i just happen to be listening to a live mix of the two of them together.)
basement jaxx (house)
the stork (drum 'n' bass)

these guys rock my body and i like it rough, loud, and hard. :P

things i did on my day off...

2005-02-03T09:02:00.000-08:00

(inspired by larry, just not as funny...)

1. woke up at 9am. would've slept in until 10, but steve woke me when he was going to work. the nerve!
2. ate pizza for breakfast
3. played zelda... for 6 hours
4. talked to a friend who called me... for an hour (that's big for me!)
5. played another hour of zelda
6. ate dinner (more pizza! thank god for costco's "take and bake" pizzas. they're ginormous! it almost didn't fit in our oven!)
7. watched 2 movies
8. went to the hot tub... drunk.
9. took a shower
10. had earth-movin', boots-knockin', hot, steamy sex

ahhhh...

i need a break...

2005-02-01T17:18:00.000-08:00

i am taking tomorrow off... i need it. i'm freakin' burned out...

i heart mormons

2005-02-01T15:52:00.000-08:00

you all know how i love those little name generator thingies they've got online... so when i saw this on jeremy's blog... i had to try it... and well, let's just say that when steve and i have children, they are getting mormon names...

my mormon name is: Francelle Ambrosine. and if i wanted a guy name, it would be: Arsace Gatobon. dude, that fucking rocks... i don't even know how to pronounce it and it fucking rocks!

steve is: Bradstreet Lewise Linton (as a girl: Celeste Jael Deleise)

but if i use steven instead, it's: Benteen Lewise Linton (as a girl: Athleen Deleise)

i can't wait to fucking move to utah. i'm going to fit in!!! (pay no mind to the slanted eyes, mormons... i am one of your own...)

what's your mormon name?

coachella 2005

2005-02-01T11:39:00.000-08:00

i'm not nearly as excited for this year's lineup, but, it's still going to be a good one. i knew they couldn't top last year's... well, last year's lineup was like a freakin' dream for me...

it's still going to KICK ASS, though...

for more info: link ~ link ~ link

we'll probably only go for sunday's lineup, though...

good things... for once...

2005-01-31T16:47:00.000-08:00

since it's month-end and everyone already knows how i get stressed the fuck out during month-end, and since it would just stress me out MORE to write about it, i figured i would stop working for two damned minutes and write about good shit that's going on...

1. we're going to visit some friends in february. i haven't seen them in months, so it'll be fun. i'm really excited... :)

2. we're going to see if we can make it into a taping of that 70s show. we tried years ago, but it didn't work out... hopefully this time we'll make it in. and if we don't, we can probably figure out something fun to do in hollywood :)

3. we're going to miami for steve's birthday! i've never gone, so again, i'm really excited. (the bad news part of this is now i REALLY have go to the gym religiously... i'm not gonna be the only chubby girl in south beach :P

4. this doesn't affect me directly, but what the fuck :) steve finally got his office! :) he's been a manager for a long time, but they were being freaking stingy with the offices... before there just wasn't space, but they moved to another building and they were just dragging ASS! i'm going to give him big poster size pictures of me to put in there. hehehe. just kidding, steve. (i have to tell steve that i'm just kidding because, well, i'm insane... and i actually might do it :P hehe) ANYWAY, IT'S ABOUT TIME. ooh, and now he can surf online in complete privacy :P

5. we're going to see margaret cho in april! wooohooo! she fucking kills me! i want to have 10,000 of her babies. okay. maybe not 10,000.

okay, now back to BITCHING ABOUT WORK... but i'll save that for another post. :)

ooh, and one more #6. my boss' daughter is sooo cute. she went out and bought me a stuffed animal bunny. a white one like mine... (minus the pink eyes, though)... in appreciation for helping her out... and she hand made me a thank you card. it's too cute. and there are little bunny stickers in it!

i missed my calling in life

2005-01-28T16:08:00.000-08:00

apparently, i should've been a professional girl scout cookie seller. my boss' admin is out today so he asked me to do him a favor and sell some cookies for him... his daughter. whatever.

i sold over 130 boxes. i lost count after that. shit, i was selling to people i didn't even know.

he should pay me some commission or something... hehe. he asked me if i was "hocking my wares." hehehe....

i can't wait until they come in. i'm going to eat all of mine. and i'm not sharing...

several people asked me how old my girl was... DAMN IT! apparently, i look old enough to have a girl scout aged daughter. son of a bitch! girl scout age better be two! fuckers!

one lady got all upset with me saying how i should have my daughter sell them door to door on her own and how my daughter wasn't going to learn anything... and how she wasn't going to buy any because she bought some from a girl who was going door to door.

yeah, whatever, bitch. if you're not going to buy stop wasting my time with your jibber jabber. sheesh.

sweet! someone just walked by my desk and i had them buy 4 more boxes. selling girl scout cookies is easy. but, god, what a freakin' rip off. $4 per box. rat bastards.

it's been so long since my last girl scout cookie hit, i think i went a little nuts. they freeze well, though. apparently. that's what it says on the order form.

i hate being this busy. i don't have time to catch up on blogs or write anything. it sucks.

and every month it gets worse. selling girl scout cookies is way more fun than working... :P

supah-dupah busy today...

2005-01-27T13:03:00.000-08:00

and it sucks... but i thought i'd leave you some happiness...

i love people who are completely insane.

it disgusted me for about 2.5 seconds. then i just laughed and laughed... i mean, how can you NOT laugh at such inane shit!

*sigh* crazy landover baptists! always good for a chuckle!

I CAN'T SLEEP!!!!

2005-01-27T04:04:00.000-08:00

if you know anything about me, i LOVE eating, having sex, and sleeping. and not necessarily in that order.

christ! i woke up around 3:30 and now i can't go back to sleep. this is really painful for me. reminds me of my pre-steve days when i'd get maybe 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night. every night.

good god. i wanna go back to sleep. that'll teach me to take a muscle relaxer before going to bed. my feet felt a little tingly last night, but that was about it. i didn't feel particularly sleepy or anything. i should've known better. i knew i should've mixed it with alcohol. :P that would've knocked me out for longer.

so, i had a really good bday last night... got lots of bday booty. well, not the sex kind. i was on the phone with buddies wishing me a happy birthday and steve took that opportunity to get some sleep. smart man. he knew better than to stay awake and have to give me sex. he never gets sleep any other day, anyway. but... i'll bet if we had sex i wouldn't have woken up. DAMN IT! *note to self: sex instead of or together with muscle relaxer*

we went to a moroccan restaurant last night. i like places where you share food. i dunno. makes it more intimate somehow. and everything was ME SIZED! :D the seats were really low... i actually "yelped" when the seat wasn't exactly where i expected it. i felt a sense of panic because for a split second, i thought i was going to hit the ground. but, i felt right at home! :D i love when everything's low to the ground! and the couches all along the wall had tons of pillows all over it. it was comfy. so comfy that after we ate, all i wanted to do was sleep.

we went to marrakesh in costa mesa. (for those of you in socal, that's at the end of the 55. if you're headed down the 55S, make a u-turn at 17th -where triangle square is... i think it's the 17th, at least) they give you a lot of freakin' food, so you have to be starving when you go. luckily, i'm always starving.

they have a fixed menu, but you have a choice of main courses. and it costs i think $30-$35 a person. they start you off with a vegetable soup, salad (not your typical lettuce, tomato salad), bread (with anise seeds ... sooo good... and i hate anise, usually), this really fucking tasty appetizer... i can't remember the name, but it's this flaky pastry shell on the outside, filled with tasty chicken filling on the inside. served really HOT like i like food... then the meal... we got the shrimp kabobs with couscous (mmm, couscous) and lemon chicken. and then dessert was a belly dancer! :D okay. actually dessert was baklava (mmm, baklava) and fresh fruit and the tastiest tea ever. i love tea. mmm... anyway, there was just a fucking assload of food. i couldn't be happier. :D

but there actually was a belly dancer there, though. she would try to get people to get up and dance with her. she didn't have many moves, though. except for that one where she bends all the way back. okay. that's one more move than i've got, so i won't make fun. and she's clicking away with those little castanets or whatever the fuck those things are called. you know, those little mini-cymbal thingies. so it was like it was steve's birthday, too! :P

at any rate, it was fun. i can see that place getting PACKED on the weekend. thank god my bday was on a wednesday. it was nice and quiet and intimate.

i really wanna go back to sleep, but i think i'll be even MORE tired when i have to wake up at 6:45 or 7... what to do, what to do, what to do?

*a special thank you to everyone who sent me cards, e-cards, phone calls, good wishes and GIFTS my way. i love all of you. especially those of you who sent me gifts :P hehe. no, really. it was all so thoughtful and sweet... THANK YOU AGAIN.*

10 years

2005-01-26T13:38:00.000-08:00

i have been having tons of dreams lately about people i went to high school with. i don't know if it's because it's my bday today or what, but every night, these people haunt my dreams...

i graduated from high school in 1995. yeah, do the math... my 10 year high school reunion is coming up in april. normal high schools just have one night, i think. but i went to a boarding school, and it's a whole fucking weekend of fun, fun, fun!

(i will now answer the most asked questions when people find out i went to a boarding academy. i didn't do anything BAD to get into boarding school, it wasn't a school for bad kids, it wasn't an all-girls school, and, finally, NO, we did NOT have flirty pillow fights in little short shorts and pigtails.)

at any rate, Alumni Weekend is coming up in a few months. i don't really want to go. i mean, really, what's the fucking point? everyone i want to talk to or see, i talk to or see now... do i really care? maybe part of me is kind of anxious because i don't want it to be awkward. i know mel's going to be there (not mel mega) and we haven't talked since... august or something of last year.

maybe i don't feel like answering all the questions that i'm sure will come up from people about why we're not hanging out... i mean, we were inseparable in high school... and even after that.

i don't know. things are so not how i thought things were going to turn out when i was 18. i thought for sure i'd be living in northern cali... either in wine country or SOMEWHERE in the bay area. i never thought i'd be married... i mean, good god, i never thought i'd be living the suburban lifestyle... it just seems funny to see how life turned out.

i'm not saying i regret any of it. it's just ... different than i thought it would be. i'd never trade steve in for a swanky loft in san francisco... though i might whore him out for one :P and do i want steve to be there at this stupid reunion? i don't want him to be bored out of his fucking mind. although, i think i will need a designated driver for the evenings :P hehe. just kidding, baby. okay, i'm not. i'm a selfish bitch. i know.

i don't even fucking know why i'm feeling anxiety over this stupid reunion. i mean... why do i even care? i'm friends with jonny again (one of 3 "serious" boyfriends i had in high school) and the others weren't in my class so they won't be there... it really shouldn't matter.

i think it's gotta be the mel factor. like i feel guilty or something about backing out of her wedding. i don't exactly regret doing it. but for some reason, i guess i feel bad for hurting her feelings... maybe. i don't fucking know.

i wonder how much jeaneil and julia will want to kick my ass if i just don't go. what to do, what to do? all that stupid ass shit we'll have to do all weekend... stupid alumni versus "varsity" basketball games, WORSHIP SERVICES (went to a christian school), what else? i don't remember now. god, i'm already losing my memory.

i'm torn. do i go? do i make steve go? i should probably go. i mean, this is probably the last time i will ever go back... but i don't really want to go. i don't know. i should go. yeah.

yeah.

maybe.

birthdays...

2005-01-26T09:15:00.000-08:00

just wanted to say thanks for all the nice birthday wishes! :)

and thanks to giest, yb, and veronica for the e-cards.... so much love! :D

also, it's also david and kurt's bdays today, as well... even if you don't know them, check out their blogs and wish them a happy bday today!

we january 26'ers have to stick together! :P

*update* thanks, larry for the hot little monkey stripper e-card. :P you know how to make a girl swoon.

tired...

2005-01-25T10:04:00.000-08:00

why am i so fucking tired??? i went to bed last night at 9. and i'm STILL tired. steve usually tries to tell me that i'm tired when i'm not working out. but i've been working out... and i'm still fucking tired... i can barely function today.

the more i listen to the killers, the more i like them. the first time i heard them, i thought maybe they were a little overrated, but i thought i'd give them another listen. i love them now. i'm going to load them up on my mp3 player so i can listen to them on repeat without driving steve crazy. brandon flowers looks a little bit too... much like a pretty boy, though. too much ben affleck, not enough billie joe.

the killers were on SNL a few weeks ago with topher grace. i think he's an underrated actor. i love him. he's got great comedic timing... and he's so versatile.

i used to love that 70s show. well, i still do, i just haven't watched it in... years. i don't know why. i'm going to just have to buy all of the dvd box sets when they come out.

steve and i went to hollywood once to try to get into the studio audience... that didn't work out so well. but that was the first time i ever had boba... aka bubble tea. mmm... tapioca pearls... i guess that was a while ago. i don't feel like i'm getting older, but....

today's the last day that i'll ever be 27.

sunday

2005-01-24T15:53:00.000-08:00

so, steve's mom (who is the nicest mother-in-law a girl could ever ask for) drove down yesterday to take us out to lunch... she only lives about 20 minutes away, but she doesn't like driving on the freeways and such, so this was a big thing for her!

at any rate, we went to souplantation, which is my favorite buffet place (besides las brisas on saturday morning for breakfast).

while we were eating, his mom starts talking about steve's cousin, audrey, and her husband, darryl.

mom: i heard audrey and darryl may be trying to have a baby soon...

we discuss this for a while... and then...

mom: babies are just so expensive now... everything's so overpriced... etc, etc, etc...

and she's going on and on ... totally making it sound like she wasn't looking to have grandkids anytime soon. and i'm buying it hook, line, and sinker...

she gets up to check out the desserts... and i say to steve, "see, your mom doesn't even want us to have kids... she's not anxious to be a grandparent or anything!"
steve: yeah, she does... that's just our family's way of trying to get information....
me: DAMN IT! tricksy little mom... she set me up! she probably planned the trip down here with aunt ruth... they're trying to get grandkids out of one of us... GAH!!!!
steve: yup...
me: GAH!!! so, did i give up any information?
steve: nope.
me: GOOD.

damn it! she's a sly one... i'm going to have to pay more attention.

after i found out she was trying to garner information, i noticed that she kept on bringing the subject back to babies... like, if my parents were bugging us about having kids... how the korean lady at her work wanted to know if there were babies on the way, the other married cousin's pregnancy status (no one knows), the pregnant lady's fashion choices at the next table... okay, fine. that was me bringing it up. but, GOD, that shirt don't fit you no mo'. stop wearing it! i do NOT want to see your belly or the dark line that goes from your swollen belly button all the way down to your... you know... *down there*. jeezus.

anyway, she is a grandma. what's our bunny to her, huh? chopped liver???

Minako Update

2005-01-24T14:07:00.000-08:00

so, last night, minako calls me.

minako: hi, grace... it's minako!
me: hey! what's going on?
minako: not much *small talk - blah, blah, blah* so, about miami...
me: yeah?
minako: looks like chad will most likely come out, too...
me: oh, yeah? cool... that's great!
minako: so i'm thinking that we may need our own room...
me: yeah, sure, of course... no problem...
minako: because we're planning on having really wild sex.
me: uhm... HAHAHAHA... okay... thanks... uhm... okay...
minako: no, i'm serious. we're planning on having wild sex.
me: HAHAHAHA... okay...
minako: (finally starts laughing)

i swear to god, that woman wants to give me a heart attack. maybe it's only funny to me because i know what chad looks like. KIDDING, KIDDING. he's a nice looking guy.

(steve, you tell him i said that, i will hurt you, so help me god. hehe)

working is for suckers!

2005-01-24T09:39:00.000-08:00

got this off of 8zero8's blog. it's freaking addictive. i want to keep playing, but i have stupid work to do...

check it.

last night

2005-01-23T10:01:00.000-08:00

we went to the huntington beach beer co. just one of those brewing places that have a restaurant. it's on main street in HB. (btw, the calamari is gross. absolute shite. don't eat it. the fries and the onion rings on the other hand... mmm mmm mmmm)

anyway, we were there because a couple that steve knows is moving to denver, CO. chad and steve have known each other for about 12 years now. chad is funny. actually, chad reminds me a lot of mike. hehe. but, not as funny.

chad and his wife, minako (emphasis is on the first syllable) were high school sweethearts. cute, huh? minako was a foreign exchange student at chad's school.

now, minako is japanese. take every japanese stereotype you have and throw it out the window. this lady is ... not very "japanese." first off, she's TALL. she's like, 5'11". i shit you not. maybe 6'0" i don't know. she's FUNNY and LOUD and doesn't have any real sense of ... uhm... decorum or shame. she used to do amateur nights at comedy clubs. i mean, the lady's funny. her english is fluent, but she still has a slight japanese accent.

chad and minako are about 38 now. they don't have any kids. minako looks really good for 38. really good. it's not that she looks like she's 18 or anything, but the older she gets, the better she looks.

anyway, i'm going to miss them. they're a funny couple. and as bold and brash as she can be, you can't NOT like her. she's never malicious in anything she says, so, it doesn't really bother me.

we were talking about maybe going to miami in feb. and she basically just invited herself along and said, if you guys don't mind sharing a room with me... i mean, how can you say no to her, right? she's just so freakin' charming. anyway, so we said it was fine... and she says, "oh, good... we'll just get two beds... and if you guys wanna go ahead and have sex, that's fine........ i'll just watch."

the shit that comes out of her mouth just kills me. i guess i don't really expect it from her because it's not like she and i are that close. i would say that to one of my friends in a heartbeat, but they know me. i have only hung out with her a handful of times. i don't feel comfortable saying that kind of shit to her, but she's comfortable around everyone.

unfortunately, i can't remember all of the gems she was saying last night, but the best thing she said all night was while we were leaving. (she was wearing a pink top, a pink jacket, jeans, pink shoes, pink bag...)

(keep in mind that she talks pretty loudly)
she stands up: am i pink enough for ya?
me: that's uhm... a lot of pink...
minako: i'm wearing a pink bra, too..
me: really?
minako: my nipples are pink, too.
me: mouth open, eyes wide... then i start laughing my ass off...

all the guys at the bar perk up with the word nipple and they're looking at us walking out. minako's completely oblivious to this... and then says:

i wish. you know, asian nipples are never really PINK. they're like... brown, little raisins or something. well, i guess it depends on the size of the nipple... and she's going on and on and on.

oh my god. i nearly died. i was laughing so fucking hard. well, you have to love her. i'm going to miss her. it's not a party at our house unless minako shows up. hehe.

i think we may be planning to go visit them over the 4th of july weekend. i've never been to CO.

i'm sorry...

2005-01-21T15:54:00.000-08:00

so very sorry... i couldn't help it. david h. is just so fucking funny to me!

sorry to have subjected everyone to that... okay, i'm not that sorry.

since i'm on a photo kick, here's a picture of my second tattoo. i got it in... well, fuck. i can't remember the year now. must've been 2001. oh yeah. it was 2001. i got it the summer steve and i started dating.

i was up north on a business trip and jules came up to san francisco to visit me. we got matching tats. aren't we just too cute? :P i got both my tats at the same place in SF. (not at the same time) the cold steel location in the castro district.

our tattooist was so nice and so cool... of course i can't remember his name now. FUCK. anyway, they were playing mujaji there at the time. i got the cd so i could always remember it. i'm such a sap, huh? for some people, smells and photos remind them of memories and things they've done... for me, it's music. anyway, here it is...

i want another one, but i have nowhere to put it. i mean, i like to keep my tats in places that are somewhat easy to hide and that won't sag too much when i'm old. heh.

bonus points if anyone can guess correctly what it says... and you're not allowed to guess if i've told you what it means. cheaters. or if you're julia.

THE HOFF

2005-01-21T13:02:00.000-08:00

i will admit that when i was a kid, i really, really liked that show knight rider. it was one of my favorites... and i will EVEN ADMIT to having a crush on david hasselhoff. he was the well-coiffed man of my dreams. well, he had the car of my dreams, at least. sure, laugh at me. whatever. that hairy chest, that hot bod, the car, that furrowed brow, the chiseled bone structure... and GOD, who could forget the LEATHER!

okay. fine. i was retarded. come on! what did i know? i was a damned immigrant. ANYWAY... this is a pictorial tribute to david hasselhoff... some of these... are fucking classic!!!

*unfortunately, i could only get 11 out of the 12 pics to come out okay. one short of a calendar year. DAMN IT!*

wow! wet, white shirt. *meeeow*! also, i would like a pair of leather pants like those...with the laceup in the front? yeah. i think those are pretty hot. god, would you look at that stance? makes him look TUFF with a capital T.

mmm, 80s. you can't help but just LOVE that hair! it's all poofy and shit. and the nice RED mock turtle neck. he just looks so dreamy in red! and he was just so ahead of his time, too... lookit that big belt buckle! somehow, he just knew that junior high school girls everywhere (and paris hilton) in 2004 would be sporting those... are those still in? tell me they're not. i hate them.

nothing says manly like a leather top and bikini briefs. nothing.

is it cold in germany or something? come here, hoff... you can have my love to keep you warm.

david hasselhoff... a true american... waving that american flag furiously in front of his german audience. MMM! leather pants again!

awwwww... david in a cuddlier moment... i'll bet you he's wearing leather pants here, too... you just can't see them in this pic.

sing it, david, sing it... god! he makes me swoon. matching leather! mmm, i love the way you hold that mic, david...

is that an outline of KITT in the background? and does PETA know about his leather fetish?

okay, well... this might be the second manliest picture of him... with that little bandana around his neck, on the bike and that come-hither look on his face...

damn! we got the double guns going on here!

and just for the holidays! lookit that little boy pose! the little slippers and the adorable hat with his name embroidered on it! THIS is the money shot... booyah! (did you notice he's holding mini-mes? well, mini-hims, i guess they are... so very artsy!)

you're welcome.

PLAYBOY

2005-01-20T14:39:00.000-08:00

there's just something about that word that apparently makes normal, sane men turn into rabid dogs.

steve was the recipient of an email. they (i don't know who "they" are) were looking for 10 asians between the ages of 21-38 to be some cliche group of tourists. they don't have to do anything dirty or risque. they just have to be extras.

he wants me to send in a picture and apply to be an extra in this TV playboy production. why? so i can tell him what goes down at the shoot.

can't you just picture it? a group of asian tourists giggling with their fingertips over their mouths and pointing at the buxom blonde, buxom brunette, and the buxom redhead doing "naughty" things to each other. and... well, i need to watch more porn, apparently, because i'm fresh out of ideas. i don't know what happens after that.

anyway, besides the fact that it's on a friday (i can't even take enough time off work to donate blood!) i am a little camera shy. also, you know the camera adds 10 lbs. and good lord, i don't need that.

i think he's hoping i get "discovered" by a "talent scout." hey, newsflash! my boobs aren't nearly big enough for me to be a porn star!

betcha didn't know steve was so very bad, huh? :P i will have to punish him later :P

i just wanted some fucking hot water for my fucking tea!

2005-01-20T11:16:00.000-08:00

it's freezing in our building. everyone that works around me for some reason likes to have it waaaay below 70 degrees in here. i drink hot tea because i like it and it helps keep me warm. well, warmer than i would be. because i'm still fucking cold.

i walk down to the end of the hallway where the "coffee club" has their coffee machine. to be in the coffee club you pay a few bucks a month and you get unlimited coffee and creamer and sugar and all that other good stuff. if you're not part of the coffee club you pay 25 cents a cup for coffee. the coffee's made with one of those big, industrial, 4 pot holding coffee machines with the little hot water spigot on it. that's where i get my hot water for my tea. that's where all of us non-coffee drinking FREAKS get our water.

some woman i've NEVER SEEN BEFORE is getting her coffee there. she's taking up the whole station. she's not "big-boned" or anything. just a normal woman. she's standing in front of the spigot and putting herself between me and the machine. she's just putting sweet 'n' low in her cup. she doesn't need to be standing there. she just DOESN'T! and she's taking forever. she won't move. i wait for 30 seconds or so...

"excuse me, do you mind if i just squeeze in there and get some hot water?" i'm EVEN SMILING AT HER AND BEING FRIENDLY. people, that's huge for me.

she replied, "yes, i do mind."
"uhm... okay..."
"do you have a quarter to put in there? it doesn't look like it. if you want something, you need to put a quarter in the tin."

WHAT THE FUCK?

"i'm just getting hot water. not coffee. coffee's 25 cents a cup. not the water."
"well, as long as i'm standing here, i'm not letting you get anything."

what, did she think that i was going to sneak in a cup of coffee or something? jesus christ!

so we spent a few uncomfortable seconds just glaring at each other...

so then i was like, fuck it. i have too much shit to do... since i'm near the bathroom, i left my mug on top of the file cases nearby and went to the restroom...

"whatever, lady..." (yeah, i know. quick and witty comeback. i rule!)

i go to the restroom and there's PISS ALL OVER THE SEAT. ALL OVER IT! i walk out of the stall, and i'm about to go to the next and there's someone in it. and the door's ajar. why don't they just use the damned lock...

so, she's taking a shit. GREAT. so, what do i do? what do i do? what do i do? so i clean the toilet off with LOTS OF toilet paper... put 5 of those toilet covers on it. squat over the seat... and go. it was really difficult. it's hard enough to pee when someone's taking a shit near you... but when their door's open???

and i look on the floor, and there's PISS ALL OVER THE FLOOR. WHAT THE FUCK? it's not a unisex bathroom... how does a woman get piss all over the seat and the floor? what, was she trying to pee standing up? i don't fucking get it!

so now i feel all grody and shit... as soon as i get out of the restroom, i drag my feet all the way back over to the water station to get that nasty piss off of my boots...

and HALLE-FUCKIN'-LUJAH... the water nazi's gone. i was afraid she was going to wait for me to get out of the bathroom. i would've had to wipe the bottom of my shoes off on her leg or something.

SO I GOT MY FUCKING HOT WATER! TAKE THAT, YOU FUCKING HOT WATER NAZI BITCH WHORE... SMELLY STUPIDHEAD. I HATE YOU. sorry. got carried away... yeah. *sigh*

today's blood donating day...

2005-01-20T11:04:00.000-08:00

and i don't know if i have time to donate today. that makes me a little sad.

You have to have a hard shell... like a turtle!

2005-01-19T15:42:00.002-08:00

jeanette's comment to my previous post reminded me of my 5th grade teacher. it could've been 6th grade. i don't remember because it was the same damned teacher.

i went to a very small christian private school.* there might have been 25 kids from K-8. maybe. i mean, the 8th grade graduating class had like 2 people in it or something absurd like that.

there were benefits to going to a tiny christian school, though... i have no idea what they are, but i'm sure there must be... unless my parents hated me and just wanted me to suffer...

anyway, there were two teachers there. one for K-4 and one for 5-8. the teacher for grades 5-8 was mrs. carrico. i'm calling her mrs. c because i can't remember for the life of me how to spell her goddamned last name. i don't know. and i don't fucking care. anyway, the other teacher was mr. m. i don't fucking remember how to spell his last name either. manente or something fucked up like that. i'm going off on another tangent. sorry.

i only have a few memories from this school... this one is particularly vivid, though. this guy, peter was mrs. c's favorite. and mrs. c and mr. m never even tried to hide the fact that they had their favorites. they would buy them gifts and treat them all nice in class and they were never rude to these kids. they treated them like people and the rest of us they treated like shit. i never even thought about it until i was older. when you're a kid, sometimes you forget that your teacher is human, too. they should have their teaching credentials stripped. they did us so much wrong.

at any rate, peter would tease me mercilessly. and i was such a sensitive child.** one day i'd had enough and i burst out into tears. mrs. c (who also happened to be the principal) called me into her office and she was concerned and asked me what was wrong...

"peter... *sob*sob* won't leave me alone. *hiccup* he..."

with the mention of peter's name, she stiffened up, handed me a tissue and said, "you know life isn't always easy and you have to be tough. you have to have a hard outer shell... like a turtle!" and that last part was said with so much enthusiasm... it was sickening.

with those words, i immediately stopped crying. i walked out of her office and i learned that i'm the only person who will take care of me. i can't depend on anyone else to protect me. i guess in a way, it was good that she didn't baby me. christ, i don't even remember what peter was teasing me about. but i know that whenever someone gets to me, i always think of mrs. c. but not exactly fondly. i still say she was a cunt.

so yeah. i AM a marshmallowy, gushy person, but don't fuck with me.. because i'll fucking cut you!

*don't send your kids to private schools. they'll turn out fucked up. i should know! lookit me! i'm fucking loony!

**i really was! i wasn't always this way! i had been babied all my life. i was the baby of the family. and then my sister passed away and it was even worse! to this day, despite my sister being younger than me, i'm still daddy's girl. they don't baby me like they used to, but they were very protective of me. more so after my sister passed away.

iowa

2005-01-19T14:27:00.000-08:00

so, my brother's been in iowa for a few months now. his progress is, well, up and down. they say that's to be expected. i say he's an idiot.

it's disappointing, to be sure, but what can you do when you have a stupid brother, right?

for example... he says he should just come home because he's concerned about all the money my parents are spending there. first of all, he didn't give a fuck about their money when he was living at home, stealing from them. second of all, if he was SO fucking concerned, shouldn't he be trying extra hard to graduate from the program early? that's his backwards logic. he just doesn't fucking GET IT.

at any rate, several months ago, i went to this "seminar" thing so i could translate for my parents. it taught me a few things and i think it helped me want to be a better person. i see myself slipping into my old ways, though. i need to fix that. my temper is starting to get out of control again. oh, look! it's all about me again! GAH!

ANYWAY, the kids have to take a very similar seminar. my brother flunked out of it. they felt he wasn't taking it seriously enough so he was asked to leave. there's another seminar for him coming up in early february. i want him to do well and i want him to make it through, but in a way i don't...

you see, if he passes this seminar, it makes him eligible for PC1 (parent-child meeting 1) in march. unfortunately, it doesn't appear that my mom will be able to get those 2 days off. (you need one full day for travel because it's out in BUMBLEFUCK!) and my father simply CAN NOT go by himself. he's the world's biggest pushover and my brother knows it. if my dad goes out there by himself, he'll most likely bring my brother home and that would be a HUGE mistake.

so, that leaves me. i don't really want to go. i mean, i can't promise that i will remain objective. i can't promise that i'm not going to get emotional and i can't promise that i won't go absolutely apeshit on my dad or my brother... not that they're expecting that of me, but i don't want to show my brother that i'm weak ... or susceptible to... his manipulation or anything he has to say.

but, if he doesn't pass the seminar, PC1 will get pushed back and my mom could possibly be able to make it to the next one.

and i feel horribly selfish for not wanting to go and help out. but, i don't know if i can handle that trip. and with just my dad? he's so needy!!! i love him, but christ, i have to do everything for him. maybe i am a horrible person... i don't know...

i guess i'll find out in the beginning of february if i need to make plans to go... and i know it's a little early to be worrying about whether i need to go, but i can't help it. i'm a fucking stressmonkey. i always have been, i always will be, i guess.

DEVASTATED

2005-01-19T13:55:00.000-08:00

that's me. completely devastated.

all this time, i thought that i have never farted in front of steve. he broke the news to me the other night. i have from time to time farted in my sleep. I'VE WOKEN HIM UP NO LESS...

my farts have startled him. in his sleep! holy crap. i have never been so fucking mortified in my life! (except for that time in high school when my boyfriend's mom caught us making out, but that's a whole other story.)

he says it's cute, but... there's NOTHING cute about farting. NOTHING. god, i just hope that they didn't smell.

just so i don't end my day on a negative note, yet again...

2005-01-18T17:09:00.000-08:00

tomorrow's hump day!

but maybe i'll get lucky and it'll be hump day today :P muwahaha.

it's not even the end of the fucking month yet...

2005-01-18T14:26:00.000-08:00

and i'm getting those month-end jitters... i think it's mostly because i know i'm going to be COMPLETELY FUCKED at the end of this month.

shit is seriously starting to hit the fan.

it's just spinning way out of my control right now.

i feel... powerless. and now i have the stress-munchies. so, not only am i going to be stressed out, i'm going to be fat, too. juuuust fucking fabulous.

thanks, AB...

2005-01-18T09:34:00.000-08:00

i can now fantasize about bill gates...

what a great follow up to my eye candy post :P

i'm going to get the giggles in a few seconds...

i'm big pimpin'...

2005-01-17T16:21:00.000-08:00

my pimp name is Macktastic Bon Shizzle.

what's yours??????

weekend

2005-01-17T14:23:00.000-08:00

so, after i got my hair trimmed on saturday morning, i went to see the acupuncturist. he is consistently mortified at the state my back is in. he's always super good to me because he's friends with my mom. and he's a nice man. my dad always makes jokes that my mom wants to have an affair with him. at least they'd better be jokes. because the thought of my mother having sex makes me want to vomit.

ANYWAY, i used to never think that acupuncture worked, but get a few of those needles in the right place and i fall asleep within 2 minutes. and it'll be a deep sleep. like the REM kind. he'll come back in 10-15 minutes and i'll already have had at least one dream. it's suprisingly relaxing. i'm going back this next saturday. my back isn't all fucked up like it normally is. it's nice. according to him, i need to learn how to relax. i don't know. i don't think it's something i can do. even when people might think i'm relaxed, i'm really not.

i'm just a fucking bundle of nerves.

but i'm paranoid because he's friends with my mom. so every time i see him, i ask him not to tell my mom about the tattoo on my back. for some reason, he thinks my mom is an open-minded woman. (oh, god, they'd better not be swingers!) i told him that she wasn't. he doesn't believe me. but he wasn't there when i got my ears pierced. it's not even like i was getting my 6th ear piercing or anything. i'm talking about the first ones. at the bottom. when i was 18 years old. i was fucking EIGHTEEN when i got my ears pierced. and my mother cried. not just cried, like sobbed or anything like that.

i mean the woman FLUNG HERSELF ONTO THE FLOOR, BEAT HER CHEST and CRIED. like WAILED.

drama queen.

at any rate, yeah. can you imagine what she'd do if she saw my tattoo? to this day, i don't wear tank tops to their home. i wear long t-shirts. long, colored t-shirts. it doesn't matter that they live in the hottest fucking place in california.

open-minded my ass. and you'd think she'd be a little less hard on me because my brother sold drugs. i mean, come on. at least i'm just putting a little ink on my skin. i'm not pushing people to do drugs and shit. but no. i think everything's just equally bad to her. no gray. just black and white.

but as crazy as my mom is, i still love her. i'd better. i mean, christ, i'm turning into her already. it's frightening.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

warning (for jeanette): the rest of the post is about the 2 movies we watched this weekend.

troy was HORRIBLE. i do have to say, i might want to find myself a leather mini-skirt, kinda like brad pitt's. but not so pleated. and the helen of troy was ... god! i don't know. i'm so damned frustrated! GAH! SHE'S the face that was supposed to launch a thousand ships? PUH-LEAZE. so, brad pitt is supposed to be achilles. and his cousin is this little guy named patruclus or patrecles or whatever the fuck. i swear this guy is one of the kids from hanson. mmm bop, indeed. let's see, what else did i hate about this movie...

oh yes, BRAD PITT IS OVERRATED. he's not even good looking. ew.

one thing i did love. peter o'toole as king priam. i almost fucking cried when he said, " I loved my boy from the moment he opened his eyes to the moment you closed them." so i'm a sap. sue me.

the other flick, about a boy was charming to say the least. in a nutshell, hugh grant is a man who never has had to have a job or had to be an adult. he was selfish and happy to be that way. he meets a boy who has to be too grown up for his age. hugh learns how to be a grown up when he realizes that the only person who means anything to him is this boy. i assure you, this movie has nothing to do with pedophilia. gross. at any rate, about a boy was based on a book by the same name. this author (nick hornby) also wrote high fidelity. 'nuff said.

fucking surrounded by pansy-ass bitches

i caved

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spam

GAH!

our family in iowa

my thighs can't breathe!!!!

i die inside just a little bit...

30K, baby!

tuesday

i forgot to mention about iowa...

WTF???

fucked up dreams

i'm baaaack! (long post)

iowa

FUCK sports

i can't post comments

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Miami Pictures

keyword analysis

big ups to south beach!!!!

happy birthday to me!

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thank you...

it's official!

doctors

grapple

month-end

i'm drunk

ligers and bears, oh my!

it's friday... i'm in love...

HUNGRY

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today's a day for stealing...

LOST

good news and bad news

things that PISS ME OFF

how did i even graduate from college?

i can't resist this shit!

i'm a disgusting little creature

i love me some white boy dancing...

RIP, Mr. Thompson

YB and his quizzes

i *heart* 3-day weekends

wow! i'm really fucking drunk!

WTF???

ugh

blogger... GAH!

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barry white's telling me take all my clothes off...

update

are you fucking kidding me?

i hate drivers

i need a vacation

OTHER THINGS THAT PISS ME THE FUCK OFF

the weekend...

BEST. PICKUP. LINE. EVER.

SICK

king of the one-liners

do i curse? fuck, yeah!

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things that PISS ME OFF

i take it back...

valentine's day

relief

things i do that annoy even me...

DON'T FORGET!

last name woes

bras and underwear

wish nina a happy birthday tomorrow!

brain fart

not to sound like an ingrate or anything...

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things i did on my day off...

i need a break...

i *heart* mormons

coachella 2005

good things... for once...

i missed my calling in life

supah-dupah busy today...

i heart 3-day weekends

i heart mormons